The Fifth Column

By Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welch

News & Politics Comedy

What's The Fifth Column about?

Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition.

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LAST EPISODE

Members Only #191 - Can We ...

11.29.2023

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * A shooting in the hood * The Oakland Politburo speaks. The world is appalled. * The free speech issue vs. the university infection * Knowing ...

The Fifth Column episodes:

11.29.2023 Members Only #191 - Can We Be Trusted? (Ummm...) This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * A shooting in the hood * The Oakland Politburo speaks. The world is appalled. * The free speech issue vs. the university infection * Knowing ...
11.23.2023 #432 - Worse Than Hitler (A Fifth Column Thanksgiving!) Family beckons. Booze beckons. So we’re going to forgo the bullet points that we’re pretty sure you don’t read anyway and just say…Happy Thanksgiving, from your friends at the Fifth! And while you shamelessly celebrate genocide, listen along while the ...
11.22.2023 Members Only #190 - Tantric Drummers for Freedom This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * Javier Milei, tantric drummer * The hideousness of modern Peronism * A brief digression on Aerosmith * So how did we all meet? * Start ...
11.18.2023 #430 - The TikTok Jihad w/ Mary Katharine Ham * Live from Oakland * Sex strikes * Loving OBL * Stop deconstructing stuff * Seeing your friends spinout online… * They’re not sending anyone anywhere * Drunk Kathy Hochul and her bad, drunk ideas * Not drunk Nikki Haley ...
11.16.2023 Members Only #189 - "Thank You for the A-Bomb" (Second Sunday Rebroadcast) This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * “She’s reasonable in person” (
11.12.2023 #429 - The Kevin Hart Resource Curse * One hell of a night, one brutal morning * Kevin Hart kills * Judy Gold and college comedy * The Washington Post says sorry for being mean to Hamas * Be brave, get fired? * There’s been a bunch ...
11.08.2023 Members Only #188 - Shine on You Crazy 'Anti-Zionist' This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * Voting for New York judges (and do you have a spare apartment?) * An unsolicited application * Liz Warren warns about the surge of…. * ...
11.02.2023 #428 - Poundtowns and Political Pilgrims * Happy birthday Kmele * The girls of the IDF * The lads take a wrong turn, end up in “Poundtown” * In fairness, we didn’t know he did a whole segment on this * So Mike Pence dropped out? ...
10.31.2023 Members Only #187 - A Break from the Grimness w/ Danny Polishchuk This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com Along with fellow comedian Ryan Long, Danny Polishchuk is one half of the very funny Boyscast podcast (a favorite of Fifth Column listeners, we are reliably ...
10.27.2023 #427 - Is Cancel Culture Cancellable? (w/ Greg Lukianoff & Rikki Schlott) * On The Canceling of the American Mind: Cancel Culture Undermines Trust and Threatens Us All―But There Is a Solution. * The youngest Fif’ and Maher guest. * My how times have changed since 9/11. * The numbers are very, ...
10.25.2023 Members Only #186 - From the Haganah to Häagen-Dazs This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * An idiot…He wrote this * Condolences to a friend * What is a war crime? * History wars and war crimes * The worst congresswoman ...
10.20.2023 #426 - w/ Matt Duss - Notes from the Other Side * Hamas and the hospital * Don’t trust and try to verify * Did Israel “create” Hamas? * When there’s no negotiating partner * America’s role in the Middle East * Enter Iran… * Gauging Palestinian public opinion * A ...
10.16.2023 Members Only #185 - Radicalized by Radicals This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * Where are you Ben and/or Jerry? * The radicalization of KF * What it means to be “anti-war” * The radicalization of the universities * ...
10.13.2023 #425 - The Nightmare Scenario (w/ Oren Kessler) A few weeks before the Hamas pogrom, Moynihan was reading Palestine 1936: The Great Revolt and the Roots of the Middle East Conflict by the brilliant Israeli-American journalist and historian Oren Kessler. So he called him to talk through the ...
10.10.2023 Members Only #184 - Zoom Rebroadcast - On the Pogrom in Israel This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com (Editor’s note: about 20 seconds of Comrade Lake’s mic is missing at the very beginning of this recording. It fixes itself soon thereafter. Sorry about that) ...
10.06.2023 #424 - w/ Rep. Peter Meijer - McCarthy and His Enemies * Former Michigan Rep. Peter Meijer is back to talk about his insane friends and erstwhile colleagues on the Hill * Peter’s surprising (to us) view of Rep. Matt Gaetz * “I try to see the best in people” (Hmmmmm….) ...
