The data tells us rewarding kids for good behavior and punishing them for bad doesn’t work. In fact, it harms relationships. In the education setting and at home, Alfie Kohn says we need to rethink the way we talk to kids, and how we help them learn behavioral skills, because rewards and punishment are ineffective. Emily Kircher-Morris has a conversation with Alfie Kohn, author of Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason, on episode 115. ABOUT THE GUEST - Alfie Kohn is the author of 14 books on education, parenting, and human behavior, including Punished by Rewards (1993), The Schools Our Children Deserve (1999), Unconditional Parenting (2005), and The Myth of the Spoiled Child (2014).  He has appeared twice on Oprah, as well as on The Today Show and many other TV and radio programs. Kohn works with educators and parents across the country and speaks regularly at national conferences. He lives (actually) in the Boston area and (virtually) at www.alfiekohn.org. Alfie Kohn’s books https://www.alfiekohn.org/books/ Twitter https://twitter.com/alfiekohn You can support the podcast and receive subscriber-only benefits at www.patreon.com/neurodiversity. The Neurodiversity Podcast is available on Facebook and Instagram, and on Twitter @NeurodiversePod. For more information go to www.NeurodiversityPodcast.com

The Rewards and Punishment Paradox with Alfie Kohn

The Neurodiversity Podcast talks with leaders in the fields of psychology, education, and beyond, about positively impacting neurodivergent people. Our goal is to reframe differences that were once considered disabilities or disorders, promote awareness of this unique population, and improve the lives of neurodivergent and high-ability people.

Kids & Family

Parenting

Health & Fitness

Mental Health

We’re talking STEM today, and Emily Kircher-Morris is joined by Dr. Arash Zaghi, a professor in the Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering at the University of Connecticut, to discuss the importance of neurodiversity in STEM fields. They talk about the need for diverse perspectives and ways of thinking to solve complex problems in science and engineering. There’s a value in different types of contributions, such as creative ideas and detailed execution plans, and a need to shift the focus from deficits to strengths. They also discuss the importance of creating a sense of belonging for neurodivergent students in academia and the need for faculty to be more supportive and inclusive. Takeaways   Neurodiversity in STEM fields is crucial for solving complex problems and creating innovative solutions.   The focus should shift from individual skills to the true meaning of diversity, bringing together different perspectives and ways of thinking.   Creating a sense of belonging is essential for the success of neurodivergent students in STEM fields.   Faculty should be more supportive and inclusive, valuing diverse contributions and providing options for different types of learning and assessment.   Neurodivergent individuals should embrace their strengths and bring their whole selves to their academic and professional pursuits.   To learn more about the Neurodiversity University courses for educators, click the link, and get in touch with us through the contact page if you have questions. Join the Neurodiversity Podcast Advocacy & Support Group on Facebook! Arash E. Zaghi is a Professor in the Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering at the University of Connecticut. His research is focused on engineering education, emphasizing the role of neurodiversity in fostering creativity within the engineering workforce, as well as strength-based approaches to diversity. Arash’s interdisciplinary work aims to develop personalized tools for middle-school students with dyslexia to engage in STEM, leveraging AI, neuroscience, and education research. Professor Zaghi was diagnosed with ADHD at 33, and his dedication to neurodiversity in engineering education has earned him multiple recognitions, including from Prism Magazine of the American Society of Engineering Education. He holds a PhD in Civil Engineering from the University of Nevada, Reno and is a strong advocate of neurodiversity in STEM education. He hosts the Square Pegs podcast, where he further explores these themes. Square Pegs Podcast via Spotify

Unlocking the Power of Neurodiversity in STEM

In this episode of the Neurodiversity Podcast, Emily Kircher-Morris answers questions submitted by members of the Neurodiversity Podcast Advocacy and Support Group on Facebook. The questions cover a range of topics including listening to the podcast with children, supporting processing speed issues, managing low self-esteem, diagnosing ADHD in older age, the overlap between cognitive giftedness and autism, exploring masking, and managing chores and responsibilities for individuals with a PDA profile. The episode provides insights, strategies, and resources for parents and individuals navigating neurodiversity. To submit questions for our next AMA, join the Neurodiversity Podcast Advocacy & Support Group on Facebook!

