My friend Spencer Cottle joins us to share his story as a gay Latter-day Saint.   Spencer, who grew up in Williamsburg Virginia, talks about coming out in 2018 to his bishop and parents (good experience) prior to his successful mission to Madagascar.   
 
Once home from his mission, Spencer talks about needing to face and address the realities of figuring out his future as a gay Latter-day Saint.   That led to deeply spiritual experience that Spencer shares on the podcast and feelings about his best path forward. 
 
Spencer, who sang in the BYU Choir at October General Conference, also talks about the excellent support he is receiving from parents, family and roommates. 
 
Thank you Spencer for being on the podcast.  You are a remarkable talented man with a wonderful future.  Thank you for sharing your story and helpful insights to help bring us together.    You have a great life ahead of you!

** Please Check Out My Book At: ** 

Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints 

Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

Episode 467: Spencer Cottle, Gay BYU Student

Welcome to our podcast!   

My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren.  I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
I am the author of three books: 

“Listen Learn and Love:  Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/5248297.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773) 

“Listen Learn and Love:  Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022.  The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations.  Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6003149.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)

“Listen Learn and Love:  Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023.  The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion.  Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6026921.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)

The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.  

Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016.   Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️

I am the author of two Ensign articles:

‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin

 ‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.   

This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.

Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts

Thank you for joining us.   You can't donate to this podcast.  There are no sponsors.   But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.

With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤

Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
Facebook:  facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com

Religion & Spirituality

Other

Spirituality

Christianity

Buddhism

Hinduism

Judaism

Islam

** This podcast mentions suicide.  If you are suicidal, please call/text chat 988**

Guest host Tonya Miller interviews Kyle Jones, M.D., who talks about his most recent book, “When All Hope Seems Lost: A Gospel Perspective on Mental Illness in Youth,” which will be released later this month. Kyle is a Family Practice physician who works primarily with neurodivergent individuals and their families. He is active in the Church, and he and his wife are the parents of four children.
 
Kyle shares his story of first being diagnosed with mental illness as a student, with significant worsening during his medical residency. This is the topic of his first book: “Fallible: A Memoir of a Young Physician’s Struggle with Mental Illness.” He talks about noticing mood disorder symptoms when he was a teenager, but not realizing that he was dealing with mental illness at the time. The cumulative effects of the stress he experienced as a medical student and resident led him to eventually learn that he was living with anxiety and depression, for which he still takes medication and participates in therapy. Kyle describes ways that he started to share his story with other physicians and learned that he was not as alone as he feared. From there, he has continued to develop opportunities for providing outreach and education about mental illness, especially for members of the Church. He began to realize that there are not many resources about mental illness for youth in the Church, along with ongoing myths and stigma about the relation of mental illness to the gospel, which led him to write this book.
 
Kyle describes the complexities that youth in the Church face, and ways that specific gospel principles can help them heal, even when, in some cases, there is no “cure” for what they are dealing with. He shares stories of teens who have worked though challenges with mental illness that he interviewed for his book. He also interviewed mental health professionals who work with teens and talks about some of the insights they provide. Kyle refers to what he calls the “Broken Record” messages of the gospel that can bolster youth who fear they have done something “wrong” to “cause” their mental illness. They are: 1) Jesus loves you, no matter what, 2) Mental illness is not your fault, and 3) There are people here to help.
 
I am very grateful for Kyle’s willingness to share his story and perspectives around ways that principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ can ground and empower youth if they are experiencing mental illness while simultaneously navigating the complexities of life. 
 
As a side note, I’m focusing only on sharing stories associated with the Queer-LDS experience now. However, if you would like to share your story about a different Church- or gospel-related topic on Listen, Learn and Love, please contact Tonya about the possibility of working with her as my guest-host (e-mail Tonya at tonya@cottonwood.care). 
 
Links for Kyle’s books and other resources are found below.
www.kylebradfordjones.com
Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram: @kbjones11   
Previous books: www.amazon.com/stores/Kyle-Bradford-Jones/author/B082WKSNYY?
When All Hope Seems Lost:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYCXFVB9

Episode 752: Kyle Jones, M.D., Author

My friend Jashon Ray Fabia (Age 33, single, LDS, RM, BYU-H grad in Psychology and Music, finishing Master's in Music Therapy) bravely shares his story as a queer Filipino Latter-day Saint (our first guest from the Philippines) and his new book (see show notes).
 
Jashon shares the shame he felt which continued until he came out to himself in his mid-20’s and others allowing Jashon to feel authentic and reduce/eliminate shame.   It is a brave story of working through suicidal ideation to find hope and peace.    Jashon talks about his focus on service to help other marginalized group, future projects and hopes for other queer Filipinos.
 
Jashon concludes with reconciliation with his parents including grace with family members along this journey.    Thank you, Jashon, for being on the podcast, writing your book, and sharing your story to give hope to others.   You are a good man doing much healing in our world.   Glad to have you on the podcast.
 
Links:
 
Jashon’s book:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/1948218917
 
Facebook Group to Support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

Episode 751: Jashon Fabia, Author: “Swirling in the Eddy: LDS, Filipino, & Gay”

**This episode talks about suicide.  If you are suicidal, please call/text/chat *988**
 
My friend Erik Thompson (Age 40, single, active LDS, RM) bravely shares his story with a heart full of desire to give others hope.   Erik vulnerable and bravely talks about:
 
Being a survivor of sexual abuse at age 13.
Spiritual OCD (Scrupulosity).
Porn and masturbation.
Coming home from his mission (after a suicide attempt) at 9 months.
Need for love and belonging.
Becoming sexually active—in unsafe situations—drug use—and more suicidal ideation.
Healing words from a senior Church leader including the “Savior is thrilled with you” and returning to Church activity.
You are here to love.
Upcoming NorthStar Conference.
 
