Has anyone told José that it's still pre-season and a 5-2 loss to Real Betis didn't need five red cards for a mix of Roma players and staff? The Greatest Hits tour continues, it seems... 
Kate, Pete and Jim have plenty of football to get stuck into, as the EFL season opened with a bang and Leicester completed their silverware sweep with a crucial Community Shield victory. We also get the latest on the death of football's soul with Lionel Messi's enforced move to the Empire nearing completion.
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Not Fast, Too Furious: The José Mourinho story

The Football Ramble is a global podcasting institution. Since 2007, the Ramble has provided entertainment, analysis and coverage of the Premier League and beyond for football fans who don't take the world's biggest sport too seriously. 
In 2024, the takes are as strong as ever, the jokes are as funny as ever and the Ramble remains as essential as it ever was for football fans everywhere. Join them several times a week as they discuss the world's biggest football stories in their inimitable style.

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How about them plucky underdogs Real Madrid, eh? Marcus and Vish are on hand to react to a disastrous evening in Europe for the English sides.
On a night which saw Erling Haaland subbed before extra time, Vish asks whether Man City had too many cooks and no one to eat the pudding. In Munich, Arsenal also appeared to be lacking an appetite as they failed to trouble Bayern. We wonder where Arsenal go from here to ensure they can get the results when it really counts.
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Ramble Reacts: Little old Real Madrid

Barcelona may have lost the tie last night, but have they won the war to become the Champions League’s next banter club? Today, Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish are here to review a night of Champos action that at times resembled a drunken brawl - and they bloody enjoyed it!
You know what they also bloody enjoyed? Portsmouth returning to the Championship! And they created the perfect conditions for a pitch invasion...
Plus, Andy compares Mauricio Pochettino to Tim Sherwood, Jim starts an unexpected campaign to unite the people of London, and the lads outline the ONLY circumstance in which Arsenal will want to hear Bayern Munich play the Can-can this evening.
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Yabadabadoo

What’s that noise? Is that the sound of Euro-trash floating from Lineker’s Bar? That’s right, Pete thinks it’s official: Jack Grealish is already planing his post-title win sesh.
Marcus, Jim and Pete react to a huge weekend at the top of the Premier League as both Liverpool and Arsenal promptly put their special carton of Premier League celebration milk back into the freezer (more on that at the end of the show). Plus, has Thierry Henry started shrinking yet? Has someone in the Brentford area named their baby after Marcus Speller? And what happens when you bring a bottle of water to a whip fight? Just ask Al-Ittihad striker Abderrazak Hamdallah. Come join us!
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Crack the whip

Marcus, Andy and Pete text an anonymous burner phone and get a fresh batch of listener questions delivered to the studio - and there are some crackers!
We wonder if a Premier League game could - and should - be played overseas after FIFA’s change of tune this week. Also, should professional fouls be dealt with more harshly? And which animal would cause maximum chaos if released onto a football pitch?
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Mailbag: Could Premier League games ever be played overseas?

Was last night Jürgen Klopp's final European game at Anfield? If so it didn't end well. Today, Marcus, Andy and Pete are here to remind Klopp that going out of the Europa League would at least mean he is on the beach a week earlier...
Elsewhere, Pete expresses his jealousy towards John McGinn’s large bum and, in an unrelated turn of events, he and Andy explain how they are coping with their midlife crises.
Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.
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***Please take the time to rate us on Spotify. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not Fast, Too Furious: The José Mourinho story

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