A man is getting re-married. Is it shoddy to use the same officiant as his first wedding? Dan talks to a woman who had a blurry encounter with another woman as a very sexually repressed Christian school. Her lover called it rape the next day. It's been ten years, and in this #MeToo era, the caller wonders if she should find the woman and apologize. On the Magnum, a biseuxal woman wonders how she can reconcile being shy and also explore her sexually dominant side. Dan brings the wonderful Midori, wholeads the ForteFemme Women's Dominance Intensive. She knows her stuff, and will surely help churn out an army of joyfully dominant women. Also, Dan issues a tutorial on how to talk dirty without being vulgar. Ok Miss Manners...206-302-2064     This podcast is brought to you by . Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.         This episode of the Savage love cast is brought to you by Everlane: Luxury basic clothing and accessories, made at ethical factories without those retail markups. For free shipping, and to support the Lovecast, go to      This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at  and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

Savage Love Episode 683

Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, record your question and send it to Q@Savage.Love, or call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.

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A woman has been enjoying an insertable vibrator that can be controlled by her partner. Whee! But she worries that if she wears it out in public, it constitutes a consent violation for the unwitting baristas who don't know why her eyes are crossing all of a sudden.
On both the Micro and the Magnum, our second "What Are You Doing" features MzKim Lee- a very successful financial dominatrix. Why does she do it? How does she do it? How much does she earn? (The answer to this last question, may shock you.) 
Are you ready for a trigonometry lesson? Writer Neil McNeil wrote a long piece about poly triads- their delights and pitfalls. If you are a couple considering bringing a third person into your relationship, or you want to join an existing couple, do have a listen. 
And, a woman learned that her gal pal's husband was sighted in the bathroom...of a gay bar! Should she rat him out? 

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Savage Lovecast Episode 913

For this very special April 20th episode of Sex & Politics, Dan speaks with Republican apostate and charming podcaster Tim Miller, about the importance of voting blue (for you know who) this coming November. A second Trump presidency would just be too harsh of a toke. This is the first third of the interview. To hear the "sex " part of "Sex & Politics" in which they discuss some trouble involving a "pristine dick," subscribe to the Magnum version of the Lovecast, at Savage.Love.

Sex & Politics #29: Micro version

A woman moved into a new house and promptly slept with her roommate. It was great sex and the caller wants a repeat. He claims he wants more as well, but then never actually takes her up on it. One night she asked if he wanted to...you know...do it, and he chose to play video games for 14 hours instead. So. 
A veteran of the polyamorous lifestyle would like to push back on the idea that you can sleep with people and avoid catching feelings. It's just not a realistic rule, says this pragmatic lady. What do you think?
On the Magnum, Dan chats with Alexandra Petri- humor columnist for the Washington Post. They talk about comedy writing in these dark times, and Alexandra helps answer a question about horny fantasy titles creeping into a woman's bookclub. 
A woman is enjoying a friends-with-benefits situation with a man in an open marriage. She's beginning to fall in love with him in fact. But he and his wife are trying to get pregnant, and he has made it clear that the instant they see that pink line, he must switch to friends-only as he focuses on fatherhood. How can the caller protect her heart when she knows this relationship has an expiration date? 

How indeed? 
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Savage Lovecast Episode 912

A woman's boyfriend wants her to play with his ass. But she doesn't know where to begin. Fingers? Tongue? What should she do down there? 
A woman keeps getting harassed by men in cars jacking it and watching her creepily. What can she do in these unpleasant moments?
On the Magnum Dan chats with journalist Ben Ryan about the effects of PrEP in gay sex culture. As DAN PREDICTED, with the rise of PrEP use, HIV infections plummeted, but other STIs are on the rise. Are condoms dead? Not so fast. 
Finally, a lesbian couple are planning to have children. First one will carry the baby, then it will be the other one's turn for the second child. The mother of the woman who will carry the first baby blurted out that she was excited to be the bio grandmother. The non-bio mom-to-be was offended, and doesn't know how to let it go. When they have their second child will the grandmother love the child as much? 

Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064

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Savage Lovecast Episode 911

A gay man keeps sleeping with non-monogamous, married men, who are ultimately emotionally unavailable. But the sex is great! Why isn't he attracted to single men, hmmmm? 
Parenting challenge ahoy! A couple with a blended family are getting along well, except for one thing. The mom's 15 year-old daughter loses her mind when she hears them having sex. She bangs on the wall, and makes retching noises when they kiss or otherwise show affection. How can they (respectfully) shut this behavior down? 
On the Magnum, you'll delight in this conversation with Dr. Eric Sprankle, author of the new book, "DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation." Why are so many religions hung up on self-pleasure? Is semen retention good or bad for you? And those cute little fetuses you see on anti-abortion billboards? They're totally spanking it. 
And, hear the tale of Willy and Wendy. One wild evening, a woman and her boyfriend had their pal "Willy" over. They did some MDMA, and tumbled into bed together. Then, the texts started coming in from "Wendy," Willy's girlfriend. The caller had assumed that everything would be ok with Wendy, as they must be in an open relationship. Not so! Now, Willy has some explaining to do, and the caller feels real bad. 

Q@Savage.Love         206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 
This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com/Savage, and use the offer code Space80.
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Savage Love Episode 683

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