Do you wrestle with the power your thoughts have over your beliefs about yourself and your life? This episode is for you, heroine.Bestselling author and founder of The Work, my guest Byron Katie shares her experience waking up in a state of joy after a decade-long spiral into depression, rage, and self-loathing. This state of joy hasn’t left her since, and Byron has shared this transformational practice with others for over 30 years. The Work is a simple, yet powerful process of inquiry that teaches us to identify and question the thoughts that cause us suffering.In this episode, Byron and I discuss her battle with depression, and the moment of her awakening (which she credits to a cockroach). She explains the principles of The Work, and the four key questions we need to ask in order to change our beliefs. This episode is filled with practical, simple steps to help you become more conscious of your thoughts and free yourself from suffering. If you feel stuck in your beliefs – about your identity, your work, or your relationships – by the end of this episode, you’ll see a way out by going inward.Show Notes- Byron’s childhood as a quiet, solitary young girl- Her decade-long experience with depression in her thirties- Byron re-lives the moment of awakening that pivoted her entire life trajectory- How The Work was born- Find out why Byron gives all the credit for her moment of awakening to a cockroach- The types of thoughts that hold us back and the four questions we need to ask them- The importance of uncovering the cause and the reaction to the thoughts we believe- Why intelligence is questioning and freedom is choosing the thoughts we believe- The difference between sitting in the “I know” mind as apposed the “curious” mindReferencesByron Katie - The Work - https://thework.com/Byron Katie on Twitter - https://twitter.com/ByronKatieByron Katie on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/byron.katie/Byron Katie on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatieA Mind at Home with Itself - https://www.amazon.com/Mind-Home-Itself-Asking-Questions/dp/0062651609Loving What Is - Four Questions That Can Change Your Life - https://www.amazon.com/Loving-What-Four-Questions-Change/dp/1400045371/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords;=loving+what+is&qid;=1598781393&sr;=8-1A Thousand Names for Joy - https://www.amazon.com/Thousand-Names-Joy-Living-Harmony/dp/0307339246

The 4 Questions That Can Change Your Life and Mind - Byron Katie

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There are a lot of things wrong with the way we live our lives. While the average American spends 90 percent of their day indoors, we continue to feel completely disconnected from our food sources, and are lonelier than ever, especially in light of this pandemic. My guest Becca Piastrelli, author of a new book Root & Ritual, believes we can offset some of this modern angst by “rewilding” and reclaiming the natural part of ourselves. Becca is a friend, writer, speaker, ancestral folk medicine keeper, and women’s group facilitator. I’m thrilled to share her journey and work with you!In this episode, Becca describes how she grew up with an ache of unbelonging, and an inner knowledge that there had to be more to life than what she was taught by her family and the patriarchal, convenience-driven society within which she was raised. Acknowledging that change is very difficult, she shares her thoughts on connecting with our ancestry, navigating the pandemic, and handling grief. Her book Root & Ritual which I highly recommend offers practical wisdom, processes, and recipes for reconnecting with land, lineage, and community. Tune in today to learn more about her work that embracing old ways can make our modern lives feel significantly better.• Becca shares the anxiety she experienced growing up, and why she developed impostor syndrome at a young age.• The four parts which make up Becca’s book, Root and Ritual.• How Becca’s relationship with nature has evolved over time.• Different meanings that rewilding can hold.• Obstacles to rewilding that exist in our society. • The value that Becca believes lies in embracing ancestral ways of living. • Everyday experiences which highlight how disconnected we are from nature.• What Becca’s life currently looks like, and how she plans to change it.• The importance of human connection, which we are losing.• Becca shares her thoughts on navigating different opinions about the COVID-19 vaccine. • Our “great severing” from our ancestors.• A process Becca went through to rebuild lost ties to her ancestry.• Personal challenges that Becca has gone through, and her method of dealing with them.• Becca’s relationship with shame.• The long journey that is rewilding.• What Becca is currently reclaiming. ReferencesBecca Piastrelli - https://beccapiastrelli.com/Root and Ritual - https://beccapiastrelli.com/book/Break the Good Girl Myth - https://majomolfino.com/bookHEROINE (Podcast) - https://majomolfino.com/podcast

