The great poop attack of 2003

Day 3 of the Michael Smalley Comedy Hour (not really an hour)

It was possibly 2003, honestly I can’t remember the year, but that’s not important.  Today I share one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, and again it was at the diabolical hands of my older brother.  

You won’t believe this story, but every detail is true! 

But today isn’t just about my personal shame.  The corona virus has caused a lot of anxiety and fear for many of you.  So I’m going to give some simple tips on dealing with the angst this pandemic is causing.

BUT FIRST, A MOMENT TO BEG FOR YOUR MONEY! 

Virtual Intensives are here! https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/smalley-virtual-intensives and, since live events will be coming back, bring a poor comedian to your church, organization or even family home.  Check out how easy it is to host The Comedy of Love: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/comedy-of-love 

FAMILY TIPS FOR QUARANTINE

Play hide and seek

Play hide and lock

This game is unique and takes some early planning, but parents will love it! First thing, about 30 days before you play hide and lock you need to subtly drop hints to your kids that specific rooms would be a great hiding place. It’s called subliminal manipulation, which would make Dr. Spock proud. After 30 days you get your kids excited about playing hide and lock. Of course, since you’ve been subtly manipulating their minds for 30 days you know exactly where they are going to hide. The fun part is they are hiding in rooms where there is no escape. Unknown to your kids you have outfitted each door with a special locking system so they will remain in the room locked in until you let them out at your leisure.

MY MOST EMBARRASSING STORY EVER IS COMING UP RIGHT AFTER THESE TIPS FOR HANDLING STRESS AND ANXIETY

Here’s the first thing you have to hear, and it’s not going to be easy to receive.  But the reality is that the more anxiety and stress you have over coronavirus, the more you become vulnerable in catching coronavirus.

PSYCHIATRIST SALLY-ANNE SOAMESON wrote: How Cortisol Weakens the Immune System. 

Cortisol weakens your immune system for a good reason. During periods of intense stress,cortisol attempts to reduce inflammation by weakening some of the antibodies that can increase inflammation. It also turns on natural immunity (the ability to fight off problems immediately) and moves resources away from specific immunities (the ability to prevent diseases your body knows how to control).

But cortisol is only helpful in short bursts. When you experience prolonged stress, your body needs those T-cells and white blood cells, and unfortunately, cortisol continues to suppress them, thus weakening your immune system over time.

Tip #1 Exercise and eat well

Now I can relate to this one! One of my former go to coping mechanisms when stressed out was to eat everything.  It took gastric bypass to cure me of that problem.  But most of you haven’t gone that direction nor do you need to.  Right now it’s important to recognize the importance of eating well and exercising on a regular basis during one of the most global crises since WW2.

Tip #2 Plan, Plan, Plan

One of the biggest issues causing so much stress and anxiety is that there is so much unknown about this virus and the media has lost control!  Do any of you remember the Summer of the Shark Attack?  It was covered as much as coronavirus, but the interesting thing is that during the Summer of the Shark Attack, there were actually fewer shark attacks than previous Summers!

Start planning for worst case scenarios.  Stock up on nonperishable goods.  Begin brainstorming and researching online different activities you can do with your kids.  Look into online schooling options.  Talk to your boss about options of working at home.  The more control you feel the less stress you will experience.

Tip #3 Lack of sleep is not an option

Binge watching streaming services is fun, but don’t let that prevent you from at least six hours of sleep.  If you’re struggling getting asleep or staying asleep, talk to your doctor.  I just got a great sleeping pill from my doctor that has allowed me to finally get a solid six.  Turn off the TV, try reading, or even listen to your favorite podcast (that’s worked great for me).

Before I get to the story, I have a short sponsor commercial....oh wait, I forgot, I have no sponsors!

THE STORY

Now, for the most embarrassing story of my life!  The great poop attack of 2003 (I think).

LAST BUT NOT LEAST! 

Virtual Intensives are here! https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/smalley-virtual-intensives and, since live events will be coming back, bring a poor comedian to your church, organization or even family home.  Check out how easy it is to host The Comedy of Love: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/comedy-of-love