The Marriage Podcast for Smart People

By Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele

Society & Culture Education

What's The Marriage Podcast for Smart People about?

Build a Marriage You’ll Love Today and Treasure for a Lifetime

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Why Church Leaders are Vuln...

09.11.2019

Sometimes we forget that pastors are just as human as the rest of us. And it can be devastating to hear about a pastor who has been unfaithful. But it doesn’t have to be that way. When we examine what ...

The Marriage Podcast for Smart People episodes:

09.11.2019 Why Church Leaders are Vulnerable to Infidelity and Pornography (& What To Do About It) Sometimes we forget that pastors are just as human as the rest of us. And it can be devastating to hear about a pastor who has been unfaithful. But it doesn’t have to be that way. When we examine what ...
09.04.2019 Is My Spouse a Sex Addict? Where is the line between a healthy love of sex and sex addiction? It boils down to the reasons for the behavior and their impact on the people closest to you. The deep roots of this very real addiction can ...
08.28.2019 Why People Seek Marriage Counseling & What Approaches They Choose The myth of the fairy tale ending tells us that after marriage, we will live happily ever after. While we can find happiness in marriage, we will have problems as well. Marriage counseling means recognizing that sometimes those problems are ...
08.21.2019 How Shame Perpetuates Porn Addiction Because you are hurt, lack something, or desire something, you might turn to porn as a coping mechanism, hoping that it will provide the feeling or fulfillment you seek. At the end of the day, porn is a maladaptive coping ...
08.14.2019 How to Set Boundaries in a Kind Way Most people have heard about boundaries and use them to try to create distance and cut off connection. However, boundaries are best used to create connection instead of ending it. By learning how to set boundaries in your marriage, you ...
08.07.2019 Unpack the Four Horsemen Four factors of communication are such clear indicators that a marriage is headed for failure that they’ve been named after the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Couples that fail to deal with them can be predicted to separate with 90% ...
07.31.2019 How to Identify Your Emotions Feelings can seem so difficult to understand. And why should you? After all, they aren’t the rational part of the brain, right? There are so many misconceptions about emotions, so you might have given up long ago on identifying them. ...
07.17.2019 How To Keep The Romance Alive in Your Marriage Marriages can be strange. You slog through the daily grind, but at least you’ve got your partner. You think that everything’s fine, but then one day you wake up and realize that you don’t feel close to your spouse anymore. ...
07.03.2019 Dealing with Your Shame and Guilt After Betrayal It’s not enough to simply help your spouse calm down after you have hurt them. You need to find a way to change so that you don’t repeat your betrayal. If you can embrace your failure and focus on changing ...
06.26.2019 How To Work With Your Spouse’s Betrayal Trauma Part 2 As you continue to help your spouse deal with the trauma of your betrayal, it can be exhausting and frustrating. But you are the one who hurt your spouse; you need to be there every step of the way. To ...
06.19.2019 How To Work With Your Spouse’s Betrayal Trauma Okay, so you said you were sorry. But getting over an affair can be difficult. You said you’re going to change, so why can’t your spouse just move on? When you hurt your spouse deeply, they will have lasting trauma ...
06.12.2019 Male Privilege in Marriage Ever wondered why your wife spends so much time putting on makeup? Or why she worries so much about what others think of her? Beyond toxic political debate, research shows that men do have advantages their wives do not. Acknowledging ...
06.05.2019 How To Forgive Your Spouse After Betrayal How could they do this? After everything you’ve been through together, after everything you’ve promised each other, they just set that aside and betrayed you, the one they claimed to love the most. At this point, forgiveness might seem like ...
05.29.2019 Why Your Husband Can’t Hear You During Conflict A problem has popped up in your marriage, but your spouse doesn’t seem to care. It’s easy to take it personally, but there’s more going on than meets the eye. Actually, because they care so deeply, something inside of them ...
05.22.2019 How Empathy Deepens Intimacy In an ideal world, you would fully understand your spouse. In reality, you must learn how to show empathy and give them the validation they need. By cultivating empathy, you will be able to find more stability and intimacy in ...
05.15.2019 How Curiosity Deepens Intimacy It’s not enough to know that your spouse is complex. It’s time to start exploring, and for that, you will need the power of curiosity. Curiosity is able to transform every situation into an opportunity to better understand one another. ...
05.08.2019 How Irreducibility Deepens Intimacy in Marriage How can your marriage work when the two of you are so wildly different? At the start of your marriage, it’s easy to overlook those differences. But the more you get to know your spouse, the more you realize that ...
05.01.2019 How Vulnerability Deepens Intimacy in Marriage By being vulnerable in your marriage, you can get hurt. Today we’ll take a look at how instead of hurting each other, you can learn to accept each other and find a deep sense of fulfillment and meaning. We will ...
04.24.2019 How Couples Can Grow Spiritually…Together Sometimes couples forget that they should be working together on their spiritual journey. Today we'll discover how sharing faith with your spouse and building on it will help you experience a deeper, more satisfying marriage. Plus we've got a few ...
04.17.2019 Cognitive Biases in Marriage: Reactance, Mood and Confirmation Today we continue our dive into the topic of cognitive biases: shortcuts and assumptions our minds make which sometimes get us into trouble. The brain is a pretty sophisticated thing, but sometimes it can affect how we interpret situations or ...
04.10.2019 Cognitive Biases in Marriage: Spotlight, Illusion of Transparency & Availability Heuristic Does your mind play tricks on you? Cognitive biases or "thinking errors" are shortcuts, assumptions, and biases our minds make without us even knowing. These biases can affect the way we think and act in subtle without our knowledge, and ...
04.03.2019 How To Make The Most of an Unhappy Marriage Today we're looking at those marriages that for whatever reason aren't working. You're not happy, but you're committed to marriage and have made the admirable decision to stick it out rather than divorce. So how do you make the most ...
03.27.2019 When Your Spouse Doesn’t Share Your Faith Today we're talking about marriages where there is a mismatch in faith. This can either be when you have different faiths, when one of you is religious but the other isn't, or simply when faith isn't as important to one ...
03.20.2019 When Your Spouse Has Let Him/Herself Go and You Are Not Attracted Many couples reach the point in marriage where they've been married for a long time and are starting to be less attracted to each other physically. Perhaps one (or both!) of you has let themselves go. The question is, how ...