Root and Ritual — Becca Piastrelli

Writing a debut novel that becomes a New York Times bestseller is an impressive feat. Doing it over 10 years while raising children and working a full-time job is simply awe-inspiring. Angeline Boulley is the author of Firekeeper's Daughter, a layered Native American thriller. She is an enrolled member of the Sault Ste. Marie Tribe of Chippewa Indians and writes about her Ojibwe community. In today's episode, we learn more about Daunis Fountaine, the book's main character, and her distinctive character traits. While there are similarities between Angeline and Daunis, the teen character blossomed into something unique and fierce. We hear some moving excerpts from the book, and Angeline talks about the gravity of the regalia and elder scenes in the work. Our conversation also touches on the complexity of strong women, why the book is not a trauma story, and we also find out more about what Angeline's fascinating writing process was like. This moving dialogue around the power of women creators and the role they play in shaping their cultural stories will lift your spirits and potentially change your life.  • Hear about what Angeline was like as a little girl. • Where Angeline grew up and insights into her cultural background. • Hear about what Firekeeper's Daughter's main character, Daunis Fountaine, is like. • How similar and different Daunis is from Angeline. • What Daunis's greatest virtue and greatest flaw are. • The tension that Daunis feels struggling with different aspects of her identity. • Why it was so important for Angeline to convey the significance of Daunis's regalia. • The role that elders play in the book and how Angeline views elders in all of our lives. • Why it was so important for Angeline to include the complex Aunty character in her book. • We do strong women an injustice when we place them on pedestals. • How the word "resilient” is often misused to justify suffering. • The balance Angeline had to find between telling the truth and overloading Daunis with tragedy. • How Angeline found time to write the book while raising children and having a job. • What Angeline has learned about being kinder to herself from having children. • The impact that having teenagers had on Angeline's ability to write a teen character. • Why Angeline decided to make her first book the epic work it is. • How Angeline learned the craft of fiction, given that she did not study creative writing. • The support that Angeline had during her writing journey. • Angeline's tips for aspiring writers: find what works for you. • What Angeline, as a heroine, feels she is reclaiming for herself.ReferencesAngeline Boulley - https://angelineboulley.com/Angeline Boulley on Twitter - https://twitter.com/FineAngeline?ref_src=twsrc%255Egoogle%257Ctwcamp%255Eserp%257Ctwgr%255EauthorFirekeeper's Daughter - https://www.amazon.com/Firekeepers-Daughter-Angeline-Boulley/dp/1250766567We Need Diverse Books - https://diversebooks.org/Break the Good Girl Myth - https://majomolfino.com/bookMajo Molfino - https://majomolfino.com/HEROINE (Podcast) - https://majomolfino.com/podcast

Writing Our Stories into Being — Angeline Boulley

How do you relate to the country of your birth, if it’s a place you’ve never visited? And when does nostalgia go from being something beautiful to an illness that keeps you from living in the present moment? Our guest today, Safia Elhillo is a Sudanese American poet whose strikingly beautiful debut novel Home Is Not a Country is deeply informed by these questions of belonging, nostalgia, and identity. Her book is written entirely in poetic verse and follows the story of Nima, a 15-year-old girl who longs to escape the racism and bullying she experiences daily in America and become someone else. Safia shares how she was first drawn to poetry because of the sense of community she saw amongst poets at open mic night and how she steadily honed her craft. We discuss the challenges immigrant parents face in imparting their culture to their children and how nostalgia can deprive you of appreciating the richness of your present circumstances. Join us today for an insightful and meaningful conversation on what it means to straddle two worlds and the power of community.• Introducing today’s guest Safia Elhillo• Safia shares what she was like as a child and how she discovered her talent for poetry. • Safia’s experiences moving around a lot as a child and insights into her cultural background. • How Safia was first drawn to the sense of community among the poets she saw.• Hear about Home Is Not a Country’s main character Nima and how Safia created her.• How nostalgia and its effects inform the topic of Safia’s book.• How Nima is driven by a desire to return to the country her parents came from.• Nima’s experiences of racism, rejection, and loneliness in the US.• The extent to which Home Is Not a Country is autobiographical.• How Home Is Not a Country explores the confusion of growing up in America while straddling two cultures.• Safia shares her experiences of belonging and how her perspective has changed.• The significance of a chosen community.• Safia explains the concept of nostalgia as an illness.• The challenges that immigrant parents face in raising their children to care about a culture they are not immersed in.• The use of magical realism and Islamic mythology in Home Is Not a Country.• The logistical challenges Safia faced in using time travel in her novel.• How Safia chose to write the entire novel in poetic verse.• Why it’s important to allow yourself to write a bad first draft.• The value of community and outside input for revising your work.ReferencesSafia Elhillo on Twitter - https://twitter.com/mafiasafiaSafia Elhillo on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/safiamafia/Home Is Not a Country - https://www.amazon.com/Home-Not-Country-Safia-Elhillo/dp/0593177053Break the Good Girl Myth - https://majomolfino.com/bookMajo Molfino - https://majomolfino.com/HEROINE (Podcast) - https://majomolfino.com/podcast

