The King of the Uncanny Valley - our boy Bob Zemeckis - is back with his spin on perhaps the most iconic un-real boy in cinema…it’s Pinocchio, baby! Our friends from Podcast: The Ride - two Disney daddies and one small wooden boy - join us to chat about Disney’s latest live-action remake, and we’re mostly just confused. How many days did Tom Hanks spend on set? Why are so many people in Hollywood eager to make their own Pinocchio adaptations? Did Leslie Zemeckis do mo-cap work for the sexy goldfish? Why does Disney World’s Rock ‘N’ Roller Coaster revolve around AEROSMITH of all bands?? We may never know!



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Pinocchio (2022) with Podcast: The Ride

Not just another bad movie podcast, Blank Check reviews directors' complete filmographies episode to episode. Specifically, the auteurs whose early successes afforded them the rare ‘blank check’ from Hollywood to produce passion projects. Each new miniseries, hosts Griffin Newman and David Sims delve into the works of film’s most outsized personalities in painstakingly hilarious detail. Produced by Ben Hosley.

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Finally, we arrive at the film that helped put John McTiernan in both “director jail” and “jail jail” - the incoherent nu-metal fart that is 2002’s ROLLERBALL. Zach Cherry continues his trend of appearing on episodes covering movies that led to actual court cases, and we do our best to try to explain what happened (both on-screen and off). Why is this film set in Borat’s Kazakhstan? What was up with the extended nightvision scene? Is Griffin insane for being a Chris Kline apologist? Plus - Ben learns about the World Nomad Games of Central Asia!



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Rollerball with Zach Cherry

What if there was a 13th Warrior? What if there was a version of Beowulf so grounded in reality that the climactic battle with Grendel just kind of felt like a shrug? What if Antonio Banderas was the lead in Gladiator instead of Russell Crowe? We’re just asking questions! Filmmaker David Lowery makes his long-awaited return to the podcast to talk about John McTiernan’s Michael Crichton adaptation, a movie that should have kept the title of the original book - Eaters of the Dead. Such a sick title! Anyway, prepare yourself for plenty of Banderas talk, a loving deep-dive into the famous “Banderas learns the Viking language” scene, and a reveal of some Blank Check-related easter eggs in Lowery’s filmography (!).



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The 13th Warrior with David Lowery

A Fiji water bottle. “Sinnerman” by Nina Simone. That Magritte painting with the bowler hat. A SCINTILLATING, AGE-APPROPRIATE ROMANCE WITH TWO OF THE GREATEST HEIST SEQUENCES IN MOVIE HISTORY. We’re talking Tommy C (1999), baby! The delightful Amanda Dobbins joins us for her long-awaited Blank Check debut, and this episode is about as fun as you’d expect. Do we think this movie is better than the Norman Jewison original? Yes. Do we go long on the filmography of Rene Russo? Yes. Do we explain how Pierce Brosnan fit the Monet canvas into his briefcase? Sort of. Does Amanda know the plot of “Wicked”? Surprisingly, no!



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The Thomas Crown Affair (1999) with Amanda Dobbins

John McTiernan back with the Die Hard franchise after the spectacular flop of Last Action Hero. Bruce Willis and Samuel L Jackson back together after Pulp Fiction. Die Hard with a Vengeance is definitely part of the “we are so back” canon. Shea Serrano (who owns every McTiernan movie on VHS) joins us to chat about this explosive action threequel that features a surprising amount of New York theater actors and a bunch of childhood games and riddles. Also, you don’t need us to tell you this but - Jeremy Irons hot. Also cool.



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Die Hard with a Vengeance with Shea Serrano

You either love this movie or you hate it, and guess what - we’re landing all over the LOST ACTION HERO spectrum this episode! Paul Scheer & Jason Mantzoukas join us once again for a clock-busting, rip-roaring time, and we’re unpacking all of this movie’s meta madness.  Is John McTiernan able to parody his own work? Should the kid have actually killed people in this movie (as in the original, edgier script)? Will David have an aneurysm if this episode recording doesn’t end at a reasonable time?



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Pinocchio (2022) with Podcast: The Ride

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