Ep. 33 | The Real Guru Is Within, This Happened Because It Had To

Call and Response Ep. 33 | The Real Guru Is Within, This Happened Because It Had To

 “There’s no Guru outside of yourself. Guru is not that body. Guru might be in a body if we need it, if that’s the best thing for us but Guru, God, Self are the same. Guru, God, and Self are One. And nobody’s going to come along and touch you and make it all perfect. You know? Unless somebody comes along and touches you and makes it all perfect.” – Krishna Das

Q: Mahalo, Krishna Das. I wish some of my friends were here to see me speechless. It doesn’t happen often.

KD: Praise the Lord.

Q: Mahalo, in part, for sharing the humanity of the practice.

KD: I’m sorry?

Q: Mahalo for sharing the humanity, the story, because even though the story is not us, so much of what you shared tonight was just for me.  To be succinct, I was in not a dissimilar situation where I was teaching and began to be a door to and things were starting to spread horizontally but I wanted to go vertical. I wanted to go deeper. I ran from there, from the whole experience.  I ran. I lived in six different countries to run away from it and guess what, I ended up teaching there, too and I was suffocated by my own self. And I have run away from it, as far as I can but I got back to California, which is kind of like my school, and I know I can get lost in love but I also want to find myself in love. You know, I need to get back and I’ve been blessed to have you and a dozen other teachers in my life who’ve been incredibly generous but I’m not from a group or somebody that I can totally let go into. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cry. I guess I’m defrosting from being tough for years. I just, the fact that I’m even asking a question and trusting… I’ve had a long relationship with you, for almost 25 years and I just, the word that keeps coming up is I need to, it’s grace brought me here. I know that it’s grace that brought me here tonight. I came from L.A. I rather wanted to be here tonight. I don’t know how to find the courage or the way back. Practice, yeah. I do it all. None of it matters. I try to surrender with every thought and I’m just blah blah blah blahing.  I’m just ready. I feel the ripening and I am speaking it out because I haven’t spoken it to another soul in twelve years. The closest thing to the guru experience that you mention, the place of home and joy and beauty and the longing is nature. Nature has saved my butt in everywhere I’ve lived. If it wasn’t for nature, for animals, for everything that surrounds me that’s alive like that, I would, I don’t know what would have happened.

What do I do without a guru? Something that I can, like you say, hold onto in a way

KD: I guess there’s no hope for you.

Q: Good then I can go have some fun.

KD: I’ll meet you over there.  There’s no Guru outside of yourself. Guru is not that body. Guru might be in a body if we need it, if that’s the best thing for us but Guru, God, Self are the same. Guru, God, and Self are One. And nobody’s going to come along and touch you and make it all perfect. You know? Unless somebody comes along and touches you and makes it all perfect.

But until that time, relax. Take it easy. What’s the problem? The things that are happening now, Maharajji put in motion 50 years ago. He didn’t tell me. He didn’t ask me. The things that are happening now might have started in motion a hundred lifetimes ago. I don’t remember. You don’t remember. All we can do is the best we can do and be ourselves and treat people well. There’s not something to know. The one who wants to know is the one who has to go. Now, there’s a t-shirt. Hey.

Alright I said it. Nobody else said it.

I got the copyright.

The one who wants to know is the one who has to go. All right. Let me write that down.

It’s just more self-obsession. Yada yada yada. I want this. I want this. I don’t want this. It’s gotta be this way. I need this. I need that.

Next.