Home Is Not A Country — Safia Elhillo

Continuing with our series on women in the literary arts, today’s guest is Mary H.K. Choi, a Korean-American New York Times best-selling author. Mary has written three young adult novels and has been published in The Atlantic, New York Times, and GQ. Her latest book, Yolk, is the story of two estranged sisters who slowly heal their relationship after one of them is diagnosed with cancer. In our wide-ranging conversation today, we talk about Mary’s journey to becoming a writer and some of the beliefs she had to let go of to get to where she is. We then dive into Yolk, where Mary talks about the similarities between her and one of the main characters, Jane. Mary unpacks why it was important for her to write about an eating disorder and having a fraught relationship with your body. Not only does this reflect Mary’s personal experience, but it also comments on the broader pressures within east Asian communities regarding physical appearance. We also touch on intergenerational trauma and why Mary thinks it’s an inevitable outcome of the immigrant experience, race, and the power of sibling hood as an immigrant. To hear all this and more, tune in today!• Hear what Mary was like as a little girl and her naturally inquisitive, scrappy nature. • When Mary realized that she wanted to be a writer and the pain that came with this realization. • The difficulty Mary faced trying to break into mainstream media. • For many years, Mary waited for permission, or for a break based on her merit. • A synopsis of Mary’s latest book, Yolk, and the similarities between her and the main character, Jane. • The struggles Mary has had with eating disorders throughout her life. • Why it was so important for Mary to talk about bulimia in her book. • How Jane’s low self-worth and insecurity reflect what happens to many women of color. • The different yolk signifiers and why Mary chose this as the name of the book. • Why Mary chose to explore sisterhood in Yolk, despite not having sisters herself. • Mary’s fraught relationship with America and how she thinks about her identity. • Having a brother gave Mary someone to talk to about their unique immigrant experience. • Representations of East Asian men in the media and how this differs from representations of East Asian women. • How Mary chose to bring up the issue of race in a non-prescriptive way. • What Mary has learned from her characters about what it means to break free.ReferencesMary H.K. Choi - http://www.choitotheworld.com/Mary H.K. Choi on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/choitotheworld/?hl=enMary H.K. Choi on Twitter - https://twitter.com/choitotheworld?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5EauthorYolk - https://www.amazon.com/Yolk-Mary-H-K-Choi/dp/1534446001Emergency Contact - https://www.amazon.com/Emergency-Contact-Mary-H-Choi/dp/1534408967Permanent Record - https://www.amazon.com/Permanent-Record-Mary-H-Choi/dp/1534445978‎Hey, Cool Life! - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hey-cool-life/id1448378735‎Hey, Cool Job! - <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hey-cool-job/id984365487"...

Healing Intergenerational Trauma Through Story — Mary H.K. Choi

The conversation around identity has evolved greatly in recent years, and this progress has been so important for many people. However there is still a long way to go to a more inclusive and accepting world, and we are joined today by someone who is adding a beautiful and complex voice to the discussion! Meredith Talusan is a transgendered woman, born with albinism in the Philippines, and who later immigrated to the US. Her relationship to acceptance and belonging has always been a complex one, a relationship she explores in her book, Fairest, and in today's episode! We get to dive deep into her journey, talking about external perceptions and inner realities, her writing for many prominent publications, and her current role as contributing editor at Them, Conde Nast's LGBTQ online platform. We look closely at her move to the US and time at Harvard, and how this influenced her life's trajectory and her professional and personal decisions. Meredith also talks about the art and literature that played a huge role for her, and how she tries to avoid too many comparisons and stark binaries. This is a beautiful and nuanced conversation from someone with an amazing story and the ability to unpack it honestly and insightfully, so make sure to join us!• Meredith's curious early years, growing up in the cultural melting pot of the Philippines. • How being born with albinism impacted Meredith's feeling of never fully belonging.• Meredith's work on a sitcom and soap opera, and the dynamic this created with her mother. • Feelings around being treated a certain way due to appearance; Meredith's mixed emotions.• Meredith's experiences and reflections on leaving the Philippines as a teenager. • The constant process of learning and growing; navigating life with fewer examples to follow. • Literature and stories that impacted Meredith and how these aided her on her journey.• The evolution of the academic approach to 'minority literature' over the last few decades.• How Meredith came to terms with and appreciated her particular experiences. • The influence that Meredith's life story had on her success and publication as a writer.• Uncertainty and complexity within the transgender experience; adding nuance to the discourse. • Meredith's gender identity and her hope for a different world. • Considering the possibility of a space beyond identity and Meredith's perspectives on spirituality.ReferencesIgnite Leadership Program - https://majo-molfino.mykajabi.com/igniteMeredith Talusan - http://mtalusan.com/Fairest - https://www.amazon.com/Fairest-Memoir-Meredith-Talusan/dp/0525561307Meredith Talusan on Twitter - https://twitter.com/1demerithThem - https://www.them.us/Jane Austen - https://www.britannica.com/biography/Jane-AustenGeorge Eliot - https://www.britannica.com/biography/George-EliotVirginia Woolf - https://www.britannica.com/biography/Virginia-WoolfJames Baldwin - https://www.britannica.com/biography/James-BaldwinLangston Hughes - https://poets.org/poet/langston-hughesJennifer Finney Boylan -...

The 4 Questions That Can Change Your Life and Mind - Byron Katie

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