196: When Your Spouse Doesn't Share The Same Values

Today we will be talking about things that come up in marriage that really make you realize you are on a different train of thought than your spouse. You are approaching something from a different perspective. You feel like you are in a more mature place than your spouse when it comes to spiritual or practical things or anything pertaining to life.

Some questions we’ve had people ask is - What do I do if I share this conviction and I want our home to have a lot less media in it, but my husband comes home and he turns on and watches TV? What do I do if I don’t see the value in video games, but my husband comes home and he grabs our 10 year old son to rush off to the basement and play their video games? How do I get my husband to stop drinking alcohol? How do I get my spouse to embrace this value system? Maybe you shared a value system when you first got married and now you’re off in an area and you don’t have the same vision anymore.

From personal experience, what isn’t going to work - nagging, disrespect and disapproval.

If they don’t truly share the same resolve or desire over something, you can’t force that. We all have things like this in our marriage because the Lord is leading us all in different ways. With some people, the change comes sooner and maybe He uses us to infuse that fresh perspective into our spouse’s life. As much as we are one, we have to fight for that unity as we are learning, growing and maturing at different paces all throughout life.

Prayer is the number one thing. The Lord does the work! Every big thing in our marriage up to this point, we cared so much that we really had to pray a lot. The Lord always did the work in each of our hearts. We gave each other space and loved each other with an unconditional love in the meantime. We loved each other no matter what and this differing of opinion was not going to change that. The health or joy of our marriage and home isn’t going to be changed if you don’t agree with me on this issue. We have to give whatever it is to the Lord and have Him change our heart first and be able to let go of what this ideal is in our mind. My marriage is more important than this ideal. There is so much power in prayer!

Books mentioned in video: 

- The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger - https://amzn.to/3lAfEWx

- How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie -  https://amzn.to/3IlV1pJ

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