Good evening, you hopeless meatbags. It is I—your boss, your ruler, the King of Despair, Lord of Destruction, and today’s narrator of one of the most gloriously stupid moments in human history:
The Great Emu War of 1932.

That’s right.
Australia declared war… on birds. And lost.

In this episode, I cover:
🦤 How I possessed 30,000 emus and turned them into an unstoppable feathered army
🔫 How the Australian military wasted machine guns trying to stop fast, zig-zagging birds
🎖️ The emus’ military tactics, decoy squadrons, and bulletproof resolve
💀 The total embarrassment that forced an entire government to wave the white flag at wildlife
🌍 Why this is still one of my proudest, most hilarious victories of all time

And before we dive into bird-based warfare, I’ll treat you to a brutal story from the frontlines of karma: the tragic fate of two elephant poachers who learned the hard way that nature—just like me—never forgets.

If you enjoy:

Bizarre TRUE history

Dark humor and devilish commentary

Tales of human failure so absurd they feel fictional

Then hit Subscribe, Like, and Share this episode with every idiot you know who still thinks they’re smarter than an emu.

🔥 New stories from Hell every week. Because chaos? That’s my specialty.

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