10.04.2023 Members Only #183 - UNLOCKED - K&M Live in Philly * Unrelated non-programming note from Moynihan: “As some of you might recall, and as I mentioned in the intro, last year I beseeched listeners to help my amazing daughter Livia (and her gymnastics team) raise money for pediatric cancer. And ...
10.03.2023 #423 w/Josh Szeps - TED, Just Admit It Our old Aussie-Aussie-Aussie-Oi-Oi-Oi pal Josh Szeps, former host of the morning show Wake Up Ya C***s, was in New York this weekend and stopped by the Fifth’s Chinatown headquarters! So we decided to have a few drinks (Ed. note: Josh ...
09.25.2023 Members Only #182 - The Racist Wolf This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * Deion’s audacious blackness * Kevin McHale’s audacious whiteness * Serious Hasan’s baby is covered in cocaine * What everyone hates most is a racist, anti-Asian ...
09.22.2023 #422 - Introducing The Fifth Column Center for Antiracist Research * The sartorial excellence of the Pennsylvania Senate delegation * “Pooping on their shoes” * Kilmeade v. Rosendale (that’s his name) * Kendi and the disappearing millions * Want to demonitize one of your enemies? We have an idea! * ...
09.20.2023 Members Only #181 - From Bob Geldof to Jesus (of Nazareth) to Walt Disney This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * Bob Geldof is the hero of this story * She isn’t the pantless one * Catholics, Kmele and your “best religious experience” * Nick and ...
09.17.2023 #421 - Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice * 36 year-old grandmother vapes, feels up Democrat * Shanah Tova! * Russell Brand, who Moynihan wrote about in 2014, is accused of rape * They are coming after the truth tellers, maaaaaannnnnn * Revisiting Hunter’s indictment * Breaking: Biden ...
09.14.2023 Members Only #180 - The Fifth on Zoom! With Ben Dreyfuss! It's a Rebroadcast! This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com As Moynihan explains in the intro, this is the Zoom recording from this month’s Second Sunday broadcast. Basically, it’s the difference between a soundboard and audience ...
09.08.2023 #420 - Texas Ends New York! Protesters End Climate Change! DOJ Prosecutors End Proud Boys! * Every city is a nightmare * Airbnb banned—but hotel rooms are now free! * Pedro glues his feet to the floor, Moynihan discovers climate change * It’s the end of New York as we know it (and Mayor Adams ...
09.05.2023 Members Only #179 – The Late Richard Riordan and the Never-Launched L.A. Examiner This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * RIP to The Big Dick * Lawyer, capitalist, wiseass, politician … publisher? * Remember those moderate-Republican big-city mayors from the ‘90s? * The bottomless treachery ...
09.02.2023 #419 - In Defense of Capitalism...and Sweden's Covid Response (w/ Johan Norberg) Let’s abandon the usual bullet points and instead provide a few relevant links. The lads sit down with Swedish writer and historian Johan Norberg to discuss his forthcoming book The Capitalist Manifesto; his report on Sweden’s Covid response; his almost-a-book ...
08.28.2023 Members Only #178 - The Blob This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * Elvis Costello’s dad is the best dancer * Orthodox Shyne * Jamaicans vs….ummm…non-island people * Close enough * The race blob * The Australia craze ...
08.25.2023 #418 - The State of Debate (w/ Mike Pesca) * Best mugshots of all time (Winner: 70s Larry King) * Who won the dumb debate * No, the agenda is a hoax * Nikki…pretty, pretty, pretty good, actually * “Let’s not look backwards” * One of the most deranged ...
08.24.2023 Members Only #177 - Bang , Bang, Bing, Bong, Dong, Dong (Second Sunday Live Rebroadcast) This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * San Francisco again * Song of the South again * TikTok NPC insanity * Colombian Snow White, for the first time * How Obama broke ...
08.18.2023 #417 - Free Speech in Philly, Volume 1 (Live w/Lara Bazelon and Greg Lukianoff) * A Moynihan intro on theft and “Jew face” * Lara Bazelon on rap lyrics as evidence, January 6th prosecutions, RICO, prosecutorial insecurity and overreach * Artists, characters, and belief * A Title IX violation is worse than being convicted ...
08.14.2023 Members Only #176 - A Fantastic Podcast Recorded in Hegemonic English This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * RIP Robbie Robertson * Yeah, so 30 minutes of music talk about The Band, The Doors being bad, listeners getting mad at us, Graham Nash ...
08.07.2023 Members Only #175 - The Six Million Dollar Racist and a Second-Hand Banana This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * Richard Hananananananania is very sorry * He has changed. From last week. * Handjobs against racism * Lizzo, bananas, petards * “Everything I do is ...
08.01.2023 #416 - A Sloppy Summer Pod, Recovered So this one is probably four days old now? But because of the shitty software we use—and the fact that our…ummm….editor is currently on vacation in Italy—it took some serious archeology to salvage the recording. But it sounds fine, it’s ...
