The Bitch Bible

By Dear Media, Jackie Schimmel

Society & Culture Comedy

What's The Bitch Bible about?

A podcast that dares to say what many are thinking, but only a bitch would say. Expect unfiltered and unapologetic discussions about sex, millennial struggles, pop culture, social faux-pas and hopefully, an insightful takeaway. Nothing is off limits.

Hosted by Jackie Schimmel, creator of blog “The Bitch Bible," and your soon-to-be bitchy (and super neurotic) best friend.

4.6

10,977 ratings

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LAST EPISODE

Reflecting and Deflecting!

09.30.2022

Jackie celebrates the Jewish New Year by repenting for her sins and making amends to the woman she sabotaged at the Gucci outlet. She also recaps her family discussing her abortion at Rosh Hashanah and why her and Andrew may ...

The Bitch Bible episodes:

09.30.2022 Reflecting and Deflecting! Jackie celebrates the Jewish New Year by repenting for her sins and making amends to the woman she sabotaged at the Gucci outlet. She also recaps her family discussing her abortion at Rosh Hashanah and why her and Andrew may ...
09.20.2022 Je Suis Yahabibi Jackie is back from Paris and breaks down her trip including the time she lost the opportunity to be a Princess and get a Birkin bag, pays homage to Leonardo Dicaprio and how to cast a love spell with period ...
09.13.2022 I'm Worried Darling. Jackie fantasizes about Michael Buble retiring, chats FASHION WEEK, gives a PSA on sex trafficking and breaks down the psychological trauma of the "Don't Worry Darling" press tour.
09.06.2022 C'est La Weave! Jackie gets conflict free hair extensions, shares her Paris travel guide and has a sexual experience with a car salesman!
08.30.2022 Waterboard Me! Jackie tackles some new wellness trends, breaks down her perfect day, makes a spiritual connection with a bird and explains "Universal Reverse Psychology".
08.24.2022 Jaaaaaaack! Jackie recaps a traumatic trip to the nail salon with her Grandma Gloria who is in the desperate pursuit of Hailey Bieber nails, puts a kibosh on the fall harvest spirit and has dinner with Jimmy Kimmel! Produced By Dear ...
08.16.2022 Sky's The Limit! Jackie shares a traumatic story of losing an overpriced midi dress on the 101 freeway whilst transporting wood, deep dives Taylor Swift lesbian fan fiction and teaches yoy how to make a buttermilk brined fried chicken! It's called RANGE. Produced ...
08.10.2022 Keeping It Relatable! Jackie has a few home renovation setbacks, discusses the Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson break up (oy vey), the time she robbed Jennifer Lawrence and her philanthropic bridal modeling campaign! Produced By Dear Media
08.02.2022 Jewcahontas Jackie pulls a full Winona Ryder at her latest funeral fashion show, gives marital tips on how to keep it spicy, and harnesses her inner Pocahontas! Produced by Dear Media
07.26.2022 LeO sEaZon Jackie issues a public apology, shares her rough start to Leo season and how she made contact with her dead mom. Produced By Dear Media
07.19.2022 JE SUIS PETTY! Jackie explains why Michael Buble has ruined her entire life, how to find self worth at the Home Depot and what to do when you find your husband playing guitar whilst defecating. Produced By Dear Media
07.12.2022 Candy Corn Chloroform Jackie goes on a pre-Leo season bender and drops a new Halloween precautionary song for the kiddos, Jen Shah arrest, her newest act of philanthropy and why Emrata should hold off on her second book. This episode is psychotic and ...
07.08.2022 Mental Manila Folder Jackie updates you on her Italian parasite, Leo season energy, Julianne Hough and her alleged tampon disposal and other legally dicey terrain. Produced By Dear Media
07.01.2022 La Dolce Diarrhea Jackie is back from Italy with memories and an alleged tapeworm. She has a rare honest moment of feminism, recaps her travels abroad, her altercation with Peta and why cookie cutters should be illegal. Produced By Dear Media
06.21.2022 Phone A Friend! Jackie answers listener questions and offers verbally abusive misguided life advice! Because maybe everything is actually all your own fault. Produced By Dear Media
06.18.2022 Sister Act! Jackie is joined by her sister to reminisce on problematic child behavior, Alex McCord and a bunch of other shit Jackie can't remember because she doesn't use an outline. Produced By Dear Media
06.13.2022 Dead Bird Disco Jackie recovers from Covid and shares her new funky way of detracting birds, cries during home renovations, Britney Spears wedding coverage and also justice for Sutton Stracke! Produced By Dear Media
06.05.2022 Hoe-vid Abduction Jackie gets coronavirus for the second time and fights for her life with a real time alien encounter. Please send Zinc and Demi Lovato. Produced by Dear Media
06.01.2022 Blame It On The Dramamine Jackie is back on American soil and enters a stream of conscious balls deep in dramamine. She talks Taylor Swifts bangs, RHOBH Kathy Hilton drama, supports Anna Delvey's art career and shares the unfortunate misstep of her current nail art. ...
05.17.2022 Meet Me at Alcatraz! Jackie leaves the country with a real bang by planning the Bitch Bible retreat at Alcatraz island, shares her most recent valley kabob experience, Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber Tik Tok trauma and why Anne Hathaway is a time traveler. ...
05.10.2022 Dead Mom Sh*t Jackie celebrates Mother's Day with her little sister to reminisce on their childhood, benefits of gentle bullying and why Franklin needs to make a call to PETA asap. Produced By Dear Media
05.03.2022 Little Brown Bebe Balls Jackie sits down to deep dive the suburban sexual escapades of Alexis Neiers Haines. Topics include strap ons, ball stomping, open relationships and more. Nancy Jo could literally never. Produced By Dear Media
04.26.2022 Octopus Jewpaccio Jackie addresses her impending cancelation after consuming octopus carpaccio, deep dives Earth Day, the stupid Revolve Festival and her dog sharting on an airplane tarmac. Produced By Dear Media
04.19.2022 Meet Cute with Tinx! Jackie is joined by internet friend Tinx to discuss the weird world of social media, preferred grooming habits, psychoanalyzing drink choices and general girl chat. Produced By Dear Media
