When no one appreciates what you do – Hf #329

Mother's Day is coming up in a few weeks. And while we may look forward to the day (or not), it can also be hard with expectations and a lot of emotions.

Maybe you will get a hand written card. Maybe you will get a half-hearted “Happy Mother’s Day” from your teen. Maybe your husband will do the dishes for you. Maybe it will be all you dreamed of and it will be amazing.

Maybe. Or maybe you will feel a little disappointed. Maybe you will feel hurt that your husband didn’t make a bigger deal out of the occasion. Maybe you resent the fact that you still had to do all the cooking and the cleaning over the weekend. Maybe you will wish that just for once, someone in your family would notice ALL that you do.

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I get it. I think all of us have been there at one moment or another. “Don’t they see ALL that I do for this family day in and day out?” “Wow, I sure wish I could just throw my clothes all over the room and hope that someone else will deal with it later.” “I don’t ever stop working, I wish that just for one second that someone would notice that and recognize it!” 

I know it’s easy for these feelings to creep into our hearts. But at the end of the day, this is only going to lead us feeling frustration, overwhelmed, and with a lot less joy in our lives. These feelings and this line of thinking robs us of our contentment in the everyday. 

When mother’s day is over and we are feeling under-appreciated and overwhelmed, how do we being again to find joy?

Finding our Joy in the Lord

It can be so discouraging when we feel like we are not appreciated for all we do. We want to be recognized or even just given a small thank you every once in a while. But when we don’t get these, or it doesn’t look like how we think it should look…we are quickly robbed of our joy.

The problem is: We are placing our hope, our trust, and our joy in the things of this world. We are placing our joy – or our lack there of – in the hands of our toddlers who might wake up on the wrong side of the bed and scream all day or in the very angsty hands of our teenagers.

We are turning to our family to fulfill us and meet our needs. I did this a lot in the early days of our marriage. I looked to my husband to fulfill all of my needs. I looked to him for encouragement, for security, for complete and perfect love…and of course, when he would inevitably fail…my joy would go along with it.

I’ve learned through too many mistakes throughout the years that ultimately, my joy needs to be in the Lord. These sinful humans that we live with day in and day out WILL fail us at one point or another. Or everyday.

Yes, our children and our husband can bring us an immense amount of joy. But if our ultimate joy, peace, and life rests in how our family all responds to us then we have turned our family or our kids into an idol and at the end of the day, we will be sorely disappointed.

RELATED: Idols of the Heart and Keeping Our Eyes on Jesus – Hf #45

“Idols aren’t just stone statues. No, idols are the thoughts, desires, longings, and expectations that we worship in the place of the true God. Idols cause us to ignore the true God in search of what we think we need.” – Idols of the Heart, page 23

Instead of placing our trust and our hope in our family, we need to place that trust and that hope in Christ. We need to turn to him when life hurts, when we feel disappointed, when we are overwhelmed.

When we tie our identity,