The Marriage Podcast for Smart People

By Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele

Society & Culture Education

What's The Marriage Podcast for Smart People about?

Build a Marriage You’ll Love Today and Treasure for a Lifetime

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Why Is My Spouse So Control...

07.08.2020

Having a spouse who frequently wants to control you can be frustrating. But control issues commonly come from a specific place. Typically, they are rooted in fear, underlying mental health issues (sometimes linked to fear), perfectionism, low self-esteem, betrayal, insecurities, ...

The Marriage Podcast for Smart People episodes:

07.08.2020 Why Is My Spouse So Controlling? Having a spouse who frequently wants to control you can be frustrating. But control issues commonly come from a specific place. Typically, they are rooted in fear, underlying mental health issues (sometimes linked to fear), perfectionism, low self-esteem, betrayal, insecurities, ...
06.24.2020 Defining Emotionally Abusive Behavior Sometimes, when you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, it is hard to see it at the time. Knowing the signs of abuse can help you recognize it if your romantic relationship is emotionally abusive. Emotional abuse is always a ...
06.10.2020 How Do I Know When/If I Can Trust My Spouse After Betrayal? Infidelity is a difficult, often traumatic experience, and the process of healing takes time. Understanding the effects of betrayal trauma as well as the signs that your spouse is trustworthy again can help you in the journey of healing and ...
05.27.2020 The 5 Pillars of Attachment Understanding the five pillars of attachment helps you understand how your relationship with your primary caregiver has influenced the way you interact with your romantic partner. The five pillars of attachment are: a sense of felt safety, a sense of ...
05.13.2020 What Causes Infidelity? Infidelity can happen for many reasons, and individuals can experience it differently. Some spouses are fully aware of what they did and how it happened. Other spouses feel disconnected from their actions, and unsure about how they got there. There ...
04.22.2020 How To Balance Parenting and Marriage (Even During a Pandemic) Children always bring changes in your relationship with your spouse. It can be a challenge to create time for your spouse when the demands of parenting are competing for your time, but it’s important to prioritize making time for your ...
04.08.2020 How to Confront Your Husband About His Pornography Addiction Denial is common with any addiction, and pornography addiction is no exception. In this episode, we discuss how wives can approach their husbands about their pornography problem tactfully, yet deliberately. Confrontation is difficult, and in preparing to approach your husband ...
04.01.2020 Coronavirus and Your Marriage The present situation with the Coronavirus is affecting our lives significantly, and is likely impacting your marriage as well. Like any crisis, the Coronavirus is likely to cause increased stress levels for you and your spouse, as you experience the ...
03.25.2020 Key Things to Include When Disclosing Infidelity There are a few key things to know about disclosure before going into it. First of all, it is always better to disclose infidelity to your spouse willingly, rather than to have them discover it and be forced to disclose. ...
03.18.2020 6 Porn Groups To Help Your Recovery There are numerous different groups for helping people break out of pornography and sex addiction. It can be hard to know which one to choose. In this episode, we provide information about six different groups that are available. Pure Desire ...
03.11.2020 Responding to The Rage of Your Betrayed Spouse The effects of betrayal trauma can come as a surprise to the betraying spouse. Often, betrayal trauma comes with a number of negative emotions in the betrayed spouse. It is also common for spouses to experience the symptoms of PTSD, ...
03.04.2020 How Self-Compassion Can Help Your Marriage In Western culture, people commonly think of compassion as something that you extend to other people rather than yourself. Although the idea of self compassion originally came from Eastern religions, the Bible also talks about “loving one’s neighbor as oneself.” ...
02.26.2020 4 Key Things to Avoid When Disclosing Infidelity When you have committed infidelity of any kind, you should tell your spouse and not keep it a secret, hoping that they do not find out. When telling your spouse about your infidelity, the way that you approach it is ...
02.19.2020 Overwhelmed or Flooded? Here’s How To Calm Down During Conflict If you find yourself feeling suddenly overwhelmed when you are experiencing conflict with your spouse, you are experiencing what John Gottman calls flooding. This episode of the podcast talks about how to recognize flooding, and how to calm down when ...
02.12.2020 When Your Spouse Is Too Friendly With the Opposite Sex Married people often have many friendships outside of their marriage, some of which may be with people of the opposite gender. Navigating these relationships can be challenging as it involves balancing having friends of the opposite gender, but not allowing ...
02.05.2020 Why You Might Be Experiencing Pain During Sex (for Husbands) There are many possible reasons that intercourse may be painful for men. Regardless of what the problem is, it is important to find the root cause and get appropriate treatment. This episode includes information on the possible sources of pain ...
01.29.2020 Impact of Your Porn Use on Your Wife Many men fail to realize how much their porn addiction hurts their wives. Women who find out their husband has a porn addiction often feel extremely betrayed, and display symptoms of relational trauma. Furthermore, a wife feels even more hurt ...
01.22.2020 When Family Visits Are Traumatic Family visits can be a time of enjoying spending time with loved ones. But this is not the case for everyone. For some people, family visits are difficult or traumatic because of a toxic relationship with a family member. If ...
01.15.2020 Is Your Spouse Taking You For Granted? Do you feel like your spouse expects you to sacrifice your wants and desires for theirs? If so, be sure to listen to this episode of the podcast to learn what you can do to avoid making yourself vulnerable to ...
01.08.2020 Why You May Be Experiencing Pain During Sex (for Wives) Research shows that about 7% of women experience pain during sex. Whether this is a short-term or long-term problem, pain may make sex less enjoyable, and may even create tension between you and your partner. The good news is, there ...
01.01.2020 Betrayed By Your Wife? 5 Things You Need to Do Betrayal trauma can leave a spouse feeling deeply hurt, or even blaming themselves for their wife’s betrayal. It’s important to understand that feeling hurt and grieving over the betrayal are normal, and that healing can take time. Betrayal impacts men ...
12.18.2019 Why You Need To Touch Your Spouse More This episode offers a well-researched perspective on the importance of physical touch in marriage. Physical touch can take many forms. Some forms are sexual, but others are simply ways to communicate warmth and care to your spouse. Touch is also ...
12.11.2019 How Retirement Affects Marriage If you are moving into the retirement stage of life or have already retired, you may find that transitioning into retirement is putting stress on your marriage. Retirement can be a time to relax and enjoy life with your spouse ...
11.27.2019 Exploring the Links Between Attachment Style and Porn or Sex Addiction Pornography and Sexual addictions can be dark and difficult cycles that can make it hard to connect to your spouse. Often, people who struggle with these addictions have an avoidant, anxious or insecure attachment style, and it is helpful to ...
11.13.2019 Why You Really Need to Consider Emotional Labour in Your Marriage In marriage, couples often take on the emotions of others, in addition to themselves. When one spouse bears the burden of all of the emotional labour in the marriage, they can start to feel exhausted, or even burned out. There ...
11.06.2019 Secure Attachment in Marriage Our attachment style defines how we relate to others. It affects how we relate to others, how we feel about ourselves, and how well we are able to be in touch with our own emotions. Couples with a secure attachment ...
10.23.2019 Disorganized Attachment in Marriage If you find yourself struggling with wanting to be close to your spouse, but also pushing them away, you may have a disorganized attachment style. You may find that you feel conflicted between a strong desire to be close to ...
10.09.2019 Avoidant Attachment in Marriage Does your spouse tell you that the way you interact with them creates emotional distance? Do you find yourself putting up boundaries or avoiding having difficult conversations with your spouse? It may be that you have an avoidant attachment style. ...
09.25.2019 Anxious Attachment in Marriage How do you know if you have an anxious attachment? Do you find yourself frequently drawing attention to the bond between you and your spouse, constantly trying to repair connection between you, always seeking security in your relationship, or looking ...
09.18.2019 How Prayer Impacts Marriage In marriage, prayer is an important tool beyond its spiritual implications. In our physical reality, prayer has a clear and measurable effect as well. By helping us deal with stress better, see each other in a more positive light, and ...
09.11.2019 Why Church Leaders are Vulnerable to Infidelity and Pornography (& What To Do About It) Sometimes we forget that pastors are just as human as the rest of us. And it can be devastating to hear about a pastor who has been unfaithful. But it doesn’t have to be that way. When we examine what ...
09.04.2019 Is My Spouse a Sex Addict? Where is the line between a healthy love of sex and sex addiction? It boils down to the reasons for the behavior and their impact on the people closest to you. The deep roots of this very real addiction can ...
08.28.2019 Why People Seek Marriage Counseling & What Approaches They Choose The myth of the fairy tale ending tells us that after marriage, we will live happily ever after. While we can find happiness in marriage, we will have problems as well. Marriage counseling means recognizing that sometimes those problems are ...
08.21.2019 How Shame Perpetuates Porn Addiction Because you are hurt, lack something, or desire something, you might turn to porn as a coping mechanism, hoping that it will provide the feeling or fulfillment you seek. At the end of the day, porn is a maladaptive coping ...
08.14.2019 How to Set Boundaries in a Kind Way Most people have heard about boundaries and use them to try to create distance and cut off connection. However, boundaries are best used to create connection instead of ending it. By learning how to set boundaries in your marriage, you ...
08.07.2019 Unpack the Four Horsemen Four factors of communication are such clear indicators that a marriage is headed for failure that they’ve been named after the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Couples that fail to deal with them can be predicted to separate with 90% ...
07.31.2019 How to Identify Your Emotions Feelings can seem so difficult to understand. And why should you? After all, they aren’t the rational part of the brain, right? There are so many misconceptions about emotions, so you might have given up long ago on identifying them. ...
07.17.2019 How To Keep The Romance Alive in Your Marriage Marriages can be strange. You slog through the daily grind, but at least you’ve got your partner. You think that everything’s fine, but then one day you wake up and realize that you don’t feel close to your spouse anymore. ...
07.03.2019 Dealing with Your Shame and Guilt After Betrayal It’s not enough to simply help your spouse calm down after you have hurt them. You need to find a way to change so that you don’t repeat your betrayal. If you can embrace your failure and focus on changing ...
06.26.2019 How To Work With Your Spouse’s Betrayal Trauma Part 2 As you continue to help your spouse deal with the trauma of your betrayal, it can be exhausting and frustrating. But you are the one who hurt your spouse; you need to be there every step of the way. To ...
06.19.2019 How To Work With Your Spouse’s Betrayal Trauma Okay, so you said you were sorry. But getting over an affair can be difficult. You said you’re going to change, so why can’t your spouse just move on? When you hurt your spouse deeply, they will have lasting trauma ...
06.12.2019 Male Privilege in Marriage Ever wondered why your wife spends so much time putting on makeup? Or why she worries so much about what others think of her? Beyond toxic political debate, research shows that men do have advantages their wives do not. Acknowledging ...
06.05.2019 How To Forgive Your Spouse After Betrayal How could they do this? After everything you’ve been through together, after everything you’ve promised each other, they just set that aside and betrayed you, the one they claimed to love the most. At this point, forgiveness might seem like ...
05.29.2019 Why Your Husband Can’t Hear You During Conflict A problem has popped up in your marriage, but your spouse doesn’t seem to care. It’s easy to take it personally, but there’s more going on than meets the eye. Actually, because they care so deeply, something inside of them ...
05.22.2019 How Empathy Deepens Intimacy In an ideal world, you would fully understand your spouse. In reality, you must learn how to show empathy and give them the validation they need. By cultivating empathy, you will be able to find more stability and intimacy in ...
05.15.2019 How Curiosity Deepens Intimacy It’s not enough to know that your spouse is complex. It’s time to start exploring, and for that, you will need the power of curiosity. Curiosity is able to transform every situation into an opportunity to better understand one another. ...
05.08.2019 How Irreducibility Deepens Intimacy in Marriage How can your marriage work when the two of you are so wildly different? At the start of your marriage, it’s easy to overlook those differences. But the more you get to know your spouse, the more you realize that ...
05.01.2019 How Vulnerability Deepens Intimacy in Marriage By being vulnerable in your marriage, you can get hurt. Today we’ll take a look at how instead of hurting each other, you can learn to accept each other and find a deep sense of fulfillment and meaning. We will ...
04.24.2019 How Couples Can Grow Spiritually…Together Sometimes couples forget that they should be working together on their spiritual journey. Today we'll discover how sharing faith with your spouse and building on it will help you experience a deeper, more satisfying marriage. Plus we've got a few ...
04.17.2019 Cognitive Biases in Marriage: Reactance, Mood and Confirmation Today we continue our dive into the topic of cognitive biases: shortcuts and assumptions our minds make which sometimes get us into trouble. The brain is a pretty sophisticated thing, but sometimes it can affect how we interpret situations or ...

Older episodes

The Marriage Podcast for Smart People

What's The Marriage Podcast for Smart People about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

The Marriage Podcast for Smart People episodes:

Why Is My Spouse So Controlling?

Defining Emotionally Abusive Behavior

How Do I Know When/If I Can Trust My Spouse After Betrayal?

The 5 Pillars of Attachment

What Causes Infidelity?

How To Balance Parenting and Marriage (Even During a Pandemic)

How to Confront Your Husband About His Pornography Addiction

Coronavirus and Your Marriage

Key Things to Include When Disclosing Infidelity

6 Porn Groups To Help Your Recovery

Responding to The Rage of Your Betrayed Spouse

How Self-Compassion Can Help Your Marriage

4 Key Things to Avoid When Disclosing Infidelity

Overwhelmed or Flooded? Here’s How To Calm Down During Conflict

When Your Spouse Is Too Friendly With the Opposite Sex

Why You Might Be Experiencing Pain During Sex (for Husbands)

Impact of Your Porn Use on Your Wife

When Family Visits Are Traumatic

Is Your Spouse Taking You For Granted?

Why You May Be Experiencing Pain During Sex (for Wives)

Betrayed By Your Wife? 5 Things You Need to Do

Why You Need To Touch Your Spouse More

How Retirement Affects Marriage

Exploring the Links Between Attachment Style and Porn or Sex Addiction

Why You Really Need to Consider Emotional Labour in Your Marriage

Secure Attachment in Marriage

Disorganized Attachment in Marriage

Avoidant Attachment in Marriage

Anxious Attachment in Marriage

How Prayer Impacts Marriage

Why Church Leaders are Vulnerable to Infidelity and Pornography (& What To Do About It)

Is My Spouse a Sex Addict?

Why People Seek Marriage Counseling & What Approaches They Choose

How Shame Perpetuates Porn Addiction

How to Set Boundaries in a Kind Way

Unpack the Four Horsemen

How to Identify Your Emotions

How To Keep The Romance Alive in Your Marriage

Dealing with Your Shame and Guilt After Betrayal

How To Work With Your Spouse’s Betrayal Trauma Part 2

How To Work With Your Spouse’s Betrayal Trauma

Male Privilege in Marriage

How To Forgive Your Spouse After Betrayal

Why Your Husband Can’t Hear You During Conflict

How Empathy Deepens Intimacy

How Curiosity Deepens Intimacy

How Irreducibility Deepens Intimacy in Marriage

How Vulnerability Deepens Intimacy in Marriage

How Couples Can Grow Spiritually…Together

Cognitive Biases in Marriage: Reactance, Mood and Confirmation

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