162: Supporting children through grief with Katie Lear

This episode builds on our conversation with Dr. Atle Dyregrov on the topic of talking with children about death, where we focused mainly on death as a general concept and navigating the first few days after the death. Grief therapist Katie Lear has a new book called A Parent's Guide to Managing Childhood Grief and focuses on the much longer period of mourning that follows the death of someone close to a child.

We look at:

The four 'tasks' of mourning that most people (including children) move through

Activities we can do in each task to help children navigate their feelings effectively

long the process usually takes

Signs that a child is engaged in 'complicated grief' and needs more support

Where and how to find that support

Resources mentioned in the show

Katie's website

The book A Parent's Guide to Managing Childhood Grief

Selma Fraiberg's book The Magic Years: Understanding and Handling the Problems of Early Childhood

The Dougy Center(resources and referrals to grief therapists)

Books Katie recommends for reading with young children

When Dinosaurs Die

Ida Always

The Endless Story

The Dead Bird

Goodbye Mousie

Jump to highlights

(03:13) Important topics in Katie Lear’s book, A Parent's Guide to Managing Childhood Grief

(04:43) Understanding what grief looks like in children and in adult

(07:38) The four tasks that children need to work through during the grieving process

(11:39) Useful activities in supporting children in the first stages of grief

(14:03) Katie recommends picture books about death that are written in a way that children can understand and that help normalize the feelings associated with the grieving process

(15:49) Should we tell our children the truth about a parent's death?

(17:45) Feelings a child experiences when someone close to them dies

(18:54) How does displaying a parent's grief to their child affect their behavior

(21:24) Understanding our child’s commotion or acting out when they’re in the grieving process

(24:11) What is Magical Thinking and how it’s connected to a child’s development

(29:16) How Magical Thinking works in adults who are grieving

(30:24) What is the environment like for children who are adjusting after a loved one has gone

(32:01) Family bonding activities...