While maybe not every single person feels like they've lost some of who they were before they got married and had kids, a good amount of people seem to agree that in order to gain part of ourselves through parenthood, we sacrifice a large part of our former identity. Passions, dreams, and talents get put on the back burner in order to take care of those around us, and it becomes apparent that we are not the same person we once were. Of course we're grateful for what we have and may not want to change it for the world, but we also look forward to one day being able to explore our individuality again once the kids are grown and no longer need us on a daily basis. Will we even know what we're looking for once that happens? Danielle and Adam dive into all of this and more in this episode. Episode Sponsors: Italic Greenlight Artikive
Purchase the Date Night Questions Experience paperback book here. Use code "MNMPODCAST" for 15% off. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

79. Losing Our Sense of Self After Marriage and Kids

Marriage and Martinis is an attempt to present a real, authentic marriage at its core: the love, hate, teamwork, struggles, laughter, humiliation, and ever-changing dynamics that comprise spousal relationships. Join Danielle and Adam as they explore every hilarious, heartfelt, shocking, embarrassing, and completely inappropriate facet of marriage and parenting. It’s a bumpy ride, but it’s worth it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this rollercoaster of an episode, Adam and Danielle get into a REAL conversation about what is still missing in the conversation about body image. Adam is honest about his thoughts on Danielle's weight gain, and the two get down and dirty about why they're both a little petrified for the future. Danielle reveals why she often wonders if she's "broken," and Adam reveals why he's been able to step up in a way he never has before. Plus, Adam hilariously throws Danielle under the bus concerning all of the ridiculous things she did while high, and Danielle calls Adam out on his "conditional love." Plus, what's with all the insane, recent orgasms? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Gummies, Gumption, and Good Lovin'

In this follow up episode from Danielle's Boudoir shoot, Adam and Danielle discuss how it felt to finally see the pictures, and how they handled posting pictures that most suburban moms don't reveal to over half a million people. What did Danielle say to her 15 year old son and how did that discussion go? How did she prepare people like her mother-in-law and others whom she was worried might feel uncomfortable with the situation? How did Adam react initially, and what was his ultimate takeaway from the whole experience? Plus, the two discuss:Why is Danielle finally ready to reveal her size when she never has been before?An honest talk about period sex and why it's turned complicated with perimenopause.What negative comments did Danielle receive and how did she respond?How has this whole experience affected her confidence?What did guilt cause Danielle to do in the midst of all of this excitement?What would Adam like them to do as a couple that will even further their connection and sex life?Why was this one of the most memorable experiences Danielle has ever had?
 don't forget to follow Danielle's new hero @evginiaribinikstudios Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Mama is posting racy pictures on the internet"

Danielle has wanted to work up the courage to have a Boudoir shoot for years. Finally, after finding a photographer she knew she could be comfortable with, she went to have this experience, without informing Adam. In this episode, the two discuss: 
Why it was important to Danielle to do this without Adam knowing.Why it took so much courage to jump this hurdle and go through with the photoshoot.What Adam is most "concerned" about her posting the pictures.If Adam would be willing to go back and do a couples' shoot.How doing this shoot has affected Danielle's confidence, and more!
 To find out more about Danielle's amazing photographer, check out Evgenia Ribinik. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Boudoir Effect

Recently, Danielle heard something on Tik Tok that really struck her: "are we all just spending the second half of our lives recovering from the first half?" This got her thinking about all the things we're taught for so long while growing up, only to figure out that all of those messages and concepts are all just a bunch of BS. Are we all too "gaslit" to even know what we, as individuals, even want in life? How can we separate our own goals and desires with those we've been TOLD we should want? In this interestingly nostalgic-yet-eye-opening episode, Adam and Danielle discuss: 
why weren't they taught more preparedness strategies for life in school, rather than subject matter that has proven to be almost totally obsoletewhy Danielle is no longer looking back on elementary school through rose-colored glasses, and how she thinks the whole experience affected her self-esteemwho the "cool kids" were in school, as opposed to who should have been deemed "cool"what messages were Adam fed about what being a boy means?what messages was Danielle fed about what being a girl means?what did they both get wrong about body image, and what do they now realize?in what ways have movies and TV shows helped in disseminating so many false messagesis chivalry still allowed?
 and so much more!

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A Short Stroll Down Gaslit Lane

Molly had reached her breaking point as an overwhelmed mom and wife when she and her husband decided to open up their marriage back in 2008. In this honest conversation, Danielle asks Molly questions that are on so many people's minds when we think about allowing our partners to be intimate with other humans. Some of these include, how do you handle the intense moments of jealousy that follow knowing your partner has been sexual with someone else? What happened when your kids found out, and how did they react? Were you worried about your parents finding out? And, has the experience been all you hoped it would? Molly's new memoir, "More," takes readers through the journey of becoming polyamorous, and all of the layers, hardships, and joys involved in this process. Luckily, Molly was willing to share some of those stories on the podcast. Hearing these reflections helps us to understand the concept of open marriage from a different, more honest perspective.
Buy Molly's book More, A Memoir Of Open Marriage wherever books are sold.
If you loved this episode, please take a moment to rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts and/or on Spotify. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

79. Losing Our Sense of Self After Marriage and Kids

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