Ask Me Anything #8 with Emily Kircher-Morris

Jen Merrill, creator of Laughing at Chaos and author of If This is a Gift, Can I Send It Back?, shares her experience as a parent of a twice-exceptional child and discusses the challenges and benefits of homeschooling. She emphasizes the importance of self-care for parents of gifted and twice exceptional children. Takeaways   Parents of gifted and twice exceptional children need to prioritize self-care to better advocate for their children and maintain their own well-being.   Twice exceptional children can be both intellectually gifted and face other challenges that make life difficult for them and their families.   Homeschooling can provide personalized education and allow children to pursue their passions at their own pace.   Homeschooling can have financial and career implications for parents, and it requires careful management of family dynamics.   Join the Neurodiversity Podcast Advocacy & Support Group on Facebook! Jen Torbeck Merrill is an Illinois-based writer, musician, marketing project manager, and gifted family advocate.The mom of two boys, she homeschooled her twice-exceptional teen through high school while happily sending his younger brother off to his high school every morning. Those days now in the past, she is settling into the somewhat quieter life of an empty-nester. She is a music educator by trade, with degrees in music education and flute performance. Long before she picked up a flute as a child, however, Jen wanted to be a writer, something that didn’t happen until she opened a Blogger account in 2006 and never looked back. Since that time, her writing has focused more on gifted families and advocacy. Her book, If This is a Gift, Can I Send It Back?: Surviving in the Land of the Gifted and Twice-Exceptional, struck a nerve with families who suspected Jen was living in their closet. Her second book, on the needs of gifted parents and self-care, is in progress; it is taking significantly longer than anticipated because the author herself struggles mightily with self-care and has been spending a lot of time banging her head on the keyboard and hyperventilating in writerly frustration. In the meantime she continues to blog at Laughing at Chaos. BACKGROUND READING Twitter Facebook If This Is a Gift, Can I Send It Back?

Parenting Self-Care: Looking Out for Number One

Often, neurodivergent people have a completely different communication experience than neurotypicals. They respond differently to regulation, attention, and motivation, and often parents struggle when trying to improve connections with their kids. Linda Murphy is the author of The Declarative Language Handbook, and we present an encore of our conversation from 2023, with ideas on how to reframe communication and break down barriers. To learn more about the Neurodiversity University courses for educators, click the link, and get in touch with us through the contact page if you have questions. Amanda Morin’s The Empathetic Edge podcast can be found here, bookmark it! Linda Murphy is a speech language pathologist and RDI Consultant. She co-founded the “Peer Projects Therapy From the Heart” clinic in Beverly, Massachusetts, and has authored several books and numerous articles during her career. Linda has enjoyed working with individuals with social learning differences for over 25 years. BACKGROUND READING Website Instagram Facebook

Declarative Language: A New Strategy for Neurodivergent Communication

Dr. Donna Henderson joins Emily Kircher-Morris to talk about the changes in the assessment process for autism, the importance of empowering therapists to diagnose autism, and the need for equity in masking. Their conversation also explores the double empathy problem and the challenges of balancing unmasking with the needs of neurodiverse individuals in educational settings. They also discuss the PDA profile and its place within the autism spectrum. That’s all waiting for you on episode 216. Takeaways   The assessment process for autism is evolving, with a shift towards understanding subjective experience rather than relying solely on test scores.   Therapists are adapting by relying less on formal tests and more on interview skills and understanding inner subjective experiences.   Empowering therapists to diagnose autism is important for identifying and supporting individuals who may have been missed in the past.   Masking and camouflaging are complex behaviors that can have both benefits and drawbacks, and it is important to find a balance that respects individual needs and promotes equity. Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is not simply about avoiding demands, but rather an overriding biological drive for autonomy.   Misdiagnosis and labeling are common for PDAers, leading to potential negative consequences, especially for minority boys.   Understanding the core features of PDA, such as difficulty coping with demands, a wide variety of coping mechanisms, and challenges with social hierarchy, is crucial for accurate diagnosis and support.   Dr. Donna Henderson has been a clinical neuropsychologist for over 30 years. She is passionate about identifying and supporting autistic individuals, particularly those who camouflage, and she is co-author (with Drs. Sarah Wayland and Jamell White) of two books: Is This Autism? A Guide For Clinicians and Everyone Else and Is This Autism? A Companion Guide For Diagnosing. Dr. Henderson provides neuropsychological evaluations and consultations for children, adolescents, and adults who would like to understand themselves better. She is a sought-after lecturer on the less obvious presentations of autism, autistic girls and women, PDA, and on parenting children with complex profiles. She also provides case consultations and neurodiversity-affirmative training for other healthcare professionals. BACKGROUND READING Donna’s website Is This Autism?

The Rewards and Punishment Paradox with Alfie Kohn

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