Self-Doubt

Sometimes the road to self-improvement can also lead us toward self-doubt. Things that we previously thought we were doing okay on, we suddenly start to think we aren’t doing well enough. This especially happens in parenting. I hear from parents all the time that they want to “say the right thing”–but there is no clear wrong and right when it comes to parenting. You are doing better than you know. 

Sometimes the road to self-improvement can also lead us towards self-doubt, things that we felt like we were doing okay on, now suddenly we feel like we're not doing well enough. This especially holds true in parenting. I get questions and emails all the time with people wondering how they should talk to their kids specifically what they should say to their kids. Now, if you're approaching unchartered territory, like the death of an animal, introducing the birds and the bees, or some other topic that you just have no idea where to start or no idea how to cover it. Then I think it's wise to seek out information and resources and friends who might have experience with these things. But what I'm seeing is this increasing trend towards getting it right and saying the right things in small, everyday interactions with our kids.

What do I say? When my kid gets upset with me? What do I say? When my kid gets left by a friend? What do I say? When my kid shows me a picture that he's really proud of? What do I say? When my kid hurts my feelings? When it comes to the social and emotional development of our kids, we so desperately want to get it right. We so want to say the right things for them to grow and thrive and be happy. We start on a path towards self-improvement, but the truth is most of these questions weren't answers that come from the heart that come from your authentic reaction. As a human, as a parent, there is no right and wrong. If your kid asks you a tough question or you come into a difficult situation and you flub it up, it'll be okay.

So that's what we're talking about today. Letting go of that self-doubt and the desire to say all the right things, to get it right every time and lean in just being ourselves and being human and being authentic with our kids. Even if that looks imperfect.

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