In this candid episode, Polish electronic pop artist Tomek Zdyb shares his journey of growing up gay in a deeply religious and conservative Poland. He discusses how the absence of LGBTQ+ terminology and representation left him navigating his identity through pornography rather than healthy education, leading to struggles with sex addiction that would take years to overcome.

Tomek opens up about his teenage isolation, identity crisis after falling in love with a woman despite knowing he was attracted to men, and his eventual path to self-acceptance. Music became his salvation – transforming from a late-discovered passion into therapeutic self-expression and a platform to break taboos. Through his "Untold Stories" project and willingness to address uncomfortable subjects, Tomek creates space for others facing similar struggles while challenging the toxic education he received growing up.

Timestamped Key Takeaways

• [00:02:37] Religious and Social Climate in Poland: Tomek describes growing up in a country heavily influenced by religion with strong conservative attitudes toward homosexuality.
• [00:04:47] Lack of Queer Vocabulary: He explains how the absence of terminology for gay identity created confusion, forcing him to learn about homosexuality through pornography rather than education.
• [00:06:50] Identity Crisis: Tomek shares his experience of falling in love with a woman despite knowing he was attracted to men, creating an identity crisis that took years to resolve.
• [00:12:34] Global Safety Concerns: A powerful discussion about whether there are truly safe places for LGBTQ+ people, with references to Poland's LGBT-free zones and the current climate in America.
• [00:15:17] Sex Addiction Journey: Tomek candidly discusses his struggles with pornography addiction, how it impacted his life, and the importance of talking about sex addiction as a legitimate issue.
• [00:20:18] Music as Therapy: He explains how music became not just a passion but a therapeutic outlet that helped him emerge from a dark, lonely period in his life.
• [00:22:26] Teenage Isolation: Tomek describes his teenage years marked by severe isolation, having quit dance due to bullying and separating himself entirely from the world.
• [00:24:51] Finding Community: The turning point came when he changed schools and found supportive community through Amnesty International, showing the vital importance of accepting spaces.
• [00:29:02] Rejection of Labels: In his two-minute speech, Tomek emphasizes his desire to live without being defined solely by his sexuality, questioning why sexual identity is blamed for societal problems.

Guest Bio

Tomek Zdyb is a Polish singer-songwriter crafting electronic pop that challenges taboos and embraces authenticity. A chemist by education and corporate employee by profession, Tomek describes himself as "an artist and dancer by heart and soul." His music transforms personal struggles into powerful art, combining diverse vocal styles and genres to create a distinctive sound that educates and inspires.

Links

• Read deep dives into our queer lives at the blog HERE.
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• See producer and presenter Dan Hall's other work HERE (subtitled version HERE).
• Listen to other episodes at the homepage.