Erik can authentically teach the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ to heal us from pain and to help us repent because Erik has the courage to share his story—helping us all understand that we too can find hope in our story—even the most difficult times of our lives.   Part of Erik’s story is on the Church’s YouTube channel (see show notes).
 
Thank you, Erik, for being on the podcast.   You are one of my new heroes.   Your story will help so many.   You are a good man.
 
Links:
 
Erik’s Church YouTube:  youtu.be/7avoFnympIg?si=vEBk7_YX709HGqfM
 
NorthStar Conference:  allevents.in/salt%20lake%20city/2024-north-star-conference/10000761893222137
 
Erik’s e-mail:  erikguy@gmail.com
 
Erik’s cell:  202-595-4747
 
TikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@etpiano83?_t=8lNeC55a9hC&_r=1
 
Scrupulosity Podcasts:  listenlearnandlove.org/depression-mental-illness-podcasts
 
Richard Ostler Free Chapter Links:
 
Ending Porn Use:  www.dropbox.com/s/w2ex40l4se85wku/Chapter%204%20Ending%20Pornography%20Use.%20%20Listen%20Learn%20and%20Love%2C%20Improving%20Latter-day%20Saint%20Culture.pdf?dl=0
 
Hope Filled Repentance:  www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/1lo38ejspdzwfxngaaotm/Chapter-5-Hope-Filled-Repentance.-Listen-Learn-and-Love-Improving-Lattter-day-Saint-Culture.pdf?rlkey=18kd8tqtmls60b14y7ilc1f2i&dl=0
 
Overcoming Scrupulosity:  www.dropbox.com/s/i314vw5im0khzia/Chapter%207%20Overcoming%20Scrupulosity%20%28Religious%20ODC%29.pdf?dl=0

Episode 750:  Erik Thompson, Gay Latter-day Saint,  Overcoming Addiction,  Finding Hope in Christ

My friends Cameo and Cooper Johnson (LDS parents of 4 children, live in Flagstaff AZ, Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioners) join us to share their story from the perspective of both LDS parents of a queer daughter (RM, engaged to another RM woman) and their professional work specializing in supporting LDS LGBTQ individuals and families.   In the episode, the Johnsons bring unique and helpful perspectives from their experience as parents and also work as mental health practitioners that help all of us.  
 
Some of the topics covered by the Johnsons include:
 
1.  Why they are excited and supportive of their daughter’s same-sex marriage.
2.  Why they stay members of the Church.
3.  What gives them hope and peace for their “eternal family”.
4.  What gives them hope for the future of the Church.
5.  The difference between core values and core beliefs.
6.  How to better see and support families who fit “outside of the idealized version”.
7.  The parable of the Good Samaritan.
8.  How personal growth often occurs “when we look inward and check ourselves.”
 
This is one of the best podcasts we’ve done as the Johnsons bring their clinical experience and parental experience to help us better love and support our queer family members and friends.  I encourage you to listen to this episode and share it with others.  
 
Thank you, Cameo and Cooper Johnson, for being on the podcast and your work to help bring us together as the same human family.  Honored to have you on the podcast!
 
Links:
 
Cameo Johnson, PMHNP
Ponderosa Psychiatry
https://www.ponderosapsychiatry.com/
info@ponderosapsychiatry.com
Psychology Today Profile: https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/737606
 
Cooper Johnson, PMHNP
Advanced Mental Health and Wellness
https://advancedmhw.com/
support@advancedmhw.com
Psychology Today Profile: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/psychiatrists/advanced-mental-health-wellness-williams-az/441627

Episode 749: Cameo & Cooper Johnson, LDS Parents of a Queer Daughter

My friend Nate Miller (grew up in Davis County, lives in Salt Lake County, Philippines RM, U of U graduation, no longer attending church) joins us to share his story.   Nate starts with reading a powerful journal entry/letter during his mission that shares his journey (since age 6) of navigating being different and eventually realizing he is gay.   

Nate is so vulnerable, honest—with a gift of words to share his journey.  I was so moved with Nate’s courage to be so honest—which helps us better understand what it is like to be alone figuring out one’s sexual orientation—and gives us insights what we can do to improve our culture to better support our queer friends.
 
Nate talks about finding hope about his future and his family’s unconditional love and support.   Nate also talks about advice he would give to his younger self “who was listening five years ago”.    
 
Like many of our episodes, I continue to be moved by brave people willing to share their stories out of love to help others find hope in their lives.   I was also moved by Nate’s family and their words of unconditional love and support—this is a beautiful family love story. 
 
This is also a good podcast on principles to keep the family circle together and strong when a family member steps away from the church.
 
Thank you, Nate, for your courage to be on the podcast.  You are a good man—your story will help so many.   You have a great life ahead of you.   All my love and respect to you and the Miller family.

Links:  Facebook Group to Support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints:  www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

Nate Miler on Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/nate.miller.129142

Nate Miller on Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/itsnertme/

Episode 467: Spencer Cottle, Gay BYU Student

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