🌊⚓️ Ahoy there, South Hampton! The Retro Breakfast Quiz Show has gone full nautical and the ship of sanity has officially sailed! ⚓️🌊

That’s right — Episode 8 is dropping anchor in the seaside city of South Hampton, and things are about to get wetter, weirder, and wildly more ridiculous than ever before. If you thought breakfast and boats don’t mix, just wait until you hear our attempt at Battleships… on the radio. Spoiler: it’s mostly shouting and confusion.

🎙️ At the helm of this floating circus is none other than Retro Mike Kennedy — the UK’s answer to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Mike’s got the charisma of a cruise director and the energy of a man who’s had three espressos and a bowl of Frosties.

🛟 Joining him on this voyage of verbal chaos:

• Wanted Joe – Still wanted, still Joe, still convinced that “nautical” means wearing socks with anchors on them. He’s brought his worst puns, his loudest shirts, and a compass that only points to disappointment.
• Jenni Wenni – Our incontinent queen of the high seas. She’s packed her waterproof knitting, her flask of “sea medicine” (it’s just gin), and a life jacket made entirely of bubble wrap. She’s ready to sink ships and spirits alike.

🍼 Special Guests Who Shouldn’t Be Near Open Water:

• Little Baby Luke – He’s back, he’s adorable, and he has a strict bedtime of 6pm. Which is unfortunate, because the show starts at 6:01. He’s currently napping in a lifeboat and occasionally waking up to shout “banana!” into the mic.
• Adrien – Our favourite foreign correspondent, now visibly uncomfortable being this close to immigration and a customs office. He’s trying to play along but keeps mistaking “port” for wine and “stern” for an insult.

🚢 This Episode’s Highlight: A Radio Version of Battleships!

Yes, we’re attempting the classic naval strategy game… on the radio. It’s mostly:

• People yelling “B7!” with no idea what it means
• Jenni Wenni accusing Luke of cheating
• Adrien trying to sink a ship using interpretive dance
• Retro Mike narrating the whole thing like it’s Master and Commander meets Bake Off

🧂 Who comes up with this rubbish? We don’t know. We suspect it’s a committee made entirely of sleep-deprived toddlers and one rogue seagull. But we salute them.

So grab your life vest and your lowest expectations — because this isn’t just a quiz show. It’s a full-blown maritime meltdown with extra jam.