They say it's unnatural to lose a child. And, there's no word for a parent who has lost a child other than griever, which somehow doesn't embody all a parent experiences—much less childless parents.

What is a word for a parent whose only child dies?

As it turns out, there's maybe only one that might describe that inconsolable feeling - lost. 

Phil found himself lost in an ocean of tears after his only son, Perry, 14 1/2 years old, and his friend became victims of a storm that came out of nowhere while fishing on their 19' fishing boat off the Jupiter inlet in Jupiter, Florida. It was a beautiful summer day that turned treacherous on July 24th, 2015, and it was a day that changed the trajectory of Phil's life forever, as grief does.

The waves and tides of the ocean are often an analogy used for grief. There is irony in Phil's story of how he lost his only son, never to be found. However, what Phil did find was his voice, a calling in his pain, and lessons in the heartache along the way.

Phil lives his life as if it were a love letter, continually being written to his beloved and only son. Although it's a letter, he would rather not be (metaphorically) writing, and he would change that day if he could, knowing that healing is the only thing he can do about it.

Phil has chosen to listen to his son's voice, which he believes he heard one night while crying alone: "Get up, dad!"

May this episode inspire others, especially if you've lost a child, to come to terms with what happened and what you cannot change, and dare to GET UP and do something about it now.

RESOURCES:

• TEDx Talk | When I Lost My Only Child
• The work of Elisabeth Kubler Ross | The Five Stages of Grief®

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NEED HELP?

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
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If you are struggling with grief due to any of the 40+ losses, free resources are available HERE.

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This episode is sponsored by Do Grief Differently™️, my twelve-week, one-on-one, in-person/online program for grievers who have suffered any type of loss to feel better. Click here to learn new tools, grief education, and the only evidence-based method for moving beyond the pain of grief.

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