To begin today’s tale, allow me to share a translation of an ancient Chinese joke: Three men were looking at the clouds. One points to a cloud and says, that cloud is shaped like a horse. Another points to a cloud and says, that one is shaped like a whale. The third man points to a mushroom-shaped cloud, and everyone dies.

On today’s episode: you’ll find out just how badly ancient China wanted nothing to do with you; you’ll learn about an explosion so large, people miles away had to clear limbs and genitals from their rooves; and you would hear about how at the time, ancient disasters were believed to be Heaven’s way of saying your Government sucked.

And if you were listening on Patreon… you would hear about how people were killed in the early development of explosives, including those for whom there wasn’t enough left to put a thermometer in; you would hear about the time San Francisco tried to use dynamite to fight fires, and how that didn’t go as well as you’d think; and you would hear as I climb upon my pulpit and deliver unto you a sermon on blasphemy and the special place in hell reserved for insurance adjusters.

As one supporter who already heard this on Patreon said – "everybody Wanggongchang tonight!"

Jesus himself will make a quick cameo in this story, and he will explain how all sins are forgivable – except for the blasphemous use of his Dad’s name by insurance adjusters, and how there’s a toasty level of hell that awaits them all. Apologies in advance if you work in insurance, but it’s better to find out now.

The last time we visited China, we watched a sideways rocket launch that performed an incomplete orbit over the countryside before landing nose first onto its own launch centre 22 seconds later. Those were the good old days compared to today’s story, which is much older, and much more aggressive. It won’t be as gory of course, but the body count will be much more egregious. In trying to figure out this story’s rightful place in history, I had to start comparing it to meteors and super volcanoes and atomic bombs. Not to spoil anything, but this is one of the more profound disasters we’ve ever covered, and the cause was I believe, something so innocuous and dumb, I’ve done it to my cat by accident before.

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It's been almost six years now and the show is getting close to a million listens a year. I'd like to pay more attention to growing it. All exposure is good exposure, and if DiscoverPod can deliver a little, I'm all for it. Doomsday's been nominated for a 2025 DiscoverPod award and I only just realized it's a few days away, so if you're able and willing, I'd appreciate you filling out a quick supporting nomination on their site for me.

It’s discoverpods.com/2025-podcast-awards

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