UR 174: Stumbling Toward Wholeness — Andrew Bauman

On this week’s episode, Tray and Melody sit down with Andrew Bauman, a licensed mental health counselor from The Seattle School of Psychology and Theology, to have an in-depth discussion about his struggles with pornography and the unexpected death of his son, Brave.   Andrew explains that pornography began to parent him in areas where his parents were voiceless. His father, although a pastor, struggled with addiction for 25 years and ultimately undid their family. “That arousal and excitement in porn in a way began to give me new life, but that only lasted until it began to kill me. From there I began to learn what it means to incorporate my sin and my shame into my life in a redemptive way. There was a therapist while I was flunking out of college who really began to take an interest in my life, he saw me in a way that a figure in my life hadn’t been before. Hope began to grow in me.” After losing their son Brave, Andrew stated that it is ok to rage at a God, to curse at him and yet desperately pray to Him for healing and grace. “The only way we knew to act on this was to be very LOUD with our grief. It felt like going through life without skin, everyone’s comments, even well intentioned, just hurt to the bone.” How do I get well? Andrew says you have to bleed and you have to die in a sense. You have to fillet yourself, bear your heart before others and THEN receive the first aid of God’s grace and healing. Most people want to grow, but the price of growth is pain.