🎉🥓 Brace yourselves Cardiff — The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show is BACK for Episode 5 and it’s more Welsh than a choir of sheep harmonising in a thunderstorm! 🐑🎶

That’s right, your favourite breakfast-time bonanza has rolled into the majestic land of dragons, daffodils, and deeply confused contestants. Retro Mike Kennedy has returned to his homeland of Wales — passport stamped, accent thicker than treacle, and armed with trivia so niche even the locals are baffled.

📍 Location Update: Welcome to Cardiff, the city of culture, castles, and questionable karaoke. We’ve parked the quiz-mobile next to a Greggs and already offended three locals by mispronouncing “Llanfairpwllgwyngyll.”

🎙️ This week’s beautiful breakfast buffet of buffoonery features:

• Retro Mike Kennedy – Back on home turf and ready to defend the honour of Welsh toast. He’s wearing a leek hat, humming Tom Jones classics, and calling everyone “boyo” whether it makes sense or not.
• Wanted Joe – Still wanted, still Joe. He’s brought a Welsh-English dictionary that he thinks is a spellbook. Last seen trying to summon trivia answers from a plate of bara brith.
• Jenni Wenni – Your favourite incontinent pensioner. She’s here with her trusty flask of tea, a new walking stick made from a broom handle, and a cardigan that somehow has its own postcode.

🌟 Special Guests Who Definitely Need Supervision:

• Tamika – She still doesn’t know what day it is, where she is, or why Retro Mike keeps feeding her Welsh cakes. She may be spiritually in Cardiff but mentally still in Episode 2.
• Little Baby Luke – The freshest face in quiz history. He’s had special permission from his mum to be out past bedtime, but only if he doesn’t cry when someone says “pass.” He’s wearing dinosaur pyjamas and thinks the buzzers are snack dispensers. He's adorable, chaotic, and may or may not have eaten half the score sheet.

🧠 Team Dynamics: With Tamika in a daze and Baby Luke chewing on a microphone, Jenni Wenni and Wanted Joe have their work cut out for them. Between nappy changes and philosophical tangents about toast, these two veterans must carry the team like a pair of bewildered donkeys dragging a broken caravan uphill.

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🎵 Let’s Brighten the Land of Song: Forget harps and valleys — this is music made from buzzers, laughter, and random screaming. It’s less “Land of Song” and more “Land of Oh-No-What-Now?” But by golly, it’s beautiful.