A Hijackal® is a person who hijacks relationships, for their own purposes, while scavenging them for power, status, and control.  Hijackals® make you question your sanity and constantly second-guess yourself.  That’s their game … and they are very good at it!  They play to win … at any cost.  Sound familiar?  Of course!  My guest is Dr. Rhoberta Shaler and she coined the word Hijackal®.  Her Mission is helping people identify emotional abuse and learn that there is a safer, saner, better world available. Dr. Shaler discusses the fact that there are reasons we are attracted to, and are attractive to, abusers and that there is choice involved in embracing our freedom from their control. Listen to this fascinating discussion about Hijackals® ; who they are and what’s really going on in the crazy-making relationships in your life.  Learn more about Dr. Rhoberta Shaler at www.forrelationshiphelp.com.  Her YouTube channel is For Relationship Help and her podcasts on iTunes and all the other popular podcast channels are Emotional Savvy and Save Your Sanity.  On her web site you can access her online television show, Emotional Savvy, and subscribe to her newsletter.  When you’re ready, Dr Shaler is available for online counseling, around the world!

What is a Hijackal®?

I’m Mickie Zada and I lived in abuse…for 34 years…from age 19 until I was 53.  
I believe we create our realities, and I chose to stay in a damaging relationship for so long because I thought it was my Calling.  I was wrong.
I changed me.  I am now an enthusiastic participant in Life.  
 “The words ‘I am’ are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you.” A.L. Kitselman
I am a strong woman, a fabulous woman, over 60 years old.  

I am a Change-agent. I am an encourager.  I am uniquely qualified to speak to living in abuse, getting out and surviving to the fullest extent.  I know what it takes. I know the fear.  I am a survivor.

I am a coach.

I am happy to have these “I Am” words to reach back and claim me!

The actions I teach and share are those that I’ve learned in my Journey from choosing to live in abuse to choosing to create my authentic life; safe, sound, Real.

I invite you to read through this web page.  Think about who I Am.  Read blogs, listen to some podcasts, watch live videos.  Do we connect?

I am open and exposed.  Choose to reach out to me or not.

What I know for sure is that I lived the life of abuse, and got out, and I’ve thrived, to serve as a beacon to other women.

If you live in abuse, or you’ve recently escaped, it’s my Mission to support and encourage you to choose and live a healthy life.

The materials, the tools, the support is here.

It’s your responsibility to grab hold and change yourself, from the in-side out.

Stories of women who have reinvented themselves for the second half of their lives.  You hear where they have come from, what inspired their transformations and you can follow their path to having the life you really want.  Figuring It Out After 50 is about taking your life from where you were to WHO you ARE!

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Health & Fitness

This podcast episode is about business. Specifically, My Business. And the fact that it’s not working. Warren Buffet is the third richest person in the world…he has owned and started businesses that have not worked.  Here is one of my favorite Warren Buffet quotes: “In a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.”– Warren Buffett You know that I have changed my mind, changed my life, changed my name, changed my business and its name.  You know that my foundational belief is “If we don’t change, nothing changes.” I have hung on for several years in a chronically leaking boat. I’ve tried several stints of patching leaks to keep from sinking. Changing vessels is more productive for me now than patching leaks. I always considered the podcast, live videos, and articles to be my passion and a business.  The business part was coaching and creating paid classes and groups to support, inspire, and educate women who have escaped domestic abuse. Paid classes and groups have not been supported.  In spite of my efforts, this business is not viable. The cost to create what I offer for free is almost $1,000 a month.  I thought by this time I would generate enough income to at least break even.  That has not been the case.  The bottom line is that I can no longer justify staying in this chronically leaking boat. This is the final episode of SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse Podcast. Listen to the podcast to learn more about my decision to take the fork in the road. I do intend to continue building an online community. My focus will be on personal growth for women over 50.  Content and lessons will apply to creating our authentic lives after domestic abuse, but that will not be the primary focus. If you are a member of the open or secret SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse FB pages, or The Second 53 Years, and you’re interested in continuing to follow me, please like my personal page, Facebook Mickie Zada   I will continue posting content there. I appreciate the support I have received from this community.  As one of my coaches told me, the only thing consistent in Life is change.  It keeps us growing and moving forward.  I am open, ready, and willing to embrace whatever new venture Divine Intent is leading me into.  Choose to like my personal Facebook page and invite your friends to join that community, too. Join me in the next growth spurt…thank you for listening and for following me to Facebook Mickie Zada

