#256 Wedding Planning with Queerlyweds

Kirsten and Margie talk to Christy all about their experience wedding planning as a Queer couple during the Pandemic. They share replanning their wedding multiple times, marriage equality, and more. Things get edgy on this one, so buckle up and enjoy!

Kirstin is a creative living and desperately trying to thrive in Los Angeles, the land of creatives. She is a passionate dog mom, plant connoisseur, blossoming baker, and newlywed to her wonderful wife, Margie, who she has with her today too! Margie works in the talent agency space, is an intersectional feminist, a foodie at heart, and an aspiring forest hag.

Kirstin, the creator of the Queerlyweds blog, states the goal of Queerlyweds is to be a wedding planning guide for Queer people where they can feel safe, seen, and secure. Everything she writes is based on real-life experiences and she always include personal anecdotes in her writing.

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Big Takeaways

Kirstin and Margie wrote their vows together and read them one line at time, switching back and forth. They found it so magical, and mesmerizing.

They ultimately decided to get married in October 2020, before the election, because of fears around the potential of losing marriage equality, and therefore certain rights that come in medical emergencies, etc. They made the decision to be sure they were protected.

The use of “bride” so widely can create a bit of an emotional labor overload. There is a lot of extra work to be done to increase representation.

Something to look for on vendor websites and social media grids that show representation/queer friendliness is language. Word choice, descriptions, explanations, etc. Ex: how heavily gendered is their content? Is their idea of weddings open-ended?

Because of the smaller wedding, and needing to be particular about who was attending, they eliminated plus-ones, unless they were friends of the couple. They also organized a small cocktail party for those who weren’t invited, but in the end felt that it was unnecessary.

Some Potential Vendor Red Flags:

Use of the word "Jesus" can sometimes be a veiled way of saying the vendor does not do queer weddings

Terms like "Boss Babe" and "Boss Bitch" plays into hustle culture in a weird way, and can really come off as aggressively feminine

Links We Referenced

Queerlyweds on Instgram

Kirsten on Instagram

hellokirstin.com/queerlyweds

Get In Touch: 

The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is…

Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez 

Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics 

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