Do you identify as a perfectionist? Do you feel like things need to be a certain way and if they aren't, you feel unsettled? How did that affect you when you were trying to conceive, during pregnancy, birthing or postpartum?
This is one of those things that really impacts the early stages of motherhood and parenthood (and all stages really). In this episode, I talk about the dynamics that I see with the mamas that I help...and one that I struggled with in my postpartum...and still work on managing. I touch on how it even impacted the recording of this episode.
Some of the things we address on this episode...
*The struggle with feeling the need to be perfect
*It seems that perfectionism often comes with a high sense of morality and conscientiousness - I believe that this makes intrusive thoughts even more unbearable.
*Perfectionism often develops as a way to cope and manage life. But that way of coping goes head to head with the challenges of new parenthood.
*The stress of perfectionism, can make getting help feel hard. Help can feel SLOW or inadequate.
*Accepting that we can't be perfect is very hard, and it's part of the key to healing.
If you identify with any of this, take a listen to the episode, give yourself a big hug and please know that this is not a judgment of you. Please know that you can find a new way to cope that is more forgiving to yourself.
If you'd like, please check out the blog post on the Postpartum Support International Blog that I mentioned: Soul Level Crisis
Please pass this episode along to any person who could benefit!
If you haven't yet subscribed to the podcast head over to www.momandmind.com
We welcome ratings, reviews, sharing the podcast and spreading the word about perinatal mental health! Lets crush this together!
 
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198: Pressure of Perfectionism in Motherhood

Posptartum Depression is real. And it's only part of the story. We dig in to ALL of the stuff that no one tells you about, but you NEED to know. Dr. Kat, Psychologist and specialist in perinatal mental health, interviews moms, dads, experts and advocates about how to cope, manage and recover from perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. We talk about postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety and SO MUCH MORE! We get real. We get honest. We put on our stigma crushing boots and address the realities of the transition to motherhood and parenthood. Learn about it before you find out about it the hard way! You don't have to suffer! www.momandmind.com

Kids & Family

Parenting

Health & Fitness

Mental Health

In today’s Behind the Sessions episode, we focus on the pain and grief that people experience in the infertility and loss journey while trying to become a parent or add another child to their family. While it’s impossible to cover every aspect of this topic in one episode, I want to take a closer look and assure anyone in this situation that they are not alone. Join me for more!
Show Highlights:

Grief can take many forms, including anger, resentment, and jealousy.

The emotional toll (from hormones, the waiting process, etc.) of infertility treatments

The layers of complications that come with various reproductive technologies

Feeling “partner pressure” is a very real thing, even if it’s self-imposed. 

The importance of setting and keeping boundaries with other people

The person struggling with infertility needs compassion, support, and a listening ear.

A good therapist and support network can help!

Resources:
Visit www.postpartum.net for resources and support! 
Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  
Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!
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332: Behind The Sessions: Emotional Impacts of Infertility and Treatments

Many people don’t realize that a neurodivergent diagnosis in childhood can be a risk factor for perinatal mental health issues later in life. Join us for today’s conversation with Tiffany!
Tiffany Engen is a full-time mom of two young children, a survivor of multiple PMADs, a strong advocate for maternal mental health, a full-spectrum doula, a birth photographer, and a certified perinatal educator (PMH-C). Born and raised in California and currently residing in Arizona, Tiffany volunteers as a support coordinator and peer mentor with Postpartum Support International. She shares the difficulties around her childhood diagnosis, the incredibly negative impact of losing a parent during her first pregnancy, and her battle to overcome debilitating intrusive thoughts during her second pregnancy. Looking back on her journey, Tiffany recognizes how she was operating with insufficient support and community that could have made a difference for her.  
Show Highlights:

Tiffany’s story of childhood neurodivergence, intense medications, and ensuing panic attacks

Her struggle to get off medications during her pregnancy and postpartum without the proper tools and coping skills

Freedom comes when you fully embrace who you are and acknowledge the differences.

Tiffany’s son’s neurodivergence, the loss of her father, and the difficult relationship with her mother

Adjusting to intense feelings—without medications to lean on

Tiffany’s second pregnancy—and the light switch moment that brought the first intrusive thought

Grasping at straws, seeing a shaman, trying to cope with OCD, and having only her brother and a best friend for support

The difficulties because of insomnia and paranoia

Finding normalization through the support of a Facebook friend

Internal suffering while covering it up externally

The dilemma in trying to find a doctor who would do more than simply prescribe medications

Tiffany’s path to become the helper and support that she needed 

Resources:
Connect with Tiffany Engen: Website and Instagram
Visit www.postpartum.net for resources and support! 
Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  
Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!
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331: A Mom's Journey Through Neurodivergence and Perinatal Mental  Health