Ending SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse Podcast

My guest today is Jitka Bernardova.  Jitka grew up in the Czech Republic behind the Iron Curtain. Despite the confines of living in communism with very controlling parents, she was a very happy and active child. Her parents were very strict and she didn’t feel loved enough, so she was constantly seeking love from babies and animals. Jitka loved to play outside and take care of all the neighbors’ kids on the street.  She was so blinded by looking for love that she didn’t see the problems she was taking on when she married an alcoholic man at the age of 18. His drinking got better and then it got worse…then it got better, and then it got much worse. Jitka discovered it was not ONLY drinking that he was doing.  He was also cheating on her: Cheating with her friends!  To make matters worse, everyone knew (even her parents) and no one told her. That was emotionally devastating and it was the catalyst to motivate her to know she couldn’t live like that anymore.  Jitka divorced her husband after 24 years of marriage. Her kids were all grown up and on their own at that time. The divorce left her suddenly alone and not needed. Being the strong woman she is, Jitka didn’t look too far ahead: She chose to rebuild her life day by day.  She focused on herself, she focused on creating a life she wanted to live.  She began a well-planned program of walking on the beach, working out, adding a healthy diet, meditating, learning English, learning to drive and reading. She became a different person. she became stronger, happier and healthier than she had ever been. Reach out to Jitka at New Stronger Me

I Created A New Stronger Me! Jitka Bernardova

You never know the influence you have on someone’s life.  As you deal with your reality, feeling like you are drowning in emotions and responsibility, someone else’s view of you is that of inspiration, strength, and success. My cousin died last week.  She was a favorite cousin, my big sister by proxy.   She was the one I ran to when I left my abuser for the very first time. At that time, she was recently divorced, had emotional and financial responsibility for two young sons; she was a full-time Master’s Program student and worked full time.  Her life was on overload.  I’m sure she felt like she was at the end of her rope. Then I showed up. In crisis. To me, she was a savior.  A strong woman in charge of her life, moving forward on her dreams, dealing with responsibilities, and creating a safe, healthy life for herself and her sons. No matter how shattered your life may feel to you, to someone else you may be the exact inspiration another woman needs.  That’s what my cousin was for me.

You May Be the Exact Inspiration Another Woman Needs with Mickie Zada

People often see the victim of narcissistic abuse as “crazy” and full of fear and doubt.  The narcissist shows up cool, calm and collected.  Right? Why is that?  Because the narcissist has the ability to make their victims responsible for any and every negative thing.  Even things they make up…using our words!  They convince us we are crazy.  They convince us we are the abusers!  They separate realities and stay calm, while the light us on fire.  You are not, and were not, crazy.  You were abused. Now it’s our choice to change our perspective, to accept that building our own safe, happy and authentic live is OUR responsibility.  The abuse was real.  We did not deserve it.  We did not ask for it or enjoy it.  Now it’s our choice to use that experience to grow, and to help ourselves and others heal.  

You're Not Crazy; You Were Abused

It was the lies and emotional abuse that lead my guest to research and discover that BOTH her Exs had extreme childhood trauma.   She said “This fact was something NOT taught in a triple Masters program in Psychology!”  After 2 years of research, she discovered childhood trauma leads to emotional abuse and that made total sense, for her healing and the healing of her psychotherapy and coaching clients as well.   My guest is Riana Milne.  She is a certified, Global Life, Dating & Relationship Coach, a #1 best selling author, and podcast host.  Because so many women want to know WHY things went so bad when they were great in the beginning, Riana has developed, and she presents for us, the TEN TRAUMAS that are experienced during childhood that affect an adult later in life and in their love relationships.  Riana also offers 3 free gifts to listeners of SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse podcast.  All are available on her website – www.RianaMilne.com  1) Free Life & Love Transformation Strategy Session  (a $500 value for Singles; a $1000 value for Couples); FREE when you mention this interview! 2) Free Chapter downloads of both her books; LIVE & LOVE Beyond Your Dreams. 3) Free eBook on this topic: found at – www.HavetheLoveYouDeserve.com

What is a Hijackal®?

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