History For Sleep with the Drowsy Historian

Why You Wouldn't Survive as a Pirate


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Settle in and drift off as we take you on a slow, sarcastic, and deeply uncomfortable voyage into the grimy reality of 18th-century piracy. You’ve seen the Hollywood version — now meet the truth.

Forget buried treasure and daring sea shanties. This is the real pirate’s life: moldy hardtack, hammocks soaked in mystery fluid, and crewmates named things like “Half-Ear Jim” and “Scraps.”

Narrated in a calm, British tone with dry humor and historical accuracy, this immersive bedtime story breaks down the brutal, unsanitary, and weirdly bureaucratic life aboard a pirate ship. Perfect for sleeping, studying, or simply learning why you'd never make it past breakfast on the high seas.


🛏️ Drowsy Historian’s Favorite Sleep Tools

Looking to upgrade your nighttime routine? These are a few things I personally use or recommend:

• Sleep Earbuds for Enhanced Immersion → https://amzn.to/4pVFoJy

• Blanket Soft Enough to Make the Plague Feel Tolerable → https://amzn.to/3GSOq8f

• Weighted Blanket for Pretending You’re a Mummified Pharaoh → https://amzn.to/4kVJCgE

• Sleep Mask Headphones For Total Historical Escape → https://amzn.to/4nWsNVn

• Book Light for Reading About Plagues at 2AM → https://amzn.to/4eSg0iu

• White Noise Machine for Blocking Out the 21st Century → https://amzn.to/3GJ9jTw


These are affiliate links. I may earn a small commission if you purchase through them—at no extra cost to you. Thanks for supporting the show while staying cozy.

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History For Sleep with the Drowsy HistorianBy Drowsy Historian

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