The Bitch Bible

By Dear Media, Jackie Schimmel

Society & Culture Comedy

What's The Bitch Bible about?

A podcast that dares to say what many are thinking, but only a bitch would say. Expect unfiltered and unapologetic discussions about sex, millennial struggles, pop culture, social faux-pas and hopefully, an insightful takeaway. Nothing is off limits.

Hosted by Jackie Schimmel, creator of blog “The Bitch Bible," and your soon-to-be bitchy (and super neurotic) best friend.

4.6

10,977 ratings

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LAST EPISODE

Giddy Up

10.19.2021

Jackie heads to the Kentucky Derby after being bullied on social media and called horse face. She also accidentally gets her husband cancelled, recaps housewives and dissects Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly's love language. Produced By Dear Media

The Bitch Bible episodes:

10.19.2021 Giddy Up Jackie heads to the Kentucky Derby after being bullied on social media and called horse face. She also accidentally gets her husband cancelled, recaps housewives and dissects Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly's love language. Produced By Dear Media
10.12.2021 Average Fashion Blogger and a Mediocre Podcaster Jackie practices unlicensed therapy on the legend behind @averagefashionblogger Courtney Parchman! They discuss losing their virginity, their deep history and why light hearted bullying builds character. Produced by Dear Media
10.05.2021 Goodbye Courtney. Jackie tries to stay positive during a difficult time in her podcasting career and ultimately decides to take a sabbatical. SHe also discusses Halloween, Chrissy Teigen and the time she used Faceapp. We had a good run! Produced By Dear ...
09.29.2021 LIMBITLESS. Jackie wakes up at 5am on God's Day and develops a new off broadway production that could get Cheryl a Tony award! She also discusses self care, constipation tips and tricks and a bunch of other stuff I don't really ...
09.22.2021 Body Fluids Jackie is back from Sin City and talks about her trip, Met Gala looks, Andrew's latest home renovation mishap and why tears are her body fluid of choice! Produced by Dear Media
09.14.2021 Forces of Hate-ure Jackie shares a secret about her marriage, has a mid recording earthquake. discusses the Hough siblings, the Met Ball, housewives and I literally can't remember what else because I blacked out from rage. Produced by Dear Media
09.09.2021 Shana Tova Motherf*ckers It's the Jewish New Year and true to form, Jackie has no resolutions. We deep dive Real Housewives, go over some dinner party hacks and pay homage to our guiding light Beverley Mitchell. Produced By Dear Media
09.02.2021 SEND THE PARAMEDICS AND A PR REP. Jackie enters a dangerously exposing spiral of reality by playing a song she pitched to Andrew, dissecting Demi Lovato, DONDA, modern feminism and other politically incorrect topics. This episode is dedicated to Maureen from Center Stage. Produced by Dear Media
08.26.2021 There Will Be Blood Jackie does a menstrual art exhibition in France, gives solo travel tips and delights audience with some verbal abuse for her live studio audience aka her husband Andrew. Produced by Dear Media
08.17.2021 Leaving the Cuntry! It's Jackie's birthday, she has fled the country and left many questionably offensive opinions and hot takes on the mainland. From One Tree Hill, Housewives and some demanding instructions for her dog Leo's 8th birthday... apologies in advance. Bonsoir. Produced ...
08.10.2021 The Worst Episode Ever Jackie hits rock bottom and resorts to a Vogue inspired 73 question episode that will prolapse your butthole. Apologies to Anna Kendrick and Michael Buble. Produced By Dear Media
08.04.2021 Caulk Tease Jackie endures a cheating scandal, finds love at the Home Depot, seeks justice for Sarah Jessica Parker and makes her own asshole clench with next level cringiness. Produced By Dear Media
07.28.2021 Spectrumella Jackie enters a 48 hour solitary confinement sans cable and internet and explores the intricacies of her fucked up brain. Kanye, Bennifer, bird extinction and some fucker named Ron. Produced by Dear Media
07.23.2021 Leo Season Jackie embraces Leo season balls deep with a trip to Mexico, an impromptu astrology guide, contact with her new neighbors and a cheap mascara theory. Produced By Dear Media
07.14.2021 ALLEGEDLY Jackie discusses her new wellness journey for Leo season, makes a bold case in support of Ramona Singer and remind everyone that Tila Tequila is a nazi... allegedly. Produced By Dear Media
07.10.2021 Life in Limb-o Jackie discusses her parting gift to the neighborhood, her new house, deep dives Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and answers listener questions! Produced by Dear Media
06.29.2021 Please Send Horse Tranquilizers Jackie is back restless and guestless and is in the mood to go off the fucking rails. She discusses #freebritney, talks shit about influencer families and her impending cancellation. Produced By Dear Media
06.22.2021 Cue the Human Resources Dept. Jackie showcases true job security by having a year in review catch-up with Lauryn and Michael Bosstick. They discuss the vow of silence, “cancel culture”, housewives legal woes and more. Produced By Dear Media
06.15.2021 Pardon The DocATot. Jackie and friend Amanda Hirscho from podcast "Not Skinny But Not Fat" do a Emrata deep dive and kibbitz over pop culture bullshit. Produced By Dear Media
06.08.2021 Cue The Rainbow! Jackie is back in studio for the first time in a year and a half whilst testing HR policies and prank calling listeners. She gives financial advice (yikes), sells her husbands semen and changes one listeners life. Not really. Produced ...
06.01.2021 Nancy Meyers Could Never Jackie recites new poetry inspired by former neighbor Cheryl, has a driveby exorcism in Camarillo, recaps RHOBH and discusses her impending MOVE. Produced by Dear Media
05.27.2021 MahaLow Point. Jackie is bacl from hawaii and cloaked in shame. She apologizes for her cringey social media content, breaks down the Bennifer reboot and probably gets herself cancelled... again. Produced by Dear Media
