The Save The Marriage Podcast

Switches or Dials?

07.14.2021 - By Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.Play

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No, this isn't some electrical engineering idea. Instead, it has more to do with human nature.

We often want to find the switch, the on/off switch for some situation. Turn off stress by doing this, turn on fitness by doing this. On or off. With a switch.

This causes us to be looking for some super-easy, simple solution... often to complex issues. Particularly when it is a marriage crisis.

A marriage -- much less a marriage crisis -- is not an on/off situation, and no simple switch will turn it around.

Yet that is what many people want. The solution that is as easy as flipping a switch.

Yes, your marriage can be saved and improved, but not with some simple switch.  Instead, think about it as dials. Instead of a master switch, there can be a number of dials. Dialing up connection. Dialing down conflict. Dialing up warmth. Dialing down resentment.

We discuss this tendency to look for a switch -- and the need to focus on the dials --  in this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast.

Listen below.

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