Surrender to What Is | Date Your Wife | EP 059

During their flight back to Orange County after an amazing Valentine’s Day get-away weekend in Cabo San Lucas, the Whites suddenly find themselves headed back to Cabo for an emergency landing. While other passengers are scrambling, angry, and upset, Garrett and Danielle get to work creating new possibilities in the midst of the chaos of their current situation. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: Arguing With Reality Garrett and Danielle watched as men and women became panicked and angry about the flight. Armed with their demands and frustrations, fellow passengers stormed up the escalator to the Alaskan check-in desk scrambling to be the first in line to yell at the girl behind the counter. Garrett: I spent most of my entire life freaking out about shit that I couldn’t control, trying to force things to be different than they actually were. Although I still do this, it’s significantly less than I’ve ever done it before. QUESTION How do you handle the unexpected? Point #2: The Ocean Always Wins As you look at reality, it is what it is. During Garrett’s first week of surfing as he was trying to fight the waves, his coach turned to him and said, “The ocean always wins.” “You cannot control the ocean, you cannot control the water, and you can’t out hustle the waves. The only thing you can do is deal with whatever the ocean is giving you”. QUESTION How can you relate this to situations in your life? Point #3: Change Your State It’s Danielle’s belief that women tend to cause a lot of unneeded stress in their lives, which not only affects them but ends up spilling over into the lives of their spouse and children. Danielle: The more you learn how to change your state, the faster you can do it. Ask yourself: What is the lesson? What is the direction I am supposed to be going? When you look at things with that perspective, so many things start to open up for you. QUESTION What can you begin doing to change your state of being before things get out of hand? Point #4: The Crazy Game of Marriage Garrett: Marriage is crazy. You have two individuals who are evolving human beings; two people who are challenging the way they think, challenging the way they believe, challenging the way they conceive marriage. All of these are constantly moving. We want things to constantly evolve and change because we demand variety in our lives yet on the flip side, we get completely pissed off about the fact that things are constantly evolving and changing. QUESTION What is your experience with this as a couple? Point #5: Let Go & Be Open Garrett: I operated most of my life trying to force things. This situation at the Cabo airport would have been something a number of years ago I would have lost my mind over. Now, it’s almost as if the Universe has orchestrated this just for me. Danielle: Whether it happens on purpose or not, you can’t fight what is so you might as well enjoy where you’re at and see what opens up while being in that space. QUESTION Where in your world have you seen a shift as you have begun letting go? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation about the things that drive you crazy about each other yet have turned out to be the other’s greatest strengths and assets. Date Night Topic: On your Date Night this week, talk about the Crossroads and Turning Points in your relationship. Quote of the Week: “What I’ve come to realize is, everything I’ve wanted Danielle to change has become her greatest asset. Her greatest strengths have become the things that drive me fucking nuts.” —Garrett J White “There’s a lot of power in letting go. As you let go, it allows you to live life to the fullest. There’s a difference between disconnecting and letting go. In letting go, you’re still there but you’re letting go of the forcing of whatever you’re trying to do.” —Danielle K White