Thank you Newsstand Studio at 1 Rockefeller Plaza for providing a place for me to record this episode for y’all! No more Brooklyn closet recording!!!

 

Welcome to the TRC Remix Series #8. If you’re not sure what this series is click here for more info!

 

Today’s TRC Remix Episode is all about Dating 101: everything from dealbreakers to online dating profile no-nos to finding someone who’s our “type”  + the #1 myth keeping you stuck! I have this conversation with my good friend + singleness + dating expert: Stephanie May Wilson.

 

DATING 101: Types + Deal Breakers

• Online dating profiles vs. Meeting IRL.
• We may have a type, but we have to stop making our searches so narrow—the perfect man may not be who you pictured him to be.

 

DATING 101: It's A Curb, Not A Cliff

• Real talk: we need to be as intentional about dating as we are with our career or fitness.
• We chat about the pressure to have meet cutes and the number one frustration women come to her looking for answers to.

 

• "You deserve someone who wants to be with you."

 

• What do you do with all this hope and confusion? Live this season of your life to the fullest. Show up!

 

DATING MYTH: There Are No Good Guys.

 

• "There are better things we can do with that focus that actually get us to where we want to be."

 

• Find ways to put yourself out there more. Just get involved in your community.
• Disappointment is part of the dating process. It's getting you ready for marriage, which is signing up to be disappointed by the same person for your whole life.

 

Feeling discouraged? God hasn't forgotten you. It isn't too late. You are not less than others because you are single. You are not unlovable. You don't have to figure this out alone. 

 

The biggest thing that stood out to me in this episode is when Stephanie said: the #1 thing we should look for in a person is that they are also interested in us! Receiving this and understanding this would have transformed my 20s and early 30s. I can’t tell you how in love I would be with a guy friend and how I just let myself stay in the friend zone forgetting to remember that ‘Oh my gosh I GET TO BE WITH A GUY WHO WANTS ME BACK.’ I would’ve saved myself so much heartache!

 

What about you? What stood out to you about today’s episode! Share a quote or thought on IG stories + tag @therefinedcollective. I’d love to hear what came up for you!

Resources:

• Keep up with Stephanie at StephanieMayWilson.com and on IG at @smaywilson
• Listen to Stephanie’s podcast Girls Night (listen to my episode here;))
• Grab Every Single Moment for 15% off with code KAT
• Grab The Between Places for 15% off with code REFINED
• Watch my Patreon video: Are Your Standards Too High?

I have become very invested in taking care of my skin— I just wish I had started earlier! Swedish skincare company Foreo strives to turn daily routines into vibrant rituals and celebrate aging gracefully. They bundled their most popular products into a bundle that is sold exclusively on Amazon. Go to Amazon.com and use coupon code REFINEDC50 to grab the set for $199 (it is valued at over $300!)

 

We invest large amounts of money into our careers. But with things like love, we think “It’ll happen when it happens,” and with things like kids, we think “I’ll think about that down the road.” What if we were just as intentional about our reproductive health as we are our careers? Modern Fertility is an easy way to test your fertility with an at-home test at a fraction of the cost. Go to ModernFertility.com/refined for $20 off your fertility test.

Finding a bra that fits, is comfortable, and cute or sexy… it feels impossible. I recently had an enjoyable bra shopping experience with the female-founded and led company Natori. They have everything from size A to G. Go to Natori.com and apply the code REFINED at checkout for 15% off at checkout. Be sure to use the hashtag #MyNatori on social media.

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