“When moms take better care of themselves, they can take better care of others.” This is the message behind Modern Mommy Doc, the creation of Dr. Whitney Casares. She joins us to discuss her wide-ranging work to support new moms in the transition to parenthood and beyond. Join us to learn more!
Dr. Whitney Casares is a private practice pediatrician, AAP spokesperson, Medical Review Board Advisor for Prevention Magazine, and the mother of two young girls in Portland, Oregon. She hosts The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast and is the author of several parenting books, including Doing It All: Stop Over-Functioning and Become the Mom and Person You're Meant To Be. Her mission is to help working moms break the cycle of burnout in parenting and shift the focus to their own health and well-being to create a sense of balance that fosters greater joy in every area of their lives. In this episode, Dr. Whitney helps us understand the concept of physical and mental clutter and how to find clarity in life’s priorities with “centered vision.” 
Show Highlights:

Modern Mommy Doc: the heart of the platform and how it began

Understanding how parent wellness and child wellness make a feedback loop

A parent’s stress response and the onslaught of conflicting messages from society and social media

An overview of Dr. Whitney’s book, Doing It All


Dealing with physical AND mental clutter

Breaking the cycle of mom guilt and the internalized pressure we put on ourselves

The value of practicing “slowing down” techniques (because we are so bad at it!)

Ways to bring awareness and gratefulness to each day

Organize your life and focus your time and energy by creating a “centered vision” for your life.

A closer look at what Modern Mommy Doc has to offer parents

Dr. Whitney’s advice for parents: “In the end, the only thing–the only person–you have is you. I love that parents are invested in helping their kids be the best they can be, making their homes hospitable, and getting everything done, but there is a decision that comes very early in parenthood: Are you going to care more about other people than you’re going to care about yourself?”

Resources:
Connect with Modern Mommy Doc: Website, Instagram, Doing It All book, and LinkedIn
Visit www.postpartum.net for resources and support! 
Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  
Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!
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330: How a Mom Can Stop "Doing It All" with Dr. Whitney Casares, MD

Just as a broken bone or surgery takes time for the healing process, the recovery process in healing from a perinatal mental health condition takes time. The process isn’t linear at all but is filled with ups and downs, and it comes with short-term and long-term aspects of healing. Join me for a closer look in today’s episode.
Show Highlights:

Complicating factors that show up in the healing process have ramifications in life, relationships, and capacity to function.

The healing journey does not come with a pre-set timeline.

Even helpful medications take 4-6 weeks to reach their full efficacy.

An increase in stress, a decrease in sleep, and other disruptions can bring back symptoms.

Therapy requires a big-picture view to get through the very normal combination of good days and bad days.

It’s okay to ask for help, even if you appear to be “recovered.”

Support is key, whether it’s from a partner, family, friends, support group, etc.

“Your healing process may mean you slow down and take breaks. Understand your capacity and give yourself grace and space.”

Healing doesn’t come through ONE magic thing but is unique to each person and their needs. 

Resources:
Visit www.postpartum.net for resources and support! 
Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  
Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!
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329: Behind The Sessions: The Healing Journey: Understanding the Ups and Downs

Today’s episode covers an important topic that needs to be addressed as it affects many moms and families. My guest shares her experience of being diagnosed with autism and ADHD later in life, after having her children. She shares how her diagnosis impacted her, what non-stereotypical autism looks like, why self-evaluation is beneficial, and why getting a diagnosis can be a privilege. We will also learn about the role of women’s hormones in autism and ADHD. Join us!
Dr. Kiley Hanish is a neurodivergent occupational therapist specializing in mental health during the perinatal period, which includes pregnancy, postpartum, and perinatal loss. She is the founder of Return to Zero: HOPE, a nonprofit organization that provides inclusive and compassionate education and support for bereaved families after pregnancy and infant loss. In addition, they also provide training and support to health providers to foster more competence when working with these families. Because of her personal experience and diagnosis, Dr. Kiley mentors her occupational therapy research group in exploring the sensory experiences of autistic mothers in their everyday lives.  

Show Highlights:

The beginning (2022), when Kiley’s son was diagnosed with ADHD and she began to realize the scope and meaning of her sensibilities

A deep dive into autism in women, and how this research provided a new lens for Kiley to view her life

Kiley’s experience with postpartum PTSD after a stillbirth, sensory overload, and chronic fatigue

What the facts show: 80% of girls with autism are undiagnosed by age 18 (because of internal symptoms that don’t present themselves in stereotypical behaviors)

Co-occurring conditions with neurodivergence that are often passed off as something else

The impact of hormone fluctuations on autism and ADHD

The need to educate yourself because of the existing gap in women’s healthcare

Common challenges for mothers with autism: sleep difficulties, finding time alone to self-regulate, mood/anxiety disorders, and frequent feelings of overwhelm and overstimulation

The results of RTZ: HOPE’s survey


Resources:
Connect with Dr. Kiley Hanish and Return to Zero: HOPE: Website (RTZ), Website (Dr. Kiley),
Instagram
Resources mentioned in this episode: Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, All Brains Belong, Neurodivergent Insights, Autism and Grief Podcast, Uniquely Human Podcast, and Two Sides of the Spectrum Podcast
Visit www.postpartum.net for resources and support! 
Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  
Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!
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198: Pressure of Perfectionism in Motherhood

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