Ep 63. When Productivity in Motherhood is Linked to our Worthiness

In this episode I share my reflections on how the ‘perfect mother myth’ is linked to notions of productivity and worth, and add some nuance to the conversation about self-sacrifice in Motherhood.

Sometimes, it can feel like there is a competition for busy-ness to try and prove how hard we are trying and how much it is we are carrying. At the same time though, there are tangible ways that make it feel like we can’t escape the weight of responsibilities, expectations, and demands that we face. It isn’t as easy as saying just ‘take a step back’. Sometime - if and when we do - there can be a lot of discomfort that arises, and in this episode I explore both what this can mean, where it comes from socially/culturally, and how we can use these experiences to open possibilities for rethinking what motherhood means.

I offer a critique of individualism and explain some of the reasons why mothering work is so devalued in our society, as well as the ways our own internalization of martyrdom-motherhood can lead to feelings of resentment, anger and guilt.

In this episode I rethink the common analogies we hear and use around filling of our ‘cups’ and placing of ‘oxygen masks’ on ourselves before others. This is with a view to disrupt some of the assumptions underlying what it means to be a ‘mother’ in our society, and challenge some of the beliefs we’ve internalized about our worth and value as women who mother.

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