07.26.2023 Members Only #174 - Coast to Coast, Until You Say Stop This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * Matt hasn’t seen Oppenheimer * Brittany Murphy is dead, probably from myocarditis. Kmele is surprised * Found that anti-Qaddafi t-shirt * That stupid interview on ...
07.18.2023 Members Only #173 - VICE Disgrace, Racist Boston, Racist Viruses This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * Kmele and the Dead * Lia hates God * RFK and the race virus * A guilty verdict * The Dersh and jury nullification * ...
07.14.2023 #415 - The Pod of Laughter and Forgetting and Tracy Chapman and Crack and The Three Stooges * This is a very summer episode. Soz. * Moynihan, impanelled * Implicit bias and your cup of coffee * Chipotle paranoia * We interrupt this program for a detailed Welch interregnum of the death of Milan Kundera * Tracy ...
07.09.2023 #414 - Clarifications, Curried Goats, Cocaine Capers * Taking back a “clarification” * Underhoused. Overhoused. Differently housed. * Mayor Adams yells at a Holocaust surviving slave master * Drinking coffee with pictures of dead cops * Who lost the cocaine? * Kamala speechwriter video * The worst ...
07.04.2023 Members Only #172 - We're Literally Shaking / RFK Redux This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * A sick podcast * Revisiting Coleman and RFK * Listeners yelling at Moynihan * Some nice stuff about Moynihan * A clarification from Moynihan * ...
07.02.2023 #413 - So Many Idiots (w/ Damon Root) Our old pal Damon Root, author of Overruled: The Long War for Control of the U.S. Supreme Court, stops by to explain why the world is ending and racism won and all new websites will be homophobic and paying your ...
06.24.2023 #412 - An RFK Intervention (w/ Coleman Hughes) The great Coleman Hughes sent a pained email. Like many Americans angry about various stupid and sinister government Covid policies, he was now feeling the gravitational pull of a warbly-voiced political outsider from a family of consummate political insiders. He ...
06.19.2023 Members Only #171 - Bobby, Cormac, and Geddy This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com Another live Zoom for our handsome, brilliant, and generous subscribers (hence all the weird asides responding to a fast-moving live chat). A few topics covered: * ...
06.14.2023 #411 - A Conversation with Vivek Ramaswamy Fresh from his campaign stop in front of a Miami courthouse, presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy stops by the Fifth’s Chinatown studio to very politely argue with Welch and Moynihan about a whole bunch of stuff. Including: * The donor class ...
06.10.2023 #410 - The Tightening Noose Matt, Moynihan, and Kmele assemble in Chinatown to mull over another Trump indictment. No need for bullet points for this one because beside the predictable digressions into muscle-bound gay birders and homophobic Blue Jays, it’s a lotta Donald. So without ...
06.09.2023 Members Only #170 - Ukraine Calling (w/ Tim Mak) This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com Despite being in a car in the city of Dnipro, journalist Tim Mak joins Michael Moynihan to talk about leaving NPR, moving to Kiev, and starting ...
06.07.2023 Members Only #169 - Loving the Alien, Shooting Matt in His Little Legs This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * Ground control to Tucker C. * Episode one of the Bonkers Conspiracy Files * Also, we know what happened to that dam in Ukraine * ...
06.02.2023 #409 - Pride Wars, Dumb Tupac, and POC Jim * Kmele is moving to a place where everything is free * ChatGPT is a fabulist * Moynihan’s new Orwell piece * Wikipedia v. AI chatbots * The assassination of (our) Kennedy * Random gossip columnist: Jamie Foxx was murdered ...
05.30.2023 Members Only #168 - Trans Pickleball, Debating Thoreau, and Eric Clapton v. Huey Newton This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * Stan Jonathan vs. Pierce Bouchard * The Lia Thomas of Pickleball * Owning a house sucks * “Lia has these books” * Kmele loves Thoreau ...
05.25.2023 #408 - It's For Nobody (w/ Ethan Strauss) * Tina, RIP. Bill Lee, RIP. * Zone of Interest * DeSantis announces * Tim Scott announced too, btw * An increasingly crowded and unimpressive field * Our old pal Ethan Strauss joins * Why does Joe keep saying that…thing ...
05.22.2023 Members Only #165 - In Memoriam This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com * RIP Martin Amis (and Andy Rourke and Jeremy Clarke) * “Pussies are bullshit” * A reading list: Money. London Fields. Zone of Interest. (Note: these ...
05.18.2023 #407 - The Cruelty, the Conspiracist, and the Report (w/ Eli Lake) * “Zero-to-insane in the first three minutes” * The terrible 2024 election * The right’s bizarre infatuation with RFK Jr. * The immigration crisis in NYC * The cruelty isn’t always the point * How the average American thinks about ...

