Divorce is stressful. But there are things we can do to mitigate that stress and avoid the conflict that comes when our emotions get the best of us. In fact, implementing just one or two simple mindfulness techniques can go a long way in helping us get out of our heads and re-center—without having to master Lotus Pose.

Dr. Crystal Dea Moore is a Professor of Social Work at Skidmore College and the coauthor of The Divorce Recovery Workbook: How to Heal from Anger, Hurt and Resentment and Build the Life You Want. Dr. Moore also has specialized training in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), serving as both a practitioner and qualified teacher in the practice of using mindfulness strategies to deal with stress, anxiety, pain and other negative emotions.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Moore joins Katherine to define mindfulness and share the techniques we can use in our daily lives to reduce stress. She introduces us to the concept of ambiguous loss, challenging us to lean into our grief and leverage both/and thinking to navigate the trauma of divorce. Listen in for Dr. Moore’s insight on redefining your sense of identity after a divorce and learn how to gradually let go of resentment for your own sake—even if what your ex has done seems unforgivable.

Topics Covered

How mindfulness is defined as moment-to-moment awareness of the present

Developing an awareness of the backstories we create that add to our stress

How to introduce mindfulness into your daily life (without taking up Buddhism)

How her own experience with divorce and an ability to be with loss led Dr. Moore to this work

Allowing ourselves to lean into grief vs. burying the grief reaction

The concept of ambiguous loss and what we can do to deal with it

Leveraging both/and thinking to navigate the trauma of ambiguous loss

Redefining our own sense of identity and reformulating who we are in relation to others after divorce

How Dr. Moore thinks about forgiveness as a gradual letting go of negative thoughts and feelings toward someone who wronged you

Dr. Moore’s advice on letting go of resentment in the aftermath of divorce

Connect with Dr. Crystal Moore

Dr. Crystal Online: https://www.drcrystalonline.com/

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/

Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/

Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246

Email: [email protected]

Call (914) 738-7765

Resources

The Divorce Recovery Workbook: How to Heal from Anger, Hurt and Resentment and Build the Life You Want by Mark S. Rye, PhD, and Crystal Dea Moore, PhD: https://www.drcrystalonline.com/

Dr. Pauline Boss on Ambiguous Loss: https://www.ambiguousloss.com/