You Better DON'T!

Episode 140: The Meg

Lisa interviews Steve Alten, author of The Meg.

Episode 139: Blackhole Sunflower

Steve pulls rank as a whistling prodigy; Lisa was a terrible 2 month teenage goth.

Episode 138: Slaaaaayer!

Lisa’s marriage gets an arrogant, sexy Han Solo boost; Steve wonders if Slayer wrote an ABBA song.

Episode 137: Pot PUN-ishments

Lisa and Steve JOINT-ly app-ROACH HASH-ing out some unbe-WEED-able pot puns. Sorry.

Episode 136: A Goldfish Named Goldie

Sparring with a mind as great as his own, Steven argues that with great naming power must come great naming ability; Lisa called her goldfish [...]

YBD 135 Lettuce Knit

A Toronto yarn store is but a facade for vegan militarism; Lisa Schwartzman investigates! With additional reporting from Steven Shehori and a dude from work.

Episode 134: Famous, Lame Us

Lisa encourages Steven to go solo in this week’s episode, prompting him to yap about a couple of crazy brushes with fame.

Episode 133: FU Malibu

Episode 132: New God, Who Dis?

In this uber-special edition of the podcast, Steven recounts to a live audience the time when, as a neurotic 11-year-old Jewish kid, his parents accidentally [...]

Episode 131: Space Jocks

Steve has bigger things to worry about than aliens taking our stuff; Lisa does not.

Episode 129: Steve And Lisa’s Day Off

Lisa and Steven are both sick and grumpy plus Steven’s new kitten is attacking him but whatever man how are you?

Episode 128: Vase In The Face!

Should you walk on your wife’s back when she asks you to? Steven and gravity say no.

Episode 127: Rent Me!

Sometimes in life there comes a point when you simply need to rent a hockey goalie. Lisa and Steven conclude that 2018 — and 1993 [...]

Episode 126: Poker Face

Lisa and Steven try to figure out what the deal is with poker and musically progressive supermarkets.

Episode 125: Whatever, Dead Hamster

Lisa gets triggered by a trigger warning; Steve rides the line between “nice guy” and “extreme wussy.”

Episode 124: Strumpet Smurf

Lisa worries about Smurfette’s dignity while Steven smurfs one out.

Episode 123: Dumber And Dumbest

Lisa and Steven concede they’re not as smart as they think they are. Of course, if they’re not that smart, their assessment is probably wrong, [...]

Episode 122: Steve And Lisa Make A Promo

This Friday at 10pm ET, pop by www.facebook.com/youbetterdont to watch Lisa eat a giant preserved octopus on Facebook Live. This recording was supposed to be [...]

Episode 121: FREE Satanic T-Shirt!

Lisa offers YBD listeners a free t shirt. Steven suggests Lisa might totally die when she eats an octopus live on Facebook.

Episode 120: Badass Bolshevik Beats

Hip hop Lisa throws down some sick Russian rhymes. Steven forgets the name of Lisa’s kid.

Episode 119: Lisa’s AIDS Scare

Why is it always Lisa’s beloved and deceased grandparents who get molested in this podcast, and not Steven’s? Also, Lisa had an AIDS scare at [...]

Episode 118: HBD

Steven explains how the quality of Facebook birthday messages you receive can determine your ratio of friends to casual acquaintances. Meanwhile, Lisa bemoans her argument-inducing use [...]

Episode 117: Batman and Bjork Say Shut Up

Would you shaddap if Batman told you to? How about Bjork? How about Steve Shehori pretending to be Bjork?

Episode 116: Trapped In The Toilet

What would you do if you were trapped in a toilet? Steve retains his dignity and composure. Lisa keeps Steve’s totally illegal arson a secret.

Episode 115: Nutella Umbrella

Lisa takes a nihilistic new catchphrase / mantra out for a spin. Then Steven gives her the gears for bringing up plants for the 9000th [...]

Episode 114: Nazi Comedy Accountants

Steven and Lisa discuss the worst type of comedy club administrator there is, until Lisa spins out of control and sees only darkness everywhere. Bonus: [...]