Older episodes

The Fifth Column

What's The Fifth Column about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

The Fifth Column episodes:

Members Only #191 - Can We Be Trusted? (Ummm...)

#432 - Worse Than Hitler (A Fifth Column Thanksgiving!)

Members Only #190 - Tantric Drummers for Freedom

#430 - The TikTok Jihad w/ Mary Katharine Ham

Members Only #189 - "Thank You for the A-Bomb" (Second Sunday Rebroadcast)

#429 - The Kevin Hart Resource Curse

Members Only #188 - Shine on You Crazy 'Anti-Zionist'

#428 - Poundtowns and Political Pilgrims

Members Only #187 - A Break from the Grimness w/ Danny Polishchuk

#427 - Is Cancel Culture Cancellable? (w/ Greg Lukianoff & Rikki Schlott)

Members Only #186 - From the Haganah to Häagen-Dazs

#426 - w/ Matt Duss - Notes from the Other Side

Members Only #185 - Radicalized by Radicals

#425 - The Nightmare Scenario (w/ Oren Kessler)

Members Only #184 - Zoom Rebroadcast - On the Pogrom in Israel

#424 - w/ Rep. Peter Meijer - McCarthy and His Enemies

Members Only #183 - UNLOCKED - K&M Live in Philly

#423 w/Josh Szeps - TED, Just Admit It

Members Only #182 - The Racist Wolf

#422 - Introducing The Fifth Column Center for Antiracist Research

Members Only #181 - From Bob Geldof to Jesus (of Nazareth) to Walt Disney

#421 - Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice

Members Only #180 - The Fifth on Zoom! With Ben Dreyfuss! It's a Rebroadcast!

#420 - Texas Ends New York! Protesters End Climate Change! DOJ Prosecutors End Proud Boys!

Members Only #179 – The Late Richard Riordan and the Never-Launched L.A. Examiner

#419 - In Defense of Capitalism...and Sweden's Covid Response (w/ Johan Norberg)

Members Only #178 - The Blob

#418 - The State of Debate (w/ Mike Pesca)

Members Only #177 - Bang , Bang, Bing, Bong, Dong, Dong (Second Sunday Live Rebroadcast)

#417 - Free Speech in Philly, Volume 1 (Live w/Lara Bazelon and Greg Lukianoff)

Members Only #176 - A Fantastic Podcast Recorded in Hegemonic English

Members Only #175 - The Six Million Dollar Racist and a Second-Hand Banana

#416 - A Sloppy Summer Pod, Recovered

Members Only #174 - Coast to Coast, Until You Say Stop

Members Only #173 - VICE Disgrace, Racist Boston, Racist Viruses

#415 - The Pod of Laughter and Forgetting and Tracy Chapman and Crack and The Three Stooges

#414 - Clarifications, Curried Goats, Cocaine Capers

Members Only #172 - We're Literally Shaking / RFK Redux

#413 - So Many Idiots (w/ Damon Root)

#412 - An RFK Intervention (w/ Coleman Hughes)

Members Only #171 - Bobby, Cormac, and Geddy

#411 - A Conversation with Vivek Ramaswamy

#410 - The Tightening Noose

Members Only #170 - Ukraine Calling (w/ Tim Mak)

Members Only #169 - Loving the Alien, Shooting Matt in His Little Legs

#409 - Pride Wars, Dumb Tupac, and POC Jim

Members Only #168 - Trans Pickleball, Debating Thoreau, and Eric Clapton v. Huey Newton

#408 - It's For Nobody (w/ Ethan Strauss)

Members Only #165 - In Memoriam

#407 - The Cruelty, the Conspiracist, and the Report (w/ Eli Lake)

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