05.18.2021 Wanderlust, Sparkles and Braille Buttholes Jackie gets her sphincter lasered, creates a fake Instagram for her husband and has the harsh realization that she may never see Cheryl again. Produced By Dear Media
05.13.2021 Bare Minimum with Heather McMahan and Jennifer Aniston! Jackie is unraveling live from Atlanta amidst a girls trip with friends Heather McMahan and new field producer Jennifer Garner! Produced By Dear Media
05.04.2021 Golden Shower Jackie talks about her traumatic golden shower experience, books a trip on the Goop cruiseline and discusses "Kravis" hype and anal sex. Produced by Dear Media
04.27.2021 Carafe of Tears Jackie discusses her emotional reprieve techniques, the peaches makeup challenge, Real Housewives Allstars and the time she got bamboozled into buying a carafe. Produced by Dear Media
04.20.2021 The Big Unchill Jackie discusses Colton Underwood and the "poophole loophole", wine tasting, lots of other things she can't really remember and why Demi Lovato should stick to sorbet. Produced by Dear Media
04.13.2021 $6.66 Jackie gets baptized after a demonic bowl of poke, discussed the highly anticipated sequel to "Frankly, Anne" and offers free public relation guidance to Rachel Hollis and Khloe Kardashian. Produced by Dear Media
04.06.2021 Mind. Body. No Soul. Jackie discusses her new podcast venture, her demon possession, self defense tactics and her emotional experience with Billie Eillish. Produced By Dear Media
03.30.2021 "Do Better." Jackie recaps Passover, inconsistencies with celebrities and their social issues and her journey with health and wellness. Produced By Dear Media
03.23.2021 Oral High Ground Jackie has a dental emergency, explores her toxic relationship with Costco, gives Emrata some words of discouragement and probably gets disinvited from future dinner parties. Produced By Dear Media
03.16.2021 Me Against The Music Jackie deals with her Grammy nomination snub, why some funerals feel like low budge Coachella and delights with some new poetry she penned after a few cocktails of despair. Produced By Dear Media
03.09.2021 Psycho For Sport! Jackie has a tryst with John Mayer, talks Megan and Harry and recaps some of her psychotic behavior all in the spirit of International Women's Day! Produced By Dear Media
03.02.2021 Live From the Dead Carpet. Jackie becomes unglued while watching red carpet coverage, teaches you how to make a roast chicken and slaps an innocent samaritan at a local strip mall. Produced By Dear Media
02.23.2021 Call Me Brenda. Jackie has awkward run in with new neighbor who thinks her name is Brenda, tries to summon Lucifer to haunt her future home and pays homage to Heather Gay, side parts and white dudes with tequila brands. Produced By Dear ...
02.16.2021 Bitching in Hell Jackie is joined by Hannah Berner to discuss a myriad of things that will ultimately get them the presidential suite whilst burning in the depths of hell. Produced By Dear Media
02.09.2021 6 FUCKING YEARS. Jackie reminisces on her 6 year anniversary of the podcast and tells the fucked up slash dark "fairytale" of how it all began. Produced By Dear Media
02.02.2021 Excusez Moi! Jackie talks about bringing Grandma Gloria to "Paris" and how she nearly died over steak frites, why Andrew and her almost divorced and what to do when you catch your significant other watching porn!
01.26.2021 "C*nts Are The New Bitches" Jackie chats with best friend Max about the evolution of the bitch, breaks down ZERO celebrity gossip (boring) and talks about her disdain for sports.
01.19.2021 Edible Derangement Jackie confesses to some morally and legally flexible activity, endures a pregnancy scare, gives her top AmaZon PiCks and why Alec and Hilaria need to send Armie a gift ASAP.
01.14.2021 Tan and Grainy Jackie discusses her alter ego "Jacquie", why Armie Hammer should get a job at Benihana and how to stat the new year on a shamanic diet.
01.05.2021 Woof Woof Bitch Jackie deals with Andrew's infidelity, recaps her first meltdown of 2021, preaches new communication skills and pays homage to all the hard passes and fat yups of the past year.
12.29.2020 Holidazed and Confused Jackie chats with best friend Max, explores new wellness trends, recaps her new popstar success and debriefs on all things Real Housewives.
12.23.2020 Hoe Hoe Hoe with Heather McMahan Jackie chats with good friend Heather McMahan to purge their souls pre-Holiday festivities and find eternal optimism in unlikely places.
12.15.2020 Fight, Flight or Flounder Jackie gives updates on her Coronavirus quarantine life, what to do when you make eye contact with a stranger whilst going to the bathroom, Real Housewives updates and her new hit single "BITCH" dropping 12/18/20.
12.08.2020 Boulevard of Broken Porcelain Jackie goes off the rails as Covid 19 has infiltrated her home and she questions everything she thought she knew about embellished bodysuits, prosthetic arms and her bowel movements. Produced By Dear Media
12.01.2020 Teflon Tits Jackie recaps her Thanksgiving, her impending pop star career, why she is blacklisted from her local Trader Joe's and offers some words of optimism courtesy of Helen Keller. Checkout exclusive Bitch Bible Merch Below! URL: Shop.dearmedia.com/bitchbible Discount Code: BBPOD15 for ...
11.24.2020 GrATeFuL Jackie recaps her time at "rehab', shopping addiction, pretty girl privelege (barf), having sex with ghosts and why adult gift exchanges give her hives. Happy Thanksgiving! Checkout exclusive Bitch Bible Merch Below! URL: Shop.dearmedia.com/bitchbible Discount Code: BBPOD15 for 15% off ...
11.17.2020 Gratitude Adjustment Jackie grapples with the customs of Thanksgiving, shares tips and tricks for holiday time psychological warfare and why pre-sliced cheese triggers her.
11.10.2020 Delusional, Dangerous and Dorky. Jackie talks about the election, her high school catfish experience, a brief Covid scare, why you should never call yourself a "bookworm" and how to handle a peeping Tom. Produced By Dear Media

