Once whispered about in hushed tones, the topic of painful penetration is finally finding its voice. It’s surprising, as well as alarming, how many women endure this struggle in silence, putting up with traditional sexual intercourse through gritted teeth, simply because it hurts too much.

For older women, pain during penetration is often blamed on hormonal change but it’s not just about biology. There’s the fear that can be as a result of trauma, an accident, for example, that can make penetration feel like an insurmountable hurdle. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s a partner or something as clinical as a speculum; the result is the same. For some, like my guest Dr. Amanda Olson, it was an accident so severe it turned intimacy into agony. Her journey, though, led her to something remarkable: retraining as a pelvic floor therapist and founding Intimate Rose, a company that creates vaginal dilators and other tools designed not just to heal, but to rediscover pleasure.

When Amanda and I spoke, we dived headfirst into the subject of dilators - how they work, who they help, and why they matter. We explored their role in managing conditions like vaginismus, that frustratingly misunderstood tightrope between mind and body. Amanda explained how combining dilators with carefully guided exercises can be life-changing, transforming what once felt impossible into something empowering.

But here’s the issue that comes up so often during my podcast conversations which is that so many women struggle to access this kind of support. Why? A shocking lack of education among healthcare professionals. The resources are there, the tools exist, but too often the system leaves women fumbling in the dark, feeling dismissed or ashamed for even asking.

It’s a conversation long overdue, and one that’s only just beginning.

If you have enjoyed this podcast, please comment, subscribe, share.

The more people I can reach about how to enjoy sex in later life, the more likely I am to help remove the stigma around this topic.

00:00 Introduction to Intimate Health Solutions

02:54 Understanding Vaginal Dilators

06:05 Addressing Pain and Mobility Issues

09:02 The Role of Breathing Techniques

11:59 Supporting Emotional and Physical Healing

15:06 Collaboration with Healthcare Professionals

17:59 Advocating for Sexual Health

21:01 Impact of Cancer on Sexual Health

23:52 The Importance of Early Intervention

Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.

If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my upcoming guide Getting Started with Sex Toys, a chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber!

Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £9.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.

Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.

What others are saying:

"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."

“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”

“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.”

Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe