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The Myth of Manipulative Kids: Why It’s Really a Call for Safety & Connection
In today’s episode, we’re unpacking one of the most common (and damaging) myths in parenting — the idea that kids are “manipulating” us when they act out.
What’s really happening beneath the behaviour? Often it’s a dysregulated nervous system, an unmet need, and a deep call for connection.
In this conversation, we’ll explore:
✨ Why the “manipulative child” myth exists — and why it’s outdated
✨ How young children’s nervous systems really work
✨ Why co-regulation is more powerful than correction
✨ How labels like “manipulative” create shame and disconnection
✨ Simple ways to shift your perspective and support your child through those big moments
This is not about permissive parenting — it’s about understanding the human beneath the behaviour, and parenting from a place of nervous system awareness and relational safety.
✨ Mentioned in this episode:
Want practical tools to support your own nervous system (especially on those tough parenting days)?
Check out my Chill Out Course here
Take what you need, leave what you don’t. You know your child best — and this is your unique parenting journey. Thanks for tuning in! 💛
Timestamps
00:00 Introduction to The Filosophy Podcast
00:48 Parenting as Self-Reflection
01:18 The Myth of Manipulative Kids
02:56 Understanding Children's Behaviour
03:52 The Importance of Connection
05:43 Nervous System and Child Development
07:35 Supporting Your Nervous System as a Parent (featuring the Chill Out Course)
08:42 Reevaluating the Idea of Manipulation in Children
11:14 The Impact of Labelling Children
14:23 Co-Regulation and Parenting Strategies
17:46 Final Thoughts on Parenting
View all episodes
By Fionna FindleyIn today’s episode, we’re unpacking one of the most common (and damaging) myths in parenting — the idea that kids are “manipulating” us when they act out.
What’s really happening beneath the behaviour? Often it’s a dysregulated nervous system, an unmet need, and a deep call for connection.
In this conversation, we’ll explore:
✨ Why the “manipulative child” myth exists — and why it’s outdated
✨ How young children’s nervous systems really work
✨ Why co-regulation is more powerful than correction
✨ How labels like “manipulative” create shame and disconnection
✨ Simple ways to shift your perspective and support your child through those big moments
This is not about permissive parenting — it’s about understanding the human beneath the behaviour, and parenting from a place of nervous system awareness and relational safety.
✨ Mentioned in this episode:
Want practical tools to support your own nervous system (especially on those tough parenting days)?
Check out my Chill Out Course here
Take what you need, leave what you don’t. You know your child best — and this is your unique parenting journey. Thanks for tuning in! 💛
Timestamps
00:00 Introduction to The Filosophy Podcast
00:48 Parenting as Self-Reflection
01:18 The Myth of Manipulative Kids
02:56 Understanding Children's Behaviour
03:52 The Importance of Connection
05:43 Nervous System and Child Development
07:35 Supporting Your Nervous System as a Parent (featuring the Chill Out Course)
08:42 Reevaluating the Idea of Manipulation in Children
11:14 The Impact of Labelling Children
14:23 Co-Regulation and Parenting Strategies
17:46 Final Thoughts on Parenting