Older episodes

The Bitch Bible

What's The Bitch Bible about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

The Bitch Bible episodes:

Giddy Up

Average Fashion Blogger and a Mediocre Podcaster

Goodbye Courtney.

LIMBITLESS.

Body Fluids

Forces of Hate-ure

Shana Tova Motherf*ckers

SEND THE PARAMEDICS AND A PR REP.

There Will Be Blood

Leaving the Cuntry!

The Worst Episode Ever

Caulk Tease

Spectrumella

Leo Season

ALLEGEDLY

Life in Limb-o

Please Send Horse Tranquilizers

Cue the Human Resources Dept.

Pardon The DocATot.

Cue The Rainbow!

Nancy Meyers Could Never

MahaLow Point.

Wanderlust, Sparkles and Braille Buttholes

Bare Minimum with Heather McMahan and Jennifer Aniston!

Golden Shower

Carafe of Tears

The Big Unchill

$6.66

Mind. Body. No Soul.

"Do Better."

Oral High Ground

Me Against The Music

Psycho For Sport!

Live From the Dead Carpet.

Call Me Brenda.

Bitching in Hell

6 FUCKING YEARS.

Excusez Moi!

"C*nts Are The New Bitches"

Edible Derangement

Tan and Grainy

Woof Woof Bitch

Holidazed and Confused

Hoe Hoe Hoe with Heather McMahan

Fight, Flight or Flounder

Boulevard of Broken Porcelain

Teflon Tits

GrATeFuL

Gratitude Adjustment

Delusional, Dangerous and Dorky.

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