The Bitch Bible

By Dear Media, Jackie Schimmel

What's The Bitch Bible about?

A podcast that dares to say what many are thinking, but only a bitch would say. Expect unfiltered and unapologetic discussions about sex, millennial struggles, pop culture, social faux-pas and hopefully, an insightful takeaway. Nothing is off limits.

Hosted by Jackie Schimmel, creator of blog “The Bitch Bible," and your soon-to-be bitchy (and super neurotic) best friend.

4.6

10,977 ratings

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LAST EPISODE

Golden Shower

05.04.2021

Jackie talks about her traumatic golden shower experience, books a trip on the Goop cruiseline and discusses "Kravis" hype and anal sex. Produced by Dear Media

The Bitch Bible episodes:

05.04.2021 Golden Shower Jackie talks about her traumatic golden shower experience, books a trip on the Goop cruiseline and discusses "Kravis" hype and anal sex. Produced by Dear Media
04.27.2021 Carafe of Tears Jackie discusses her emotional reprieve techniques, the peaches makeup challenge, Real Housewives Allstars and the time she got bamboozled into buying a carafe. Produced by Dear Media
04.20.2021 The Big Unchill Jackie discusses Colton Underwood and the "poophole loophole", wine tasting, lots of other things she can't really remember and why Demi Lovato should stick to sorbet. Produced by Dear Media
04.13.2021 $6.66 Jackie gets baptized after a demonic bowl of poke, discussed the highly anticipated sequel to "Frankly, Anne" and offers free public relation guidance to Rachel Hollis and Khloe Kardashian. Produced by Dear Media
04.06.2021 Mind. Body. No Soul. Jackie discusses her new podcast venture, her demon possession, self defense tactics and her emotional experience with Billie Eillish. Produced By Dear Media
03.30.2021 "Do Better." Jackie recaps Passover, inconsistencies with celebrities and their social issues and her journey with health and wellness. Produced By Dear Media
03.23.2021 Oral High Ground Jackie has a dental emergency, explores her toxic relationship with Costco, gives Emrata some words of discouragement and probably gets disinvited from future dinner parties. Produced By Dear Media
03.16.2021 Me Against The Music Jackie deals with her Grammy nomination snub, why some funerals feel like low budge Coachella and delights with some new poetry she penned after a few cocktails of despair. Produced By Dear Media
03.09.2021 Psycho For Sport! Jackie has a tryst with John Mayer, talks Megan and Harry and recaps some of her psychotic behavior all in the spirit of International Women's Day! Produced By Dear Media
03.02.2021 Live From the Dead Carpet. Jackie becomes unglued while watching red carpet coverage, teaches you how to make a roast chicken and slaps an innocent samaritan at a local strip mall. Produced By Dear Media
02.23.2021 Call Me Brenda. Jackie has awkward run in with new neighbor who thinks her name is Brenda, tries to summon Lucifer to haunt her future home and pays homage to Heather Gay, side parts and white dudes with tequila brands. Produced By Dear ...
02.16.2021 Bitching in Hell Jackie is joined by Hannah Berner to discuss a myriad of things that will ultimately get them the presidential suite whilst burning in the depths of hell. Produced By Dear Media
02.09.2021 6 FUCKING YEARS. Jackie reminisces on her 6 year anniversary of the podcast and tells the fucked up slash dark "fairytale" of how it all began. Produced By Dear Media
02.02.2021 Excusez Moi! Jackie talks about bringing Grandma Gloria to "Paris" and how she nearly died over steak frites, why Andrew and her almost divorced and what to do when you catch your significant other watching porn!
01.26.2021 "C*nts Are The New Bitches" Jackie chats with best friend Max about the evolution of the bitch, breaks down ZERO celebrity gossip (boring) and talks about her disdain for sports.
01.19.2021 Edible Derangement Jackie confesses to some morally and legally flexible activity, endures a pregnancy scare, gives her top AmaZon PiCks and why Alec and Hilaria need to send Armie a gift ASAP.
01.14.2021 Tan and Grainy Jackie discusses her alter ego "Jacquie", why Armie Hammer should get a job at Benihana and how to stat the new year on a shamanic diet.
01.05.2021 Woof Woof Bitch Jackie deals with Andrew's infidelity, recaps her first meltdown of 2021, preaches new communication skills and pays homage to all the hard passes and fat yups of the past year.
12.29.2020 Holidazed and Confused Jackie chats with best friend Max, explores new wellness trends, recaps her new popstar success and debriefs on all things Real Housewives.
12.23.2020 Hoe Hoe Hoe with Heather McMahan Jackie chats with good friend Heather McMahan to purge their souls pre-Holiday festivities and find eternal optimism in unlikely places.
12.15.2020 Fight, Flight or Flounder Jackie gives updates on her Coronavirus quarantine life, what to do when you make eye contact with a stranger whilst going to the bathroom, Real Housewives updates and her new hit single "BITCH" dropping 12/18/20.
12.08.2020 Boulevard of Broken Porcelain Jackie goes off the rails as Covid 19 has infiltrated her home and she questions everything she thought she knew about embellished bodysuits, prosthetic arms and her bowel movements. Produced By Dear Media
12.01.2020 Teflon Tits Jackie recaps her Thanksgiving, her impending pop star career, why she is blacklisted from her local Trader Joe's and offers some words of optimism courtesy of Helen Keller. Checkout exclusive Bitch Bible Merch Below! URL: Shop.dearmedia.com/bitchbible Discount Code: BBPOD15 for ...
