Leader vs. Dictator Approach | RES 068

Welcome back to Ride Every Stride—Laura and I know that it has been a while since we stepped behind the microphone, but we’re glad to be back and at it. We’re coming back on this episode to talk about something that straddles the line between horsemanship and humanship. Are you a leader or an authority figure? What’s the difference? Well, for starters, we’ve all had a boss or two that seems to be more of a dictator than a leader. Sure, they give instructions and force you to carry them out—but the difference between a leader and this bad boss is in the why of why you, or your horse, are carrying out these orders.

Key Takeaways

I see some people raising their children in a way that they are more of their friend than a parent. The parent worries about being “liked” by their kids more than anything else. Well, when it comes time to put their foot down there is often resistance. The same goes for our horses. In being a leader we can’t just be a friend, we have to set our horses up for success and help them make the right decisions in our relationships with them.

Now the other extreme is the dictator approach. This is when we don’t care if the horse understands why it needs to perform an action. We just care about the result. But when we take this dictator approach the horse still performs differently—mainly out of fear or anxiety. And we don’t want that at all.

What we want to do is keep our promises to our horses. Let them know that if they do X, you’re going to ask them to do Y again. And setting them up so that doing Y is the easy thing helps them learn this. Being consistent and keeping that promise to the horse helps them feel secure—and when they feel secure, there isn’t any room left for them to be anxious.

Again, all of this requires us to make the active choice to be a leader. Or at least to make the choice to learn how to be a better leader. And as time goes on, our communication with the horse can become more subtle and understood.

Consistency and persistence is much more effective than dominance. That’s the key take away. And the results of that are commitment, trustworthiness, security, and confidence. The main ingredients for a leader on any stage, saddle, or workplace.