Here’s the thing about parenting—It’s really hard to evaluate how you are doing or identify areas of improvement when you’re in the thick of it every day. Because parenting comes with no performance evaluations or long-term guarantees of success, we often find ourselves simply trying to survive, not thrive (I speak from experience).   Danny Huerta from Focus on the Family joins us today with some valuable benchmarks to consider in our parenting journey. His new book,  7 Traits of Effective Parenting, very practically lists some of the most critical areas of our parenting and how to assess how we’re doing or where we need to make some tweaks.   Some of the traits of effective parenting we discuss include adaptability, respect, and intentionality—and believe you me, there’s some truth spoken today that I needed to hear and I bet you will feel the same way, too.   Danny also shares with us the areas of our culture he believes will most challenge our kids' faith and gives us his thoughts on how to prepare them to live biblically.   I hope you’re having a wonderful summer, and I’m so grateful you’re joining me on this parenting journey! 

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7 Traits of Effective Parenting with Danny Huerta

As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Kids & Family

Parenting

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” —2 Corinthians 10:5   As we pray for our kids to love God with all of their minds, we have to consider that our mind is made up of our thoughts. So, in order to love God with all of our minds, we have to think about what fills our minds and how it impacts the way we love God. Our thoughts are significant because they have the potential to grow our love for God or distract and pull us away from a relationship with him and his great plans for our life. The Enemy loves to get a hold of our thoughts and make us question God’s goodness and protection in our life. For our kids to love God with all of their minds, we’re praying that they “take captive” all the thoughts that are destructive, not instructive. This process of taking captive their thoughts is accomplished by knowing God’s word so that their thoughts are weighed against the truth of Scripture.  It also comes by considering what’s going into their minds and how that’s fueling (or lessening) their love for God. It’s praying that they evaluate the movies they watch, the music they listen to, and the voices they allow to speak into their lives.  Since our kids’ thoughts have the greatest impact on loving God with all of their minds, let’s take time to pray over their thoughts and ask God to help them take each one captive.  Lord, teach us to love you in all of the different areas of our life, including our minds. If our minds are made up of our thoughts, teach us to take captive our thoughts and bring them in line with your truth. Be with [name], helping them to guard what they allow into their minds so that it always honors you. 
 God’s word speaks: Isaiah 26:3; Jeremiah 33:3; Colossians 3:2–3; 1 Peter 1:13 
 


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BONUS: Marked by our Mind

What a treat to talk to Adrienne Camp about how she is trusting God with her kids.  Adrienne “Adie” Camp, a South African singer and songwriter, was the lead singer of the Christian rock band The Benjamin Gate before launching her solo career. She is married to fellow musician Jeremy Camp, whom she met on tour in 2002. They have been married since 2003 and have two daughters, Bella and Arie, and one son, Egan.  
 Throughout this entire episode, you will hear Adrienne’s heart to connect people in a very tangible way with Jesus. However, she acknowledges that we don’t always feel excited about that. Sometimes, we are sitting in a real place of doubt, frustration and disbelief. No matter where you are on your faith journey (or your kids) - I think you will feel so encouraged by Adrienne’s words and wisdom.  
 In this episode we discuss:The desire to protect our kids from mistakesThe real grief experienced when you launch a child Getting honest with God - all our feelings and emotions included doubt and anger
 
 Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo 
 Resources from today’s show: As For Me - Adrienne’s latest bible study on Psalms  Even Me - Adrienne’s book with her girls about their journey to Africa Adrienne Camp’s Instagram  Pardon the Mess episode with Jonathan and Peta Pitts Christian Parenting Store (15% off with coupon PODCAST2024) 


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How to approach God when you have anger, doubt and frustration with Adrienne Camp

“What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” —Mark 8:36 Loving God with all of our soul sounds very important, but what exactly is our soul? Our soul lies deep down inside of us and is our very core. It’s the invisible part of us that connects us with God. It is where we are most at home, and it’s the most fundamental driver of who we are from the inside out. If you strip away all of our outward actions and how we choose to portray ourselves (or how others may define us), the soul is our truest self. To love the Lord with all of our soul, we’ve got to be faithful in private. We’ve got to be devoted to the things that drench our soul in Jesus and be willing to drop the things that don’t. It’s spending time in prayer confessing what’s in our soul, not just in our mind.  As we pray for our kids to love God with all of their souls this week, let’s pray that they learn to love him with the very core of who they are—not by what they intellectually believe about him, or how they serve him, or what they communicate to others by their faith, but truly learning to love Jesus from the core of their being.  Pray for the Lord to reveal the depths of their soul and teach them how to love him with all that they are.  Lord, we confess to spending a disproportionate amount of time worrying about our earthly bodies, usually at the expense of our soul. Please teach [name] how to love you from their very core, giving priority to the only part of us that will live eternally.  God’s word speaks: Psalm 119:81; Psalm 63:8; Deuteronomy 4:29; Matthew 10:28

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BONUS: Marked by our Soul

I am taking a guess that 100% of us are exhausted. And this is beyond the physically tired feeling. You all will love the encouragement and wisdom on today’s episode by Jess Connolly. I have always loved her teaching and preaching - because she balances compassion and truth so well. She doesn’t leave us sitting in the challenges - she provides biblical, practical and realistic ways we can move forward in this issue. 
 This idea of burnout and an unsustainable pace is not new information. We know we are in it but are not sure why or how to stop it as parents? So what do we do? Tune in to this week’s podcast chat with Jess - you won’t feel shame - you will feel equipped and encouraged to do the hard work of rest. We all know our souls are crying for it. 
 I was so absolutely amused at the start of our conversation when I asked her about her cold plunge obsession. Is anyone else into the idea of purposely jumping into ice cold water? She actually gives a pretty compelling case to try it. 
Jess’ story of emotional, physical and spiritual breakdownHow to tend to your soul and stop feeling so defeated How to break the cycle of surviving vs thriving How can we respond to God’s invitation to rest
 Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo 
 Resources from today’s show: JessConnolly.com Tired of Being Tired - Jess’ new book Raising Mentally Strong Kids Christian Parenting store (15% off with coupon PODCAST2024) 


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When you are beyond tired (soul exhausted) and don’t know how to get rest with Jess Connolly

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” —Mark 12:30   Remember the lawyer who tried to trick Jesus by asking him to name the greatest commandment? (Lawyers, am I right?)   Jesus, knowing this guy’s antics, responded with, “Love God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength.” If we break it down, what does it look like to love God with all of our heart?   Our heart is not just critical to our health; it’s also the epicenter of our spiritual life. It’s central to our thoughts and actions, where we spend money, and even the words that come out of our mouths. When Jesus talks about loving God with all our heart, he’s referencing our emotions and decisions.  
 In order for us to love God with all of our hearts, we have to prioritize spending time with him and in his word. When we spend time with God, we start wanting to do the things that are pleasing to God and we care about the things that he cares about. Having time with our creator enables us to know what he wants for our lives, and we can’t help but pursue him and the things he values and wants for our families.   Let’s pray this week that our kids learn to love God with all of their hearts, beginning with prioritizing time with him and pursuing him in all that they do.   Lord, teach us to show our love for you, not just with our words, but with our lifestyle. Lead [name] to prioritize time in your word and learn to pursue you in all that they do. Remind us that loving you means also loving our neighbor. Make us aware of the needs we can meet around us.   God’s word speaks: 1 John 4:7–8; 1 Corinthians 13:13; John 13:34; 1 John 4:19 


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7 Traits of Effective Parenting with Danny Huerta

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