back from the borderline

shame series part 7: unmet childhood needs, perfectionism, and public shaming


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Discover the insidious nature of toxic shame and its potential role as the root cause behind our ongoing suffering and emotional turmoil. At the core of self-sabotage, toxic shame leaves us feeling empty, unfulfilled, and disconnected from others. Learn how internalized toxic shame manifests uniquely in individuals, evident through feelings of unworthiness, negative self-talk, perfectionism, fear of vulnerability, struggles with intimacy, boundary challenges, chronic self-consciousness, avoidant behaviors, negative body image, and emotional instability. This episode is the seventh installment of our multi-episode series, aiming to guide you in alchemizing and transmuting your toxic shame.

 

TIME STAMPS:

 

00:00 – 13:48: The sound of toxic shame (listener voicemails)

13:16 – 42:10: Understanding your core childhood dependency needs (how unmet needs in childhood affect us as adults)

42:10 – 47:54: Abandonment through enmeshment in the overt and covert needs of a dysfunctional family system

47:54 – 59:29: Understanding internalized toxic shame and shame spirals

59:29 – 01:14:20: Toxic shame as forced perfectionism in public school systems

01:14:20 – 01:20:51: How peer shaming in childhood leads to internalized toxic shame

01:20:51 – 01:30:05: The devastating impact of digital public shaming and internet “cancel culture”


[PREMIUM]


01:30:05 – 01:36:51: Listener question from Matt (rushing the recovery process)

01:36:51 – 01:51:42: Anonymous listener question (finding self-forgiveness after a shame-inducing mistake)

01:50:47 – 02:02:34: Listener question from Caleb (how to sit with the deep pain of recovery and deal with creative blockages)

 

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.


The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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back from the borderlineBy mollie adler

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