Episode 113: Extreme Vetting

Lisa uncovers the downside to saving her precious pup’s life. Steven then shares a story about taking his ex-girlfriend’s dog to the vet, and it’s [...]

Episode 112: White Chicks Get Out!

Lisa’s nagging lands her in hot water; Steven investigates whether she has learned her lesson.

Episode 111: Nightmare Train

Lisa’s adorable kid has some chilling things to say about her existence.

Episode 110: Sweet Mama Love

Steven jokingly — yet convincingly — suggests he’s been dating Lisa’s lovely Russian mom. Despite this thought experiment being Lisa’s idea, it pretty much destroys [...]

Episode 109: What the Eff Is An Ankshetty?

Lisa and Steven kvetch about guided meditation, kids show mascots, and annoying voices.

Episode 108: The Death Stabinator

Lisa and Steven pore over the barbarically alpha male world of gaming keyboards. Can you even CLICK, bro?! Bonus: this episode’s final two minutes are [...]

Episode 107: Crocodile Meditation

Lisa becomes one with the universe after transforming into a swimming pool reptile. Steven wholeheartedly welcomes this new life choice.

Episode 106: Sorceress Witch Of The Space Future

Lisa regales Steven about her outer space premonition dream. In return, Steven shares his own premonition dream that came true, and hoo boy, you don’t [...]

Episode 105: Sheho The Media Ho

Lisa grills Steven on the new Shehori Brothers DIY publicity book, Media Whore. Steven welcomes the free publicity because he’s a media whore.

Episode 104: Dickbag Engineer

Lisa details how she methodically shuts down her husband’s brain and un-potty trains her two-year-old.

Episode 103: SHAVING CATS!!??

Strange kitty shearings are afoot, and only West Virginia’s finest can track down the clipper-wielding culprit. Unrelated bonus: The great Willie Nelson gets what’s coming [...]

Episode 102: Steve The Absent Monster

Lisa’s gone solo in this week’s episode to rip on Steven for the fact she’s gone solo in this week’s episode. Make sense?

Episode 101: Past And Future

Lisa and Steven delve nine years into the ol’ archives to uncover their first attempt at a podcast. And as it turns out, their younger [...]

Episode 100: Yee-Ho Alabama

For their 100th episode, Lisa and Steven insert themselves into the decades-old Lynyrd Skynyrd / Neil Young feud.

Episode 99: BJ Machine

Lisa chats about www.Safaroma.com, her new fair trade initiative that helps female Afghani farmers reclaim their lives. Meanwhile, Steven presents the proof of concept for a [...]

Episode 98: Greetings From Dummytown

Steven points out the various excuses Lisa makes when she’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Naturally, this leads to a Whitney Houston sing-along.

Episode 97: Nostalgia Hematoma

Is shit from our collective childhoods not quite as awesome as we remember? Lisa and Steven weigh in.

Episode 96: The Grape Beast Of West Virginia

The YBD team is BACK FROM VACATION, SUKKAZ! This week, Lisa reveals her son can be a tad blunt when it comes to her physical [...]

Episode 95: Wipe Your Face, Dead Joe Cocker!

Lisa threatens Steven with violence, then shares a personal ‘Wonder Years’-esque tale of teenage humiliation.

Episode 94: The Turducken Singularity

Lisa and Steven discuss meat, Hollywood Boulevard mascots, and Target. #America

Episode 93: Pain + Laughter = FU Listeners

While Lisa tells a coupla tales about childhood anguish, Steven turns heel on You Better DON’T! listeners (just for the hell of it).

Episode 92: Forrest Gum

Lisa reveals her true motive for visiting Steven in Los Angeles: an obsession with tasting Bubba Gump shrimp.

Episode 91: Mind Hug

Steven details point by point how Lisa is an abject failure compared to her far more talented parents.

Episode 90: Shoddy-o Audio

Lisa’s misophonia (a clinical hatred of certain sounds) gets seriously triggered when Steven attempts to sync up their audio with a mouth full of cookies.