Series: Authentic Relationships

Service: Praise and Preaching Service

Type: Sermon

Speaker: Dwayne Gandy

When Relationships Feel Strained: How God Teaches Us to Love Like Christ

Healthy relationships are one of God’s greatest blessings — and one of His greatest tools for shaping us into the image of Christ. Yet no relationship remains effortless forever. Even among God’s people, strain appears. Expectations collide. Energy runs low. Feelings get hurt. Misunderstandings arise. Seasons change.

This lesson reminds us that authentic relationships require authentic people, and that relational strain is not a sign of failure — but an invitation to grow in Christlike love.

God’s people have spent the year exploring what it means to be truly connected:

• Making God’s love real
• Using the power of words wisely
• Understanding the causes of conflict
• Responding to conflict biblically
• Embracing forgiveness
• Loving one another despite differences

This message brings those themes together by addressing what strains relationships — and how we can strengthen them God’s way.

Authentic People Create Authentic Relationships

Before examining others, Scripture calls us to examine ourselves. Healthy relationships don’t begin with fixing someone else — they start with humility and spiritual maturity in our own hearts.

Everyone loves the idea of authentic, encouraging, life-giving community. But God reminds us that:

There can be no authentic relationships without authentic people.

We must first ask:
Am I growing into the kind of person who builds others up?

When we pursue Christlike character — patience, gratitude, humility, emotional intelligence, gentleness, honesty, and service — authentic relationships begin to flourish around us.

Strain #1 — When Relationships Become One-Sided

One of the most common pressures in relationships is imbalance. There are seasons when one person gives more, supports more, sacrifices more. That is normal. It is Christlike. It is love in action.

But imbalance becomes damaging when it becomes the pattern instead of the season.

Philippians 2:3-4 offers a foundation for all godly relationships:

“Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”

Healthy relationships run on mutual concern, not one-sided giving. When one person is consistently pouring in while the other only receives, fatigue sets in and joy fades. Even the most loving heart can become weary if always drained and never refilled.

This applies in marriage, friendship, church fellowship, and family relationships.

Romans 12:10 teaches:

“Outdo one another in showing honor.”

Imagine if both people in a relationship tried to bless and support the other first. That’s a picture of biblical love — an ongoing desire to encourage, honor, and uplift one another.

Seasons, Not Systems

Relationships can survive an 80/20 season — but not an 80/20 life.

There will be times when someone is overwhelmed, grieving, caregiving, or wrestling with life’s demands. In those times, we step in and give more. Then the balance returns.

But if one person habitually gives and the other habitually receives, strain grows — and resentment soon follows.

Martha, Mary, Ruth, Naomi

Martha’s frustration with Mary in Luke 10 wasn’t really about chores — it was about feeling alone in effort. When someone believes they are carrying the whole load, frustration naturally rises.

By contrast, in the Book of Ruth, Ruth labored physically while Naomi contributed wisdom, gratitude, and concern for Ruth’s future. Ruth gave strength; Naomi gave guidance and blessing. Different roles, but shared hearts.

This is the beauty of love:
Different abilities, same devotion.

Self-Reflection Questions

Strengthening relationships begins with personal honesty:

• Do I take others for granted?
• Do I acknowledge when someone is carrying more?
• Do I express appreciation regularly?
• Do I look for ways to lighten someone’s load?
• Do I give others the benefit of the doubt during their hard seasons?
• Do I ever ask, “How can I be a better friend/spouse/brother/sister to you?”

These questions soften hearts and build stronger bonds.

Strain #2 — Sharing Without Discernment

Scripture calls us to “bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2), but this requires wisdom, timing, and emotional maturity.

There are two unhelpful extremes:

• Oversharing everything with everyone
• Sharing nothing with anyone

Both hinder relationships.

Jesus showed perfect balance. In Gethsemane:

• He told the crowd only that He was going to pray.
• He allowed Peter, James, and John to see His sorrow.
• He poured His full anguish out to the Father alone.

He shared differently with different groups according to what they could handle.

Relationships deepen when we share wisely — not indiscriminately.

Healthy Sharing Versus Emotional Dumping

• Sharing seeks support, wisdom, and prayer.
• Dumping unloads emotion on others without regard for their capacity.

Not every moment is the right moment.
Not every person is the right listener.
Not every detail is necessary.

And when someone shares with us, we give grace — because a healthy church is a safe place for honest hearts.

Questions Before Sharing

Ask:

• Why am I sharing this?
• Is this the right person to talk to?
• Are they in a season where they can receive it?
• Have I prayed first?
• Am I willing to listen in return?

Sharing wisely doesn’t weaken relationships — it protects them.

Strain #3 — Ignoring Boundaries

Proverbs 25:17 gently warns:

“Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house, lest he become weary of you.”

Even good people can overwhelm others unintentionally. Love respects:

• emotional capacity
• personal space
• time and schedule
• personality differences
• seasons of life
• privacy
• conversational limits
• spiritual maturity differences

Some people recharge by being surrounded by friends; others refuel by having quiet moments. Some love to talk; others listen deeply. Some need time to open up; others share easily.

Walking in love means noticing and honoring how God made each person.

Sensitivity in Practice

Proverbs warns also about poorly-timed enthusiasm (27:14) and singing songs to a heavy heart (25:20). Good intentions delivered without discernment can wound rather than help.

Being spiritually mature means asking:

• What does this person need right now?
• Is this the right moment?
• How can I bless them, not burden them?

Hospitality AND Boundaries

Church family should be warm and welcoming — no one left standing alone. Yet we also honor private conversations, family needs, and personal limits.

Love is not intrusive — it is attentive.

When Strain Appears — Don’t Give Up

Relationships in Christ are not fragile — they are resilient when love leads the way.

They bend.
They forgive.
They adjust.
They understand.
They learn.
They grow.

Strain doesn't mean something is wrong — it means something matters.

Where strain exists, grace invites us to respond like Jesus:

• Step in with compassion
• Speak with humility
• Listen deeply
• Give generously
• Honor boundaries
• Seek restoration
• Pray first, speak second

God uses relational pressure the same way He uses trials — to make us more like Him.

A Final Reflection: Your Relationship With God

Before we evaluate others, we turn upward and inward:

• Am I taking God for granted?
• Do I thank Him regularly?
• Do I only come to Him when I need something?
• Do I share my burdens with Him in prayer?
• Does He hear gratitude from my lips and see devotion in my life?

God never gives 80%.

He gives 100%, always.
He pours out love, patience, mercy, and care.
And He invites us into a relationship where we grow to reflect Him more and more.

Authentic relationships on earth start with an authentic relationship with Him.