Stop Calling Your Kid "Defiant"

The biggest issue with “defiant” kids is our use of the word “defiant.” After all, labeling our children as “defiant” puts us in the mindset of seeing our child as the problem: They don’t listen! They’re purposely disobeying the rules! They always push back! In this week’s episode, Dr. Becky offers a total reframe: Defiance is actually a child’s struggle to regulate an urge *and* feel seen. Now, don’t worry—this doesn’t lead to taking an anything-goes, permissive approach. Dr. Becky shares practical strategies to put this framework into action, so you can show up as a sturdy leader, stay connected to your kid, and help your child build skills to reduce problematic behavior over time. Sounds like a total win, right? It is.

Join Good Inside Membership: https://bit.ly/3cqgG2A

Follow Dr. Becky on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside

Sign up for our weekly email, Good Insider: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter

Order Dr. Becky's book, Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, at goodinside.com/book or wherever you order your books.

For a full transcript of the episode, go to goodinside.com/podcast