For Love's Sake

Pop-Up 09: the Spirit of Intimacy

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Lovebugs, join me today as we unravel the intricate layers of intimacy, a topic that hits close to home for all of us. While our show primarily speaks to Black women, there's valuable insight for everyone today, whether you're single, a couple, or somewhere in between.

Sharing wisdom from Sobonfu Some’s book The Spirit of Intimacy, I emphasize the profound role of respect in fostering deep connections. I'll guide you through various types of intimacy, from the physical to the spiritual, urging you to reflect on how you connect with others and how you'd like to feel closest to a potential partner. You can also expect to hear from three different ladies who share their own experiences, one commenting on lack of experience vs. immaturity in a young marriage, one who is dating and doing some repair work to advance her relationship to the next level, and one who is happily dating and gives some insight into her spiritual work!

Find a cozy spot, tune in, and let's explore the world of intimacy together! See you next time, and remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Time Stamps:

  • [01:25] - Today’s episode is all about intimacy!
  • [03:19] - I will be talking about the book The Spirit of Intimacy.
  • [04:37] - I argue that men and women mutually need each other.
  • [06:23] - I discuss the importance of meaningful conversation.
  • [09:13] - Spiritual connection resonates deeply for genuine closeness.
  • [10:24] - This episode explores the concept of "spirit" in human connections.
  • [11:18] - Hear the dictionary definition of “intimacy.”
  • [13:55] - Understanding your needs is essential for growth in relationships or marriage.
  • [14:55] - A valuable exercise for couples is to ask each other: "How do I make you better?"
  • [16:40] - Hear how facing challenging traits in my husband has led me toward self-improvement.
  • [18:00] - Nature and rituals nurture intimacy, forming a vital, shared connection.
  • [20:24] - I offer a personal example of how intimacy thrives through rituals.
  • [21:57] - Relying solely on your intimate partner for emotional needs can be burdensome.
  • [23:26] - I argue that we should embrace feminine and masculine energies within ourselves.
  • [27:06] - Intimacy is allowing yourself to be seen and to see openly in return.
  • [28:21] - Intimacy thrives in diverse connections, built on respect, trust, and authenticity.
  • [29:47] - I talk about how rebuilding trust demands effort, which I’ve seen in my coaching.
  • [32:30] - Participate in a quick exercise!
  • [35:58] - I offer you two important questions to think about.
  • [36:30] Respect in relationships transcends gender.
  • [38:18] Respect is the glue; without it, intimacy and trust wane.
  • [41:36] I walk you through nine leading characteristics of a healthy relationship.
  • [43:03] Learn about gender differences in emotional processing.
  • [45:20] Hear a story about how lack of experience requires understanding and communication.
  • [48:26] Learn about coaching oneself to communicate effectively and set boundaries.
  • [49:41] Self-awareness and growth can be so beautiful.
  • [52:58] I encourage you to reflect on your understanding of intimacy.


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      For Love's SakeBy Joyice Robinson Myers, PhDc
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