GDDB 010 - PART 1 - The Type of Father I Want To Be

When I found out my wife was pregnant, everything started to sink in. I sat there in excitement and thought to myself: I am going to be a dad! Something I knew I would have to decide was the type of father I was going to be. How I would act, teach, discipline and even love all play a role in who my kids grow up to be and our relationship between parent and kid.

• This is not an easy decision, and it is a decision I know will ever be changing as a father, dad, role model and teacher throughout my life and my kids’ lives.
• I think every father wants to be their kid’s role model and hero - as a father of two girls, I want nothing more than for my girls to be close to their mom, each other and to look up to me as a father, protector, provider and hero.
• If you're a dad listening, you know this is a huge weight on our shoulders no matter if you are a girl dad like me, a dad of both or a boy dad.

• A big influence on the kind of dad I want to be is the type of father that my dad was to me. I truly feel that it impacts all of us dads.

• So the question is...how do we become the father that we want to be?
• I know the father I DON'T want to be…
• I don’t want to be a yeller
• I don't want to be a screamer
• I don’t want to be non-existent
• I don’t want to be “the bad guy” all the time
• I DON’T WANT TO BE A BAD DAD…
• ...Now you can’t NOT be all these things ALL the time. Sometimes I yell, sometimes i’m not there (ex. Traveling for work), sometimes I am the “bad guy” because I put one or both of them in time out to think about their actions after having a conversation about it with them….even though I don’t WANT to be these things, I know that sometimes I will be.

• So...what kid of dad do I WANT to be…
• I want to be a dad that my daughters run to in excitement of seeing me
• I want to be a dad that my daughters want to ask every question they have to
• I want to be a dad that has tea parties and paints his nails with my daughters
• I want to be a dad that makes my kids laugh and smile
• I want to be a dad that takes my family on experiences that they’ll remember their entire lives
• At the same time:
• I want to be a dad that teaches my daughters about life, right from wrong and love
• I want to be a dad that always has a shoulder for my girls to cry on (that’s why I can’t have another kid, I only have two shoulders!)
• I want to be a dad that comforts
• I want to be a dad that makes my kids feel safe & protected
• And on top of all of those wants, and want-to-not-be’s, on the outside I want to be the cool and tough dad to all of their friends

• There are many ways to determine what kind of dad you want to be.
• There are endless articles on the internet.
• There are books.
• There are other dads out there (like me I guess) who are willing to share their views.
• At the end of the day, I think that it is a feeling and an instinct on how you determine what kind of dad / father you want to be.

• Being a parent is challenging, overwhelming and just plain hard at times. Always adjusting my attitude and evaluating how I act around my daughters is a norm
• At the end of the day, I know that I'm trying my best, and know that you’re trying your best too.
• I also know that I have a lot to adjust and learn throughout the path of being a dad and...