The Unwelcome Daughter of the Narcissistic Mother

02.10.2021 - By The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast

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Early on the daughter of the narcissistic mother keenly senses that she is an after thought, an unnecessary child, a quirk of fate, a huge mistake. She feels no warmth coming from this mother.  the unwelcome daughter is treated like a poor relation. This term originates from the English, meaning a person who is inferior or subordinate to other family members. I think of Charlotte Bronte's iconic character Jane Eyre. In the novel Jane is without mother or father. As a result she is sent to her aunt's house. There she is an unwelcome child. The aunt favors her children over Jane and she is treated cruelly by all of them. Much of Jane's circumstances are made very difficult as a result of her lowly position in the society of that time and her aunt's cold, cruel behaviors. I think of the unwelcome child of the narcissistic mother sharing some aspects of these unjust circumstances. Ultimately, Jane prevailed and was victorious in her extraordinary individuality. These daughters - many whom I have known directly or through their writings, are extraordinary in the creative ways that they found to preserve the essential core of their true selves. Often highly intuitive they discovered how to rescue and separate their core psychological selves from the psychopathology  of the narcissistic mother.  Their road to individuality has been rugged, windswept and often solitary. There were seasons of doubt and disappointment.  Yet, these daughters are made of very sturdy stuff. They kept coming back to their centers of wisdom and creativity. Their psychological and spiritual flowering is magnificent, outstanding beauty, a strong essential force of nature in this fine, strong, grounded, empathic, intuitive individual.  We are blessed and made stronger and better by your lovely individual being.

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