Starting Over After A Breakup

Amira de Vera joins Jess on the podcast this week to share her experience after a breakup with a long term partner at the age of 34. They discuss how she went from lying on the floor crying to feeling happier than ever. Amira opens up to discuss:

Overcoming the fear of starting over in your 30s

How to identify what you really want in a partner and relationship

Multiple approaches to getting over a tough breakup

The importance of sitting in the pain and using pain to heal

How to shift from focusing on others to focusing on yourself

Getting over the idea that you must hit specific milestones by a specific age

Breaking free of negative spirals

Amira’s path to self-love

The role of journaling, therapy, nature, friends, and creativity in healing

The fallacy of someone “completing” you

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Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Starting Over After A Breakup

00:00:05 - 00:05:20

You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess, podcast sacks, and relationship advice you can use tonight. Pay Hey just a rally here your friendly neighborhood sexologist and I'm flying solo today without brandon but I will have a guest joining me in just a moment to share her story Amirah is going to talk to us about her recent break-up and her story is real and raw and really inspirational and interestingly I think what she has to tell us really aligns with what the research says about getting over a breakup and I also want. To answer a question related to this topic that somebody sent in about an extra cheated on them. But before I do a shadow to Provo care a brand I'm partnering with four pro. V. Talks on instagram be sure to follow them because their product uses probiotics to treat and prevent yeast and bacterial infections, and they're also working to create content and really community around overall sexual health vaginal health all that good stuff they are by Provo care. On instagram and you can find them in my profile as well in the show notes so. You know I'm excited to talk to Amira. But I I want to answer this question about how to get over an axe. Who Cheated, and you know this is a question that I get often because I think that you know cheating sexual infidelity, whatever you call it is is more common than we realize that the data puts it in the range of twenty, four percent. So about a quarter of all relationships, but that data only reflects people who are willing to admit to it. So the reality is. You know many of us have cheated and we want to admit it to ourselves. We've kind of told ourselves the story that we've erased that and people certainly move on after cheating either with the same partner with a new partner and so what I'd say to this person who who sent me this message is that first and foremost really give yourself permission. To feel. Sad or mad or scared, or insecure, ensure,