172: Sex, Stress, and Burnout. Understanding it All with Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.

The focus of our chat is on sex, but it’s also about relationships and stress and how our brains work. Our guest Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. shares her brilliant wisdom with us in this episode. Given the current state of the world, we are living in times of unprecedented stress, which absolutely affects how we relate to each other. I’m excited for you to hear this episode and learn more about your brain, sex and stress, especially postpartum. (FYI, sex related body parts, sex related words are used in our chat).

 Emily Nagoski is a sex educator and the author of Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex LIfe and Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Her job is to travel all over the world, training therapists, medical professionals, college students, and the general public about the science of women’s sexual wellbeing.

Show Highlights:

The dual control model of how your brain perceives and processes sex

Why you might feel judgment about your sexual response, which “hits the brakes”--not the accelerator

Why the magical six-week timeline doesn’t work for most women

How your brain responds to the physical changes that come with giving birth

The best perspective on the six-week timeline

Steps to take in the chaos:

Identify what is causing you to hit the brakes

Have non-sexual sharing and touching

Why Emily doesn’t use the term “libido”

Why sexual desire differential is the #1 reason people seek sex therapy

The secrets of sexuality in long-term relationships

Why desire does NOT come first

Why you need to identify the sex you want---and don’t want

Why “pleasure is the measure” of your sexual wellbeing

Why Emily reads her own audiobook versions

Creating the ultimate sex-positive context through kindness and compassion

The difference in confidence and joy

Resources:

Emily Nagoski

Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski

 Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski

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