04.13.2022 Love Always, Mandy! Jackie recaps things she is currently hating, pays homage to Mandy Moore's digital media presence, gets fingered by Al Pacino (allegedly) and has an experience with a ghost. Produced By Dear Media
04.05.2022 Big Mistake, Huge. Jackie debriefs on the Grammy's, her Deux Moi redemption moment and why faux quirky is the new pandemic of 2022. Produced By Dear Media
03.30.2022 Queen Bitchard Jackie recaps the Oscars, tries to raise Joan Rivers from the dead for some unfiltered fashion commentary and reminisces on her deep love for the Macaroni Grill and stealing mens razors to tend to her foliage pre-hook up. Produced By ...
03.22.2022 My Unorthodox Asshole Jackie discusses some aesthetic revisions she would like to make in 2022, discovers her husband's childhood attempts at poetry and goes over some celebrity Tik Tok conspiracy theories. Produced By Dear Media
03.19.2022 Je Suis Jacquié Jackie is back on American soil and recaps her girls trip to Paris, gives Kanye West the digital bitch slap he deserves and talks about the time she made out with Rob Kardashian and her inverted nipple. Produced By Dear ...
03.08.2022 Getting Messy with Sarah Hyland Jackie is joined by actress Sarah Hyland to talk about cocktail psychology, how to twist an argument and thrive as a messy bitch. Produced By Dear Media
03.01.2022 Jewphoria Jackie sits in the dark and gets lost in the abyss of tone deaf shit on the internet, makes the worst public apology of all time and pitches her new off Broadway play starring Mel Gibson! Produced by Dear Media
02.24.2022 Vag Tingz and Peen Chills Jackie is joined by friend and fellow podcaster Jared Freid to discuss luxury problems, first date tips and role playing techniques for psychopaths (ehem me). Produced By Dear Media
02.17.2022 Intervention Jackie falls victime to a family intervention over abusing Advil PM and shares her journey with insomniac recovery. She also praises speech impediments, the character building effects of light bullying and why Kristen Bell and Dax Sheperd need a new ...
02.09.2022 Be The Best You! JK Jackie has Enneagram specialist Jorja White on to discuss personality types and how to be the most/ least functional version of yourself. Produced By Dear Media
02.02.2022 High Highs and Barlows Jackie recaps Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Kanye West's breakup plan and why Minnie Mouse should file a class action lawsuit. Produced By Dear Media
01.26.2022 Dances with Bagels Jackie discusses cancel culture, the time she blacked out at her grandma's 80th birthday and the joys of hating strangers for absolutely no reason. I dare you to order a Sierra Mist in public after listening to this. Produced By ...
01.19.2022 Trail of Blood Jackie kicks off 2022 by having a code red emergency clearing customs, shares her battle with that bitch Omicron, recaps Real Housewives reunion looks and gets disinvited from Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly's impending nuptials. Produced By Dear Media
01.11.2022 Daddy Daycare with Alex Cooper Part 2 Jackie is joined by Alex Cooper from "Call Her Daddy" for part 2 where they continue to talk shit about everyone and everything! Bring in the new year with a second slice of narcissism. Produced by Dear Media
01.04.2022 Daddy Daycare with Alex Cooper Jackie is joined by Alex Cooper from "Call Her Daddy" to talk shit about everyone and everything! Bring in the new year with a slice of narcissism. Produced by Dear Media
12.29.2021 I'm Literally So Sorry. Jackie gets drunk on Christmas and will not be held responsible for the contents of this episode. I don't remember what I talked about. I will make a donation to the Ronald McDonald House of Charity. Produced by Dear Media
12.15.2021 Get Off My Ovaries Jackie eviscerates a girl she went to highschool with for shaming her for being kidless in a grocery store and makes a strong case to get Santa Claus cancelled. Produced By Dear Media
12.07.2021 Long Shame Strategy This is a great episode, Jackie recaps how King Richard changed her life, the time she got kicked out of a youth sports league for breaking someone's nose and warns Megan Fox about being dutch-ovened. Produced by Dear Media
12.03.2021 Caesar Salad Scissor Sisters Jackie recaps her thanksgiving festivities, pleas to get the Hough's off of our television screens, discusses why Caesar salads trigger her and experiences trauma at an outlet mall. Produced By Dear Media
11.25.2021 Grateful and Hateful Jackie is #grateful this year and recapping her latest funeral, Pete and Kim, the do's and dont's of Thanksgiving and her affinity for cantaloupe jello. You are welcome. Produced By Dear Media
11.19.2021 Trauma Truffle Butter Jackie recaps her trip to Nashville and NYC, talks Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and coins a new medical psychology term "trauma truffle butter" to help soothe the impending doom of the holiday season. Produced By Dear Media
11.09.2021 Potpourri of Negativity! Jackie goes over a very detailed account of people, places and bizarre things that give her rosacea and make her irrationally angry. She also goes through the Goop Gift Guide and will change your entire perspective on frosted lip gloss. ...
11.04.2021 Leo Forever Jackie breaks down pop culture happenings, explores her crush on Pete Davidson, talks about her dead mom again and answers listener questions as the cringe cherry on top! Produced By Dear Media
10.29.2021 Sabbatical Jackie comes back from a vow of silence to enter yet another torrid stream of conscious dissecting Housewives fashion, content creator complex and the problematic side of Halloween. Produced By Dear Media
10.19.2021 Giddy Up Jackie heads to the Kentucky Derby after being bullied on social media and called horse face. She also accidentally gets her husband cancelled, recaps housewives and dissects Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly's love language. Produced By Dear Media
10.12.2021 Average Fashion Blogger and a Mediocre Podcaster Jackie practices unlicensed therapy on the legend behind @averagefashionblogger Courtney Parchman! They discuss losing their virginity, their deep history and why light hearted bullying builds character. Produced by Dear Media