03.13.2019 How Shift Work Impacts Marriage And What To Do About It 1 in 6 people are shift workers- people who work outside normal weekday hours. For married couples, if one of you works shifts this can mean you don't see them for long periods of time, or you end up like ...
03.06.2019 Here’s The Best Thing You Can Do After a Fight With Your Spouse Everyone has arguments now and then. A single fight isn't going to destroy your marriage, but the negative feelings and bitterness an argument creates can have lingering effects on your happiness. This resentment and rumination can get under your skin ...
02.27.2019 How To Help Your Husband Through His Man Cold The dreaded man cold... the bane of men everywhere and the unquestioned worst illness ever. Or is it? Today we're taking a look at the research on man flu to see if it really is as bad as men seem ...
02.20.2019 How Losing a Child Impacts Marriage There's little doubt that losing a child is one of the hardest things a parent can ever go through. Not only do you have the immediate and overwhelming sadness of the loss but you have to learn to make sense ...
02.13.2019 The Abusive Wife We normally think of abuse as something that happens to women. And it's true that violence and emotional abuse against women is a serious problem. But society is often blind to the equally devastating problem of abuse against men. Abusive ...
02.06.2019 How Generosity Could Transform Your Marriage Generosity is about giving freely of yourself to your spouse and thinking of their needs over your own. So naturally, generosity is very good for marriages! Generosity can be found in simple acts of service and kindness. It can be ...
01.30.2019 When Others Don’t See Your Spouse as Abusive Abuse isn't just about physical violence. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging but is so much harder for other people to see. Many abusive husbands are good at playing the perfect partner in public and in front of the ...
01.23.2019 When Your Spouse is in Victim Mode We all know people who seem stuck in victim mode: people who think that the world is horribly unfair and bad things just always happen to them. Being married to someone with this mentality is hard as it can lead ...
01.16.2019 Coming to Terms With Your Unexpected Pregnancy An unexpected or unplanned pregnancy can be a real shock to the system. Whatever life plans you had suddenly fly out the window as you come to terms with your new role as a parent. But becoming a mother or ...
01.09.2019 Relational OCD Relational OCD or ROCD is a condition where a person experiences uncontrollable obsessive thoughts about their marriage or relationship. They may constantly fear that they are married to the wrong person, or else feel the need to compare their marriage ...
01.02.2019 How And When To Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Addiction A hidden pornography addiction can destroy marriages. But getting it out into the open and telling your wife (or husband) about it can be really challenging. You need to do so in a way that's honest and gives your spouse ...
12.26.2018 Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and the Impact on Marriage The Adverse Childhood Experiences Study examined over 17,000 individuals and recorded how trauma and negative experiences in childhood impacted the rest of their lives. They found that these early experiences can have serious impacts of all areas of your life, ...
12.19.2018 Couples Living With Extended Family Married couples living with parents, siblings and other family members is the norm in much of the world, and it's becoming increasingly common in North America too. But how does it affect your married life? Are extended family a burned ...
12.12.2018 Working Through Betrayal Trauma Trauma is often thought of as something that only happens to war veterans and first responders. But the shock of discovering that your spouse has been unfaithful to you can shake up your world and your sense of safety in ...
12.05.2018 Is Your Own Sexual History Dragging You Down? Even among Christians, not everyone comes to marriage without their share of sexual history. This baggage can create feelings of guilt and shame, leading you to stop enjoying sex with your spouse. This can be a very hard issue to ...
11.28.2018 Things To Think About Before You Start Making Babies How do you know when you're ready for children? Less than half of couples feel ready to be parents when expecting their first child, and that number gets even lower once the baby actually arrives. So if you're wondering about ...
11.21.2018 Betrayed by Your Husband? 5 Things You Need to Know Being betrayed by your spouse- either though infidelity, porn use or something else- can be an extremely traumatic thing to experience. Often we struggle to come to terms with the new reality of life and our sense of who we ...
11.14.2018 How Your Theology Impacts Your Sex Life Theology and sex might not seem like they have much to do with each other. But in reality how you think about sex, and how you think God views sex, both have a huge impact on your experience of it. ...
11.07.2018 Four Ways To Create More Intimacy In Your Marriage Intimacy is about so much more than having sex. It’s that deep sense of connection, trust and joy that we all want to feel in our marriages. In this episode, Verlynda and I show you how to build intimacy in ...
10.31.2018 The Top 10 Rules for Fair Fighting All couples fight sometimes. That's part of married life. The biggest issue isn't whether you fight, or how often, but how you act during conflict. Having a code of conduct or a general set of rules to follow can make ...
10.24.2018 A Husband’s Guide to Ejaculatory Control A huge number of men find it hard to control when they ejaculate during sex, and 88% of men worry that this issue is negatively impacting sex. Men report trying all kinds of physical and mental strategies to delay their ...
10.17.2018 How To Break Out of The Same Old Arguments So you're having a disagreement with your spouse, and you're falling back into the same pattern that you got stuck in last time. And the time before that. Many couples find themselves stuck in unhelpful cycles of conflict, often where ...
10.10.2018 About Showing Honor To Your Wife (1 Peter 3:7) The Bible is a fantastic place to turn for practical and powerful advice on how to make your marriage work. There are many verses throughout which can be used to gain new insights into how relationships are supposed to work ...
10.03.2018 I Am a Virgin and My Fiancee is Not As Christians we believe that God created sex to be enjoyed inside the confines of a loving marriage. But not everyone comes from this world, and even among Christian couples, sometimes you end up with a situation where one of ...
09.26.2018 Infertility And Its Impact on Marriage 1 in 10 couples will deal with infertility at least temporarily. For half that number, it may be a permanent issue. The inability to have children can throw all sorts of things into your marriage, from the pressures and expectations ...
09.19.2018 How Working from Home Impacts Your Marriage Here at OYF we've both been working from home for a while, and we've figured out how to make it work for our marriage and our family. But it can be a tricky one- balancing work and family when they're ...

Older episodes

The Marriage Podcast for Smart People

What's The Marriage Podcast for Smart People about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

The Marriage Podcast for Smart People episodes:

Why Church Leaders are Vulnerable to Infidelity and Pornography (& What To Do About It)

Is My Spouse a Sex Addict?

Why People Seek Marriage Counseling & What Approaches They Choose

How Shame Perpetuates Porn Addiction

How to Set Boundaries in a Kind Way

Unpack the Four Horsemen

How to Identify Your Emotions

How To Keep The Romance Alive in Your Marriage

Dealing with Your Shame and Guilt After Betrayal

How To Work With Your Spouse’s Betrayal Trauma Part 2

How To Work With Your Spouse’s Betrayal Trauma

Male Privilege in Marriage

How To Forgive Your Spouse After Betrayal

Why Your Husband Can’t Hear You During Conflict

How Empathy Deepens Intimacy

How Curiosity Deepens Intimacy

How Irreducibility Deepens Intimacy in Marriage

How Vulnerability Deepens Intimacy in Marriage

How Couples Can Grow Spiritually…Together

Cognitive Biases in Marriage: Reactance, Mood and Confirmation

Cognitive Biases in Marriage: Spotlight, Illusion of Transparency & Availability Heuristic

How To Make The Most of an Unhappy Marriage

When Your Spouse Doesn’t Share Your Faith

When Your Spouse Has Let Him/Herself Go and You Are Not Attracted

How Shift Work Impacts Marriage And What To Do About It

Here’s The Best Thing You Can Do After a Fight With Your Spouse

How To Help Your Husband Through His Man Cold

How Losing a Child Impacts Marriage

The Abusive Wife

How Generosity Could Transform Your Marriage

When Others Don’t See Your Spouse as Abusive

When Your Spouse is in Victim Mode

Coming to Terms With Your Unexpected Pregnancy

Relational OCD

How And When To Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Addiction

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and the Impact on Marriage

Couples Living With Extended Family

Working Through Betrayal Trauma

Is Your Own Sexual History Dragging You Down?

Things To Think About Before You Start Making Babies

Betrayed by Your Husband? 5 Things You Need to Know

How Your Theology Impacts Your Sex Life

Four Ways To Create More Intimacy In Your Marriage

The Top 10 Rules for Fair Fighting

A Husband’s Guide to Ejaculatory Control

How To Break Out of The Same Old Arguments

About Showing Honor To Your Wife (1 Peter 3:7)

I Am a Virgin and My Fiancee is Not

Infertility And Its Impact on Marriage

How Working from Home Impacts Your Marriage

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