Christian music lovers of all denominations – Anglican, Catholic, Methodist, whatever – know only too well that they enter their local churches at their peril. In this week's episode I talk to the irrepressible Lois Letts, a wedding and funeral organist for C of E churches in rural Herefordshire, about bad hymns. The funerals are appropriate, since when I first met Lois she wrote obituaries for the Times. Pity the wet vicar who tries to force her to play a bad hymn! We don't mince our words: our discussion is a euphemism-free zone and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. And there's a musical coda, a treat in store for those many Holy Smoke listeners who are devoted to the memory of Dame Clara Butt.

The tyranny of bad hymns

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In this episode of Holy Smoke, I'm joined by The Spectator's features editor William Moore, who asks in this week's issue of the magazine whether the Church of England is 'apologising for Christianity'. A report by the Oversight Group, set up by the Church Commissioners to make reparations for African slavery, not only wants to see unimaginable sums transferred to 'community groups' – its chair, the Bishop of Croydon, thinks a billion pounds would be appropriate – it also deplores the efforts of Christian missionaries to eradicate traditional religious practices. But, as Will's article points out, those traditional practices included – at their most extreme – idol-worship, twin infanticide and cannibalism. Are these part of the religious heritage that the C of E patronisingly wants African Christians to rediscover? Did missionaries and early converts to the faith who gave their lives for the faith die in vain? 

How the Church of England patronises African Christians

At a press conference in Rome last week, an ex-nun claiming to have suffered ritual sex abuse at the hands of Fr Marko Rupnik turned the heat on Pope Francis. How much did he know about the stomach-turning charges levelled at the Slovenian mosaic artist, who was a Jesuit until he was thrown out of the order? And, more important, when did he know? Why is Rupnik still a priest? The Pope's allies in the media are desperate for this story to go away. But, as this episode of Holy Smoke argues, the scandal is growing and threatens to engulf Francis himself. 

How much did Pope Francis know about Fr Marko Rupnik?

Can the Church of England escape from the deadly grip of bishops and bureaucrats who spend their entire time genuflecting to the metropolitan Left? Why does Archbishop Justin Welby wade obsessively into secular political battles when his churches are emptying? And do worshippers realise that eye-watering sums of money are being siphoned off from their parishes in order to fund worthless exercises in social engineering?



In this episode of Holy Smoke, the Rev Marcus Walker, Rector of St Bartholomew the Great in the City of London, reveals the scale of the crisis facing the Established Church. His analysis is devastating. Among the subjects he addresses is the cultural cringe that led Welby and gang to value the opinions of Paula Vennells, the disgraced former head of the Post Office who nearly became Bishop of London, over those of qualified theologians and parochial clergy. 



Under its current Rector, the ancient parish of St Bart's has become a beacon of hope for proud traditional Anglicans. Marcus tells me how he's reaching out to a new generation of Christians bored out of their minds by episcopal jargon – and also what he thinks of Pope Francis's attempt to crush the Latin Mass. It's a rollercoaster of an interview with one of the great clerics of our age. Don't miss it!

How liberal bishops are squeezing the life out of the Church of England

Donald Trump now seems certain to be the Republican presidential candidate in this year's US presidential elections. That's a prospect that horrifies liberal America and quite a few other Americans besides. The former president secured overwhelming support from evangelical Christians in Iowa and New Hampshire and some commentators are speculating that we're seeing a resurgence of the so-called 'religious right'. Does he have born-again Christians to thank for his astonishing progress so far? In this episode of Holy Smoke my guest is Ryan Burge, the American political scientist whose Graphs on Religion substack is an authoritative guide to religious allegiance and voting patterns. You may be surprised by what he has to say. 

Does Trump have evangelical Christians to thank for his second coming?

Just before Christmas, the Vatican's new doctrinal chief Cardinal Victor ‘Tucho’ Fernandez unveiled a new style of blessing designed to make gay couples feel at home in church without changing the Church's teaching on marriage. The Argentinian Tucho has for years been Pope Francis's protégé – but for how much longer? The new gay blessings, supposedly blessing the couple but not their union, have been decisively rejected by all the Catholic bishops of Africa, forcing Francis to backtrack and say they could ignore Fernandez’s decree. Then, last week, it was revealed that in 1998 Tucho published a book on, of all things, the theology of orgasms. It is jaw-droppingly graphic, has been widely described as ‘creepy’, and has encouraged leading cardinals hoping to succeed Francis to distance themselves from this pontificate.



Listen to this episode of Holy Smoke if you want to know about the new crisis tearing apart the Catholic Church – but be warned: the erotic musings of the future Prefect of the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith are not suitable for children. 

The tyranny of bad hymns

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