Older episodes

The Bitch Bible

What's The Bitch Bible about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

The Bitch Bible episodes:

Reflecting and Deflecting!

Je Suis Yahabibi

I'm Worried Darling.

C'est La Weave!

Waterboard Me!

Jaaaaaaack!

Sky's The Limit!

Keeping It Relatable!

Jewcahontas

LeO sEaZon

JE SUIS PETTY!

Candy Corn Chloroform

Mental Manila Folder

La Dolce Diarrhea

Phone A Friend!

Sister Act!

Dead Bird Disco

Hoe-vid Abduction

Blame It On The Dramamine

Meet Me at Alcatraz!

Dead Mom Sh*t

Little Brown Bebe Balls

Octopus Jewpaccio

Meet Cute with Tinx!

Love Always, Mandy!

Big Mistake, Huge.

Queen Bitchard

My Unorthodox Asshole

Je Suis Jacquié

Getting Messy with Sarah Hyland

Jewphoria

Vag Tingz and Peen Chills

Intervention

Be The Best You! JK

High Highs and Barlows

Dances with Bagels

Trail of Blood

Daddy Daycare with Alex Cooper Part 2

Daddy Daycare with Alex Cooper

I'm Literally So Sorry.

Get Off My Ovaries

Long Shame Strategy

Caesar Salad Scissor Sisters

Grateful and Hateful

Trauma Truffle Butter

Potpourri of Negativity!

Leo Forever

Sabbatical

Giddy Up

Average Fashion Blogger and a Mediocre Podcaster

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