11.24.2020 GrATeFuL Jackie recaps her time at "rehab', shopping addiction, pretty girl privelege (barf), having sex with ghosts and why adult gift exchanges give her hives. Happy Thanksgiving! Checkout exclusive Bitch Bible Merch Below! URL: Shop.dearmedia.com/bitchbible Discount Code: BBPOD15 for 15% off ...
11.17.2020 Gratitude Adjustment Jackie grapples with the customs of Thanksgiving, shares tips and tricks for holiday time psychological warfare and why pre-sliced cheese triggers her.
11.10.2020 Delusional, Dangerous and Dorky. Jackie talks about the election, her high school catfish experience, a brief Covid scare, why you should never call yourself a "bookworm" and how to handle a peeping Tom. Produced By Dear Media
11.03.2020 Pillar of the Community Jackie pays homage to Sean Connery, talks home decor, braces herself for pregnancy and preaches a "pillar" lifestyle.
10.27.2020 RIP BITCH. Jackie discusses her funeral arrangements, the fraudulence of manifesting. Emrata and why she can't wait to go to a Benihana. Produced By Dear Media
10.20.2020 Bottom of the Barrel Jackie discusses her burgeoning music career, neighborly updates, why cranberries trigger her and why she won't be asked to wear matching outfits with Kourtney Kardashian and Addison Rae.
10.13.2020 The Velcro Vagina Jackie accidentally super glues her vagina shut, recaps "Emily in Paris", criticizes Halloween decor and toxic positivity.
10.06.2020 Bitch in Bulk. Jackie chats with best friend Max Bronner about Costco, Helen Keller's new career move and discusses her struggle with OCD.
09.29.2020 White Lexus Lyfe Jackie talks about men who drive white Lexus's, atones for her sins, recaps Real Housewives of Potomac and how to live a lie on Instagram! Produced By Dear Media
09.22.2020 You Only Die Once Jackie sits down with friend Liza Owen to discuss a new murder plan, their current poltergeist situation and how to find your Cambodian nickname.
09.15.2020 Are Balls Webbed? Jackie enters another dangerous stream of consciousness after learning about her astrological chart. She discusses the atrocity of gender reveals, Chris Evans penis, and her new found wellness journey with an unexpected cameo from husband Andrew live from the doghouse!
09.09.2020 Content is Life. Jackie is joined by Kate Kennedy from "Be There in Five" to talk about the podcasting world, bridezillas and the cringe fest of "content lyfe".
09.01.2020 Digital Darwinism Jackie talks about her first nude photoshoot experience, catches up with her best friend Max, pays homage to Dorinda Medley and the Hough's.
08.25.2020 Monster Masterclass Jackie goes back to basics and teaches a masterclass on leading with your inner psycho. She fine tunes her betrayal course of action plan and recounts the time her husband c*ck blocked her from Harry Styles. Produced By Dear Media
08.21.2020 Thirty, Dirty and Gagging Jackie celebrates her 30th birthday, instills some misguided life lessons, talks Brandi and Denise, WAP and how to live your best CAPS LOCK LIFE. Produced By Dear Media
08.11.2020 Call Us Daddy Jackie sits down with Alex Cooper from the "Call Her Daddy" podcast to talk about her public media crisis, psychological warfare, friend break ups, plus dating tips and sex life. Produced By Dear Media
08.04.2020 Betty Ford or Bust! Jackie recaps her first wine tasting experience, the brillo pad erupting from her scalp and all the latest Real Housewives drama,
07.29.2020 I Run With A Fabulous Circle of People Jackie is joined by RHONY alum Jill Zarin and Ally Shapiro to reminisce on simpler times and kibbitz about Bat Mitzvahs and why you should cancel your wedding! Produced By Dear Media
07.21.2020 Mindless > Mindful Jackie dissects Julianne Hough's morning routine and preaches the benefits of mindlessness. She also answers listener questions!
07.14.2020 Entanglements and Puka Shells Jackie does a deep pop culture dive on all things Jada Pinkett and Will Smith, Katy Perry, Britney Spears, RHONY, Betty Broderick and Ghislaine Maxwell. Produced By Dear Media
07.07.2020 No Rona No Problems Jackie has a brush with Covid 19, talks Kanye West's potential presidency and reminisces on vintage Real Housewives of Orange County.
06.30.2020 Stars Are Blind Jackie calls Grandma Gloria to talk about her new found stardom, Britney Spears and why you shouldn't verbally assault family members at a drive thru! Produced By Dear Media
06.23.2020 Silver Linings (feat. Grandma Gloria) Jackie talks about her first day out of lockdown, TikTok voice, debuts Grandma Gloria's first dance single and how you can get an STD for $4,500 in Vegas. Produced By Dear Media
06.17.2020 All Aboard the J-Train Jackie podcasts with Jared Fried to discuss relationships, charcuterie and podcast LYFE. Produced By Dear Media
06.09.2020 Steel Magnolia Jackie chats Alicia SIlverstone, her husband's rising aesthetic, menstrual cycles and being ghosted by a Real Housewife. Produced By Dear Media
06.08.2020 Forward Pedaling and Thinking Jackie has an uncomfortable and honest conversation about white privilege and self awareness. Produced By Dear Media
06.05.2020 Shit's Real Jackie talks about the scary state of the world, pays homage to the Real Housewives, discusses social credit systems and delights us with a Gloria vocal performance. Produced By Dear Media

Older episodes

The Bitch Bible

What's The Bitch Bible about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

The Bitch Bible episodes:

Golden Shower

Carafe of Tears

The Big Unchill

$6.66

Mind. Body. No Soul.

"Do Better."

Oral High Ground

Me Against The Music

Psycho For Sport!

Live From the Dead Carpet.

Call Me Brenda.

Bitching in Hell

6 FUCKING YEARS.

Excusez Moi!

"C*nts Are The New Bitches"

Edible Derangement

Tan and Grainy

Woof Woof Bitch

Holidazed and Confused

Hoe Hoe Hoe with Heather McMahan

Fight, Flight or Flounder

Boulevard of Broken Porcelain

Teflon Tits

GrATeFuL

Gratitude Adjustment

Delusional, Dangerous and Dorky.

Pillar of the Community

RIP BITCH.

Bottom of the Barrel

The Velcro Vagina

Bitch in Bulk.

White Lexus Lyfe

You Only Die Once

Are Balls Webbed?

Content is Life.

Digital Darwinism

Monster Masterclass

Thirty, Dirty and Gagging

Call Us Daddy

Betty Ford or Bust!

I Run With A Fabulous Circle of People

Mindless > Mindful

Entanglements and Puka Shells

No Rona No Problems

Stars Are Blind

Silver Linings (feat. Grandma Gloria)

All Aboard the J-Train

Steel Magnolia

Forward Pedaling and Thinking

Shit's Real

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