"TINY NOWHERE" by jessie knoles

brilliant elixer

fuck me up

fuck me dead

why does

academia

hate me

i’m ready to

sacrifice

my body

to a career

something

boring like

teaching teenagers

why romeo and

juliet did or

didn’t die make my

grandparents proud

of me again

i pour this

into my glass and

pour my glass into

the bathtub full of

rejection letters that

call me ‘jessica’

instead of

jessie

this is the year

of being normal

let’s get married and

request fuzzy bath towels

let’s get married and

i’ll wear the white dress

and makeup

and smile

for 12 hours until

my teeth fall out

or my chin

rots academia

what did i ever

do to you would

i not make you

proud either

are you scared

of me am i

not worthy enough

to pay you to

rub me raw

kill me deader

than i already am

academia all i want

to do is

walk down your

pathways and

smell your

million dollar

flowers i am not

so full that i cannot

hunger i am not

so tired that i

cannot stay up

for two years

straight

in this scenario

you are my grandparents

and you are proud

of me and i am

sitting at the piano

with straight white

teeth and slender

fingers men can be

proud of and i never

get too drunk and i

always stay

in this line in

this scenario

we never fuck

up we never

drink

the sun on accident

we never forget

to turn faucets

off magical

drinkable liquid

elixer

you promised me

more than this

————————————–

jessie knoles called us from Bellingham, WA.

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