We’re constantly checking boxes on forms, whether it’s for eye color or sexual orientation. Those categories can be empowering or, they can make you feel invisible, like when Mona painted a portrait of 100 New Yorkers based on the New York Census data, and realized she couldn’t see herself. There was no “Arabic” box to check in the census—the closest being “white” or “other.” So what happens when someone spends their whole life checking that box for “other”? Mona talks with nonbinary British Iraqi drag queen Amrou Al-Kadhi about embracing the contradictions of having multiple, wonderful, identities, that SOME people see as conflicting.

You can find the full text transcript along with studies cited in this episode at go.ted.com/AIN6

Which box do I check?

We all want to know if we’re normal—do I have enough friends? Should it take me this long to get over my ex? Should I move or stay where I am? Endlessly curious data journalist Mona Chalabi NEEDS to know, and she’s ready to dive into the numbers to get some answers. But studies and spreadsheets don’t tell the whole story, so she’s consulting experts, strangers, and even her mum to fill in the gaps. The answers might surprise you, and make you ask: does normal even exist? 

Am I Normal? with Mona Chalabi is produced in partnership with Transmitter Media.

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The binary category of single/married doesn't allow for much nuance. What if, say, you’re in a long term committed relationship like a marriage — but you live apart? In the last episode of this mini series, Saleem talks to a couple who’s been living apart together ("LAT") for years about what motivates them to be in a LAT relationship, and how the arrangement works for them.

Together for 20 years — but living apart?

In Britain, one-fourth of people who were adopted make contact with their birth parents before they turn 18. In this episode, Saleem meets Amanda, a Dominican woman who was adopted by a white couple in Connecticut. Amanda always knew she was adopted and was curious about her birth parents. After a few years of dead ends, she finally finds her biological mother … in the last place she expected.

What it's like to find your birth parent

For multiple years in a row, Gallup has named Finland the happiest country in the world. But can you actually measure happiness — and what do the Finns know that the rest of the world doesn’t? Before you move to Finland, we talk to a Finnish “happyologist” about how she defines happiness, what we can learn from even trying to quantify something so subjective, and why happiness might be less of an individual pursuit than you think.

Lessons from the happiest place in the world

Would you let your child run errands unaccompanied? Saleem investigates what this kind of early age autonomy can teach us about community, resilience, and family. Saleem talks to a Japanese mother who has lived in the U.S. & Japan about how she and her family navigate independence. Then he hears from one special on-the-ground expert about the value of doing things on one’s own.

Should kids have more freedom?

In the U.S. living with your parents can be seen as a “bad” thing. But across the world, living with your parents is common – and even preferable to living by yourself. In the first episode of a special series of Am I Normal, Saleem Reshamwala talks to a 28-year-old teacher from Hong Kong about what it’s like to be growing into adulthood in her childhood home.

Which box do I check?

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