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The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show - Episode 13 - Essex
💅📻 Watch out, Essex — The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show has landed, and it’s bringing more drama than a reality TV reunion in a chip shop! 📻💅
That’s right, Episode 13 is here, and we’ve rolled into the land of fake tans, fast cars, and now… questionable quiz-based entertainment. If you thought breakfast was meant to be relaxing, think again — this show’s got more twists than a curly fry in a wind tunnel.
🎙️ Leading the madness is Retro Mike Kennedy, the man who absolutely deserves his own spin-off called The Only Way Is Retro. He’s got the charm of a vintage toaster, the style of a man who shops exclusively in charity shops labelled “1983,” and the ability to derail a game faster than you can say “what’s the question again?”
👑 Team Captains Who Are Plotting Their Escape:
- Wanted Joe – Still wanted, still Joe, still wondering if this is a quiz show or a cry for help. He’s got one eye on the scoreboard and the other on the nearest exit.
- Jenni Wenni – Our incontinent queen of sass and slippers. She’s only here because she thought it was a trip to the garden centre. Now she’s counting down the minutes until bingo night at the care home. She’s smiling sweetly, but her eyes say “I will end this with a slipper.”
🧃 Special Guests Who Are Confused and Confusing:
- Luke – He’s surprised Tamika isn’t a man. He’s also surprised by most things, including the concept of time, the rules of the game, and the fact that the buzzers don’t dispense jelly. He’s here, he’s confused, and he’s wearing socks with dinosaurs on them.
- Tamika – She’s surprised Luke is allowed out this late. She’s also surprised by the fact that this show exists. She’s got glitter in her hair, chaos in her soul, and a vague understanding that she’s supposed to be answering questions — but only if they involve sequins or sandwiches.
💥 This episode is less quiz show, more chaotic group therapy. It’s the three-ring circus you didn’t ask for, hosted by a man who thinks “streaming” means watching raindrops on a window while humming 80s jingles.
So grab your glitter, your bingo card, and your lowest expectations — because this isn’t just a quiz show. It’s a full-blown Essex extravaganza with extra confusion and a side of jelly.
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By Retro Mike Kennedy💅📻 Watch out, Essex — The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show has landed, and it’s bringing more drama than a reality TV reunion in a chip shop! 📻💅
That’s right, Episode 13 is here, and we’ve rolled into the land of fake tans, fast cars, and now… questionable quiz-based entertainment. If you thought breakfast was meant to be relaxing, think again — this show’s got more twists than a curly fry in a wind tunnel.
🎙️ Leading the madness is Retro Mike Kennedy, the man who absolutely deserves his own spin-off called The Only Way Is Retro. He’s got the charm of a vintage toaster, the style of a man who shops exclusively in charity shops labelled “1983,” and the ability to derail a game faster than you can say “what’s the question again?”
👑 Team Captains Who Are Plotting Their Escape:
- Wanted Joe – Still wanted, still Joe, still wondering if this is a quiz show or a cry for help. He’s got one eye on the scoreboard and the other on the nearest exit.
- Jenni Wenni – Our incontinent queen of sass and slippers. She’s only here because she thought it was a trip to the garden centre. Now she’s counting down the minutes until bingo night at the care home. She’s smiling sweetly, but her eyes say “I will end this with a slipper.”
🧃 Special Guests Who Are Confused and Confusing:
- Luke – He’s surprised Tamika isn’t a man. He’s also surprised by most things, including the concept of time, the rules of the game, and the fact that the buzzers don’t dispense jelly. He’s here, he’s confused, and he’s wearing socks with dinosaurs on them.
- Tamika – She’s surprised Luke is allowed out this late. She’s also surprised by the fact that this show exists. She’s got glitter in her hair, chaos in her soul, and a vague understanding that she’s supposed to be answering questions — but only if they involve sequins or sandwiches.
💥 This episode is less quiz show, more chaotic group therapy. It’s the three-ring circus you didn’t ask for, hosted by a man who thinks “streaming” means watching raindrops on a window while humming 80s jingles.
So grab your glitter, your bingo card, and your lowest expectations — because this isn’t just a quiz show. It’s a full-blown Essex extravaganza with extra confusion and a side of jelly.