181: Why ‘giving choices’ doesn’t work – and what to do instead

‘Giving choices’ is a hot tool in the respectful parenting world. In the scripts, it usually goes like this:

Child: “I want a snack!”

Parent: “OK! Would you like an apple or a banana?”

Child: “A banana, please!”

And the parent hands over the banana.

But when you actually try it in your own home, it usually looks more like this:

Your child: “I want a snack!”

You: “OK! Would you like an apple or a banana?”

Your child: “I want cookies!”

WHY IS THAT?! Why does it never ‘work’ the way it’s supposed to? Why doesn’t our child follow the script?

There’s a simple and easy reason, and in this episode I break it down - and teach you the effective tool